This last week was a good week for me. However, I will say, the week before was very difficult, emotionally, physically, and mentally. For those of you who read my Facebook status update a week ago, I wrote about having a hard day. For those of you who didn't get a chance to read it, I wrote, "After being here for nearly two weeks, I finally had the 'Ah-Ha!' moment of, 'Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.' It was a very overwhelming, and exhausting day for me...And to be honest, it was really hard. Here's to hoping that tomorrow is an easier day."
Why was that day so hard for me? Well, here in Germany, I am an Au Pair...Also known as an overseas nanny. My job is to help with the children, but also to help teach the children I nanny English. My job is to speak English all day, everyday, that I am with the children...Which makes it hard to learn German, the first language of the people here.
The day I wrote that status update was the first time I was really "thrown" into German culture. It was one of my first moments of culture shock. In the morning, we went to a meeting of young moms and their children, so their children can play together while the moms talk. When we arrived, I was told that the women there know English. (But, of course, it's still not their first language and in the small town where we live, there is almost no need to speak English.) We talked for about five minutes in English. The rest of the time we spent together was in German.
Coming to Germany, I really only knew one or two words. Now I know at least 20-25 words...Progress! But, while that is progress, it's not really enough to follow conversation. If the conversation is about an airplane (Flugzeug in German...Sounding kind of like "fluke-zoy-k"), I at least know that the topic or that an airplane was involved in the discussion, but that's about it. I also know the word for "no", which is "nein" - which sounds like the English word "nine". Knowing the word "no" in German comes in handy with the children, and for knowing when people are answering questions.
We were with the group for a little more than two hours. Occasionally I would get a summarized version of what was being said, but not the full conversation. Only hearing a summary of the conversations every 20-30 minutes makes it difficult to partake in the discussion.
After meeting the group from the church, we had lunch plans. The lady I live with (Anna), her children (Daniel and Markus), and I were going to eat at her in-laws house (her husband, Friedrich, was working). When we got to the house of her in-laws, I was asked if I spoke either Russian or German. When Anna told them I only know English, I saw the disappointment spread across the lady's face.
During the lunch, there was some translation, but most of the conversation I missed because of my lack of knowledge with German. We were there for 2-3 hours.
All of the people I met were really kind and nice, and lunch was delicious. However, by the end of the day, I was exhausted. Spending about five hours around the German language was hard for me.
Not knowing what was going on and not being able to communicate made me feel lost and confused. And even more than that? It made me feel extremely lonely. I was excited about the possibility of meeting new people and making new friends. At home, I usually make new friends with ease. Making a new friend isn't usually a struggle for me. But at home, there is a common language: English. For the first time in my life, I've found it to be a challenge to make new friends due to my lack of ability to communicate.
Before coming to Germany, I spent time in Nashville. I was able to meet with my friends, Josh and Alicia. They are dear friends of mine and they are missionaries to Japan. While in Nashville, I was able to connect with them at the Free Will Baptist International Mission office. This was an unexpected visit, but a VERY welcomed one! It was a really great surprise for my trip.
When Josh and Alicia were sharing about their time in Japan, they shared about their ministry, relationships, joys, and struggles. They also shared about language school and how exhausting they found it to be...leaving their brains stretched and worn out, and their desire to just stare at a wall due to their low energy level.
The day when I was around Germany for about five hours, at one point I caught myself staring at a wall. Feeling a bit lost and confused as German was being spoken all around me...and not understanding a thing, I was extremely overwhelmed. Then, when I realized I was staring at a wall in the middle of it all... I started chuckling to myself...but only in my head - I didn't want to look like "that crazy Crazy, Californian, American who stares at a wall while laughing"...It also made me smile, as I thought of my dear friends and their adventures and my time spent with them.
Knowing about Josh and Alicia's time learning Japanese, I instantly knew (because of their stories) that staring at a wall is a normal event to take place when adapting to a new culture and language. When I told Alicia about my staring contest with a wall, she told me that it was a sign that my brain was just taking a break.
So, for those wondering why my day was so rough - that is a summary about some of the events that took place.
...Now...Back to my staring contest with a wall...
The Traveling Chick,