tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44775069259874940862024-03-13T02:42:14.242-07:00Crystal HodgesCrystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.comBlogger142125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-13203056863152235882023-11-06T12:19:00.003-08:002023-11-06T12:19:54.815-08:00A Poem: Your Birthmark (Your Map)<p style="text-align: left;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV3UeSEw8t7gX9xy5azS0Yn7zLJwHNr17d-jdoahHctEx9Vh9fdX7XBeH2dorlf9DH_W-FNamSGQ4M7T_qygKZToCakHs3sUVMZVLs6I96jLUVPRuYrPXs8MKgJw7CXIzWTbXbbXtOzeQidxFwEEfgQ0nw4qAcK07e6IvbeKL2YzUjE-GFq_uidfRix3g/s4000/7%20-%20Crystal%20Hodges_9043_hr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="2668" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjV3UeSEw8t7gX9xy5azS0Yn7zLJwHNr17d-jdoahHctEx9Vh9fdX7XBeH2dorlf9DH_W-FNamSGQ4M7T_qygKZToCakHs3sUVMZVLs6I96jLUVPRuYrPXs8MKgJw7CXIzWTbXbbXtOzeQidxFwEEfgQ0nw4qAcK07e6IvbeKL2YzUjE-GFq_uidfRix3g/s320/7%20-%20Crystal%20Hodges_9043_hr.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo by Jeremy Cowart</i></span></td></tr></tbody></table> <span style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">In a world of black and white, you're a splash of purple hue,<br /></span><span style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">A birthmark on your face, a story that's so true.<br /></span>A map of life's adventures, a tale of strength and grace,<br />In the mirror of your soul, it's a journey we can trace.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br />Your <span style="font-family: inherit;"><a style="color: #385898; cursor: pointer; font-family: inherit;" tabindex="-1"></a></span>purple birthmark, a guide to the unknown,<br />A symbol of your courage, a path that you have grown.<br />Let's unravel the mysteries, let's explore the untold,<br />For this purple birthmark, it's a map we'll hold.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br />Oh, purple birthmark on Your face, a map of destiny,<br />Leading us to places where we're meant to be.<br />Through mountains and valleys, we'll navigate with grace,<br />For this purple birthmark, it's a map we'll embrace.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br />Each line and curve, a chapter of your life,<br />A journey of resilience, through happiness and strife.<br />With every step we take, a new adventure awaits,<br />Guided by this birthmark, we'll conquer any gates.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br />Oh, this purple birthmark, a guide to the unknown,<br />A symbol of your courage, a path that you have grown.<br />Let's unravel the mysteries, let's explore the untold,<br />For this purple birthmark, it's a map we'll hold.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br />With every twist and turn, we'll find our way,<br />Through stormy nights and sunny days.<br />This purple birthmark, a compass in disguise,<br />Guiding us to love, where our hearts will rise.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br />So let's follow the lines, wherever they may lead,<br />Discovering the magic, fulfilling every need.<br />For this purple birthmark, it's a map we'll forever trace,<br />A symbol of our journey, a map we'll never replace.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The Travelin' Chick,</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br />Crystal</p>Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-70486843528211432072021-03-08T15:31:00.000-08:002021-03-08T15:31:07.482-08:009 Products that Help With My Migraines<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />If you're anything like me, you're on the constant look out for anything that gives migraine relief. (After all, I'm sure that's why you clicked on my blog link, right?) <p></p><p>I remember my first-ever migraine like it was yesterday. I was six years old, and laying on the couch. My mom was worried, and I couldn't lift my head without tears streaming out of my eyes. Little did we know, that moment was the start of migraines becoming a part of my daily life due to my birthmark causing a rare disease called Sturge-Weber syndrome. Since then I've had countless MRIs to track my birthmarks affects on my brain, been prescribed preventive migraine medication, and medication to help migraines when they hit.</p><p>So, after 20-something years of migraines, and 20-something years of searching after products that have helped me...I thought I'd share what I have liked the most. But remember – I'm not a doctor. I'm just a professional migrainer constantly on the search, trying to share my findings.</p><p><i>Also, side note: I may earn a commission if you purchase something from the recommended links. And depending on when you read this entry, the prices may vary.</i></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaLRJcH57ZW7A7dPVd6nxxnW2L-zRUPwv2BAsRra6EK9uipUZUV95Fjv_NUFU8o9_hhijsoQMhhI0QQMTmYvmAle3DV7uHTRNt9_hAURXNSPvfSFwPzfig5Tv7M8gYwb2MFy2y28JoIc4/s1500/NECK+MASSAGER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1209" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaLRJcH57ZW7A7dPVd6nxxnW2L-zRUPwv2BAsRra6EK9uipUZUV95Fjv_NUFU8o9_hhijsoQMhhI0QQMTmYvmAle3DV7uHTRNt9_hAURXNSPvfSFwPzfig5Tv7M8gYwb2MFy2y28JoIc4/s320/NECK+MASSAGER.jpg" /></a></div><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">1. Shiatsu Back Shoulder and Neck Massager with Heat</h3><p>This is one of my very favorite things I own in my self-care kit. This works out those tense muscles in the neck and shoulders that sometimes cause those migraines and headaches due to daily life issues. You can also use it on your lower back if needed, too! And with the arm straps? You can modify it as needed to put extra pressure on specific spots. For my life style, a major bonus is that this product also comes with a car plug-in for those long rode trips that can tire out the body.</p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/3eoP3G2" target="_blank">Current Price: $49.98</a></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI5ZDiHBcbeXTtrGg3hF5cwmzmVgi8E2-696vwfhEqXFfKlk5aWL_b-IEz9JtnEdt4kOZh2f6hHIJXVhcsTN5mUMZ7yZoDVqRjRKx0tPkXfHy6jI5tlxCn3r2JKopqhTuivhc70fa1SDo/s1200/ice+roller.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI5ZDiHBcbeXTtrGg3hF5cwmzmVgi8E2-696vwfhEqXFfKlk5aWL_b-IEz9JtnEdt4kOZh2f6hHIJXVhcsTN5mUMZ7yZoDVqRjRKx0tPkXfHy6jI5tlxCn3r2JKopqhTuivhc70fa1SDo/s320/ice+roller.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><h3 style="text-align: left;">2. Ice Roller</h3><div>My usual go to is an ice-pack, which I'll share later in this list. However, I always keep this in my freezer. This has been known to help me as well. Not only does it have the ice-pack affect, but my husband can rub it on my neck or the back of my head – which is a huge help. This version of the ice roller comes with two changeable rollers, one plastic and one metal. </div><p><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B087717FHN/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B087717FHN&linkCode=as2&tag=crystalhodg09-20&linkId=675ba8a4b6af06cf3ee393aa034108af" target="_blank">Current Price: $17.99</a></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzVLKMEGyOJ3C6aqdQk7P4M0N-AuI3IHnbaZaFClZKcATMOuQHhNOHVOUadk2hFZ_5SbgENO99zZGnVkiLA6-B_ATJ5TXrNT0LeaCe0mOkFyCP6UYna2EjhZ8lW-7e9h0MC9v51gj8SEQ/s1440/Head+Wrap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzVLKMEGyOJ3C6aqdQk7P4M0N-AuI3IHnbaZaFClZKcATMOuQHhNOHVOUadk2hFZ_5SbgENO99zZGnVkiLA6-B_ATJ5TXrNT0LeaCe0mOkFyCP6UYna2EjhZ8lW-7e9h0MC9v51gj8SEQ/s320/Head+Wrap.jpg" /></a></div><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">3. Gel Bead Migraine Wrap</h3><p>This has newly been added to my collection – but I love it! Most ice packs that I buy cover my eyes because I usually love the black-out affect, but I don't always need that affect. Sometimes I still have energy and the light isn't what affects my migraine. This icepacks hits my temples, the front of my head, and has a velcro strap so you can pick how tight you want it to be. Often you can find me fighting my migraine on the couch, still able to watch TV with this on. Or, if it's an even better day – I may even be able to throw a load of laundry in or cook dinner thanks to this guy.</p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2O5MvSJ" target="_blank">Current Price: $8.99</a></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjzudWGG1bxzsGx96mtz164_slpBC2RiaYrZk1CfSCiJYdc5Qz53iKgz7fc_L1o8Rrlq1u5eatsNJ0EHe_LWIWT-7fdjzvq8rDjq7AC8dMw89HDRZacVBEzVGjlBUk-oFVx1kM978IGcg/s1500/MIGRAINE+STICK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="718" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjzudWGG1bxzsGx96mtz164_slpBC2RiaYrZk1CfSCiJYdc5Qz53iKgz7fc_L1o8Rrlq1u5eatsNJ0EHe_LWIWT-7fdjzvq8rDjq7AC8dMw89HDRZacVBEzVGjlBUk-oFVx1kM978IGcg/s320/MIGRAINE+STICK.jpg" /></a></div><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">4. Migraine Stick</h3><p>If you were to look in my purse, you will always find the migraine stick. If I'm out and about and I feel a migraine coming on, I take my medication but I rub some of this on my temples, neck, and head. It does have an essential oil scent to it – which I don't mind, but it's not been my husband's favorite. But for me, this is five stars out of five stars. When I run out – I'm definitely getting more.</p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/3elXjGI" target="_blank">Current Price: $11.99</a></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl2ykFWWnmNXELxuYWHLCW2mkAvfWG3f-tpIDqSvj0o6HxDZprFpu4S2rJ8NqNLgfjs7CPu_5X0RBC3J_BXuF4mkyXKf8ut9RRPria9pObyH4_VULNE4uC6eG2pl-HBaMgDl8LDwLFVvY/s1500/HEAD+MASSAGER+WIRE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1131" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl2ykFWWnmNXELxuYWHLCW2mkAvfWG3f-tpIDqSvj0o6HxDZprFpu4S2rJ8NqNLgfjs7CPu_5X0RBC3J_BXuF4mkyXKf8ut9RRPria9pObyH4_VULNE4uC6eG2pl-HBaMgDl8LDwLFVvY/s320/HEAD+MASSAGER+WIRE.jpg" /></a></div><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">5. Head Massager</h3><p>When I'm experiencing a migraine, I for sure can't use this tool alone. However, if you have someone who doesn't mind loving on you a bit, this will be a good distraction during the pain and sometimes doesn't help. It's not usually my go-to, but I have been known to turn to this a time or two!</p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/3elRFVi" target="_blank">Current Price: $9.89</a></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAL0TDj-u74dryWhHC8w0BMGaIOuP_OB1ReT3q0UxauA80-nbiZGZrd8R8hU9ZfRESA-M5Ai1WdRcQcodbdqlPZu9GWylzx2rW2hID1P_rD8dobMkg8H1Y2mm7c9AygNff9vLWgal-E8s/s1444/HEAD+MASSAGER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1383" data-original-width="1444" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAL0TDj-u74dryWhHC8w0BMGaIOuP_OB1ReT3q0UxauA80-nbiZGZrd8R8hU9ZfRESA-M5Ai1WdRcQcodbdqlPZu9GWylzx2rW2hID1P_rD8dobMkg8H1Y2mm7c9AygNff9vLWgal-E8s/s320/HEAD+MASSAGER.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">6. Airbag Head Scalp Massager</h3><p>Out of all the things I've ever tried, I think I was the most skeptical about this. However, this won me over fast! This plugs into an outlet near wherever you're sitting or laying, and runs for 10 minutes. It velcro around your head, and fills with air compressions on and off – like an airbag. Just constantly. For 10 minutes at a time. I remember when my husband and I tried this out, and my husband (who doesn't even get migraines) told me, "I want to get another one for my desk at work. This is so relaxing."</p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2PMhMdN" target="_blank">Current Price: $79.99</a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGb6_CGxU_oV_Y3p7KUhsx_1Shbgyx62eVEDgNNTCalNfua0ARcNAjQDOAr_sFBZBopCvEFhXBimk4XmmkMqtxFSthwD8lnN6vXz2328kRVKynBZ2y5teEGca-i3Ui83sRPzrvI-hCugQ/s1391/ICE+PACK+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1276" data-original-width="1391" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGb6_CGxU_oV_Y3p7KUhsx_1Shbgyx62eVEDgNNTCalNfua0ARcNAjQDOAr_sFBZBopCvEFhXBimk4XmmkMqtxFSthwD8lnN6vXz2328kRVKynBZ2y5teEGca-i3Ui83sRPzrvI-hCugQ/s320/ICE+PACK+.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">7. Eye Mask</h3><div><br /></div><div>This is by far my all-time favorite things on this list. Ice packs just help my migraines like nothing else (well, except my medication), and this one blocks out the light and has a velcro strap that let's me adjust how tight I want it around my head. It also can be heated or used cold, and comes with a washable, soft, fabric cover. It's so soothing that I often will fall asleep using it, even in the midst of the pain.<p><a href="https://amzn.to/3vgUuwW" target="_blank">Current Price: $12.95</a></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXnNMc5oRUuSaHsG8pg1LLkgHSSHop80E7GjO-CJq0OOeaUyZmq7uU3BcOIG1rOcu2cGZ5whiz3XSTUzr11nwUzExHyxYTVJwGb3ssOB1dmwKE-SiwAeU65XpjRu0ZmavNRQ4XTN4xHF8/s1500/MIGRAINE+CAP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1500" data-original-width="1461" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXnNMc5oRUuSaHsG8pg1LLkgHSSHop80E7GjO-CJq0OOeaUyZmq7uU3BcOIG1rOcu2cGZ5whiz3XSTUzr11nwUzExHyxYTVJwGb3ssOB1dmwKE-SiwAeU65XpjRu0ZmavNRQ4XTN4xHF8/s320/MIGRAINE+CAP.jpg" /></a></div><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">8. Headache and Migraine Relief Cap</h3><p>I like that this ice pack can cover the whole head. Most migraine-focused ice packs I have focus on the front of my head, or the temples, But this ones covers everything. The design even takes into consideration women's hair and the need to get it out of the way with a pony tail, too! I love the pressure of this cap, and of course – that it's cold.</p><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2OAzqAo" target="_blank">Current Price: $26</a><a href="http://.34">.34</a></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6DGV1dPSuFfmFT0T40RxcEIu5BAFQlm_em130suEgHiSS7tJNIjRRvdOpL3S-1gliBjkoUE_-GRbCm_zz34MeT98JXlWx2l4xD8x1NcjTRuulIRCpiWASwbvErO9IgbO2JCGVLOUR60I/s987/E.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="987" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6DGV1dPSuFfmFT0T40RxcEIu5BAFQlm_em130suEgHiSS7tJNIjRRvdOpL3S-1gliBjkoUE_-GRbCm_zz34MeT98JXlWx2l4xD8x1NcjTRuulIRCpiWASwbvErO9IgbO2JCGVLOUR60I/s320/E.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">9. Excedrin Migraine </h3><div>Before you take this, I do recommend you ask your doctor if it's OK for you and your body and medical conditions. For me, though, if my migraine medication doesn't do my migraine justice, I switch to this. It doesn't take away my migraines, but it's a good ally to keep in the cabinet. </div><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2OhVfF7" target="_blank">Current Price: $19.89</a></p><p><br /></p><p>Now that you've read my list, what would you add to it?</p><p>The Travelin' Chick,</p><p>Crystal</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p><br /></p></div>Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-17792629064130052572021-01-06T09:50:00.003-08:002021-01-06T09:56:25.546-08:00After a Nurse Was Flippant About My Facial Difference<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvn15hM5kL-aOy05781yhyphenhyphena4yblVhT63XsE54iQdML2yCKf3mU83ZIta5lmOcAcyEcad1A1Hr_bKez6kfl_iRWZxYw_gW9924BL8AM0nE5AyjRyNxNN3gEz2JxC7whDZ1v7_J-4q5P6g0/s960/Blog.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Woman with purple birthmark on her face wears a face mask, looking to her side." border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvn15hM5kL-aOy05781yhyphenhyphena4yblVhT63XsE54iQdML2yCKf3mU83ZIta5lmOcAcyEcad1A1Hr_bKez6kfl_iRWZxYw_gW9924BL8AM0nE5AyjRyNxNN3gEz2JxC7whDZ1v7_J-4q5P6g0/w256-h320/Blog.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>The other day, my phone rang. It was right before Christmas and I noticed my doctor’s office was calling me. Knowing I didn’t have an appointment for a few months, I was confused as to why they were calling.<p></p><p>In October, at this very same doctor's office, I had met with a nurse who I had seen nearly every month during 2020 at my specialist's office. She knew who I was. She even knew my story. But this crisp day in October caught me off guard. </p><p>As she was helping me that day in the office, her forehead quickly began to wrinkle. Pointing to her face, she began to speak. Without a voice of concern, she instead nosily and rudely asked me, "What happened to you?"</p><p>Knowing it wasn't my first time there, nor our first discussion about it (not to mention that it is listed on my medical chart), I quickly became annoyed but tried to maintain my patience. This wasn't my<a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2015/06/to-nurse-who-thought-i-was-sleeping.html"> first experience</a> of this kind in a doctor's office. It isn't the worst, and it won't be my last.</p><p>Caught by surprise, I only replied on the spot with, "It's a birthmark. A port wine stain."</p><p>Flippantly the nurse replied, “Oh, that’s right. I guess I forgot.”</p><p>After this situation occurred, I went back to this doctor’s office and let my next doctor know about what happened with his coworker. I informed them that they need to know which patient they’re seeing before they walk into a room to properly treat them – and to show basic kindness and professionalism. </p><p>"I'm secure in who I am," I explained to the man who stood before me, "But as an advocate with a facial difference — I can tell you that sadly, that's not everyone's story. I've ready stories about women who are forced to wear makeup to bed by their husband's because their husband's don't want to wake up and 'see that.' A birthmark like mine is so common, it shouldn't of been handled so flippantly because the person behind the the skin matters. Emotions and the stories matter. Every patient matters. It's also a simple thing to just check the medical chart before walking in the room."</p><p>For weeks I never knew what occurred after I shared about what happened within those four walls.</p><p>Yet, the biggest gift was given to me when my phone rang that December morning.</p><p>Answering my phone, it was the very same nurse who saw me that day. The same nurse who had seemed so flippant about my facial difference. </p><p>"Hello?" I answered.</p><p>"Hello, is this Crystal?" I heard a female voice ask.</p><p>After confirming that it was, she went on.</p><p>"It was brought to my attention that I didn't handle our interaction very well last time we saw one another. In fact, I put my foot in my mouth and I chewed on it...And it makes me sick to think about it. I apologize."</p><p>She. Apologized.</p><p>Out of all the situations I've ever experienced in public, with doctors, nurses, on <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/08/the-face-that-went-viral.html">social media</a>...This doctor is the first to ever apologize. </p><p>"I became a nurse because I care about people, and I have compassion about others. You didn't get me on my best day and I didn't show that to you, and again, I'm sorry."</p><p>Within our 15 minutes on the phone, we had a sweet conversation together. It was important to me to readdress some of the issues I told the doctor, because I wasn't here to just "complain." I was hoping to teach and educate. To hope for a difference and to share why this experience mattered to me.</p><p>But also? It was more important to show her forgiveness. Grace. I had no desire to sit in bitterness or frustration of this situation, and she needed to know.</p><p>"Out of all the situations I've ever been in," I told her, "You're the first to ever apologize. Whether it's in a doctor's office or not. You've gone above and beyond. Thank you."</p><p>Before we ended the call, we both ended the conversation by agreeing that we hope to see each other and work together again in the future.</p><p>I'm now 29. The last thing I ever expected was a call from this nurse to offer me an apology...And to show a willingness to learn. To understand.</p><p>Yet, this was a sweet reminder to expect the unexpected. To remember that kindness is still out there, even when it's not expected.</p><p>There is hope.</p><p><br /></p><p>The Travelin' Chick,</p><p>Crystal Hodges</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-20837280793474513992019-05-31T11:55:00.000-07:002023-11-12T12:04:07.173-08:00Stop Assuming Things About My Face<span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Without meeting me, it’s easy to make assumptions about my life.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Why? </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Because I don't look like most people.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl-VxLZXsn2zVj8B4aW7RJKZYADX5R_bZ29ea1jrSPV8QWHqOCg1csk672ncQ9te_Scr_e8vjL7VzufI9aXr1XpnPUj30LB8_7vJw2NJ6O9narj0n4HJEDMTt5cH-T6SD8Vc9frbmYtQvb3_s9y8RKV3wsHhbCCbhyrQgX4LsklK3xPCSV6XM2nE01PQ0/s1080/BM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl-VxLZXsn2zVj8B4aW7RJKZYADX5R_bZ29ea1jrSPV8QWHqOCg1csk672ncQ9te_Scr_e8vjL7VzufI9aXr1XpnPUj30LB8_7vJw2NJ6O9narj0n4HJEDMTt5cH-T6SD8Vc9frbmYtQvb3_s9y8RKV3wsHhbCCbhyrQgX4LsklK3xPCSV6XM2nE01PQ0/s320/BM.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Over the years I've had many people come up to my parents, husband, and myself to ask questions or to pass unkind judgement. Sometimes people are genuinely kind with their curiosity, but more often than not – there's just as much said in their uncomfortable body language and unpleasant tone as there is in their words.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Here are just a few that I’ve heard:</span><div><span style="background-color: white;"><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /></span><i><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">“I thought you were the girl who had something ‘wrong’ with her face.” </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">“How’d you burn yourself?"</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">“You’re so brave for leaving your house. If I were you, I couldn’t do it."</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">“Doctors can fix that. Have you tried plastic surgery?”</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">“Is your husband beating you?”</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">“You’re too ugly for love.”</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">“Of course your beautiful, but you’d be more beautiful if that thing weren’t so prominently placed.”</span></i><br /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Yet, very few (while making assumptions) get it right.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">And that's the problem with making assumptions. That's the problem with jumping to conclusions.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">I was born with a port wine stain birthmark.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">But being born with a port wine stain birthmark – especially on my face – isn’t necessarily what you think it means, both medically and personally. And there are 10 things I need you to know before the wrong assumptions are made about my life and condition, and possibly the lives of others. </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">1. Three in 1,000 babies are born with a port wine stain birthmark – and that doesn't include any other types of birthmarks. </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">2. I’m not brave for leaving my house. I’m just living my best life at Target, just like you. I’m not brave because I look “different” or because I’m a little more medically complex. This is my normal. It may not be your normal, but it is mine...Purple face and all. Stares, kind questions, harsh comments and all. I don't know life any differently. This isn't what brave looks like.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">3. A port wine stain isn’t “just a birthmark.” It’s so much more than a skin pigmentation thing. Instead, it’s caused by development of blood vessels under the skin. And in my case? These blood vessels go all the way to my brain, affecting my gums, teeth, nose, ear and eyes along the way. (But we’ll come back to that in a bit.)</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">4. My birthmark constantly helps me protect my heart. It's a steal of a deal: "Get one birthmark, get a kindness detector free!" When people look at me, I typically get their instant, gut reaction to my face. Do they stare? Do they make a rude comment? I get to see people in a unique situation that most people don't. And let's be real – what girl doesn't love a good deal? Especially when it benefits her heart.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">5. It's a free accessory I get to rock my whole life! I mean, I love the color purple – so what's not to love?</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">6. Doctors can't just "fix this." It's not that simple.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">I'm 27 years old and I've had 53 laser treatments on my birthmark. And while yes, with each treatment my birthmark gets a little lighter, that's not my end goal of the treatments. In fact, I like the purple.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">My goal is to make sure the birthmark stays healthy. Without the treatments, the birthmark can grow blebs, my skin texture can change, I can have more symmetry issues than I already have, and it can bleed at random. The purple? I really don't mind it. The other stuff? Yeah, let's worry about that.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">7. I'm definitely not "too ugly for love." And my husband? He always thinks I'm the hottest woman in the room.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">8. Because my birthmark's blood vessels affect my brain and eye, I have a rare condition called Sturge-Weber syndrome (SWS). That means I've had glaucoma in my left eye since I was 8 years old, knowing I can go blind if I don't seek out treatment, and I've had migraines since I was 6. A lot of children with this condition also have seizures, and some are told they'll never walk or talk. My form of SWS is mild, but it's definitely there. But even without the SWS – my gums bleed, I get nose bleeds, and all my upper teeth on the left side are root canalled because of complications with the port wine stain. It's just not a simple condition. It's not just a birthmark.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">9. I add a bit of color to people's lives around me! Not only does the purple add a splash of color to my skin, but it also adds a splash of color to my life. And with my humor and personality? There is always a story to tell!</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">10. Nothing is wrong with how my face looks. I don't feel the need to hide my natural appearance. I'm confident in who I am, as I am. And I don't just feel beautiful – I am beautiful! I like what I bring to the table, and I won't change who I am to make others more comfortable. I am beautifully and wonderfully made! Birthmark and all. </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">I understand people are curious about how I look. After all, I don't look like the average woman. I mean, half of my face is purple.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Curiosity is normal. In fact, it's healthy! Curiosity helps us learn and grow.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">But here's the deal: Curiosity should never get in the way of our kindness. </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Sadly, when people meet me or see me out in public, staring is the norm – and so are awkward, unkind comments with harsh tones. Why? Because people sometimes see my birthmark first instead of my humanity. </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">If you ever see me and want to ask me questions – I'm totally open to them! I'd love to help you learn and understand what you're seeing.</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">But instead of jumping to assumptions or having a one-way staring contest at my face, here's how you can start the conversation: "Hi. My name is _____. Do you mind if I ask what happened to your face?"</span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">But after you ask me about my face, please don't forget to ask me what my name is, or if I'm having a good day. </span><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><br style="caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;" /><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Because just as much as I'd like to help you learn and understand what you're seeing – I'd also love to make a new friend.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">The Travelin' Chick,</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif;">Crystal</span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 12.5px;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(5, 5, 5); color: #050505; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 12.5px;"><i>View My <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq4koDjOXBM" target="_blank">TEDx Talk Here</a>.</i></span></div><br />Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-27797260448152720112019-05-31T10:42:00.002-07:002019-05-31T10:42:47.057-07:0010 Things I Need You to Know About Life With a Port Wine Stain BirthmarkWithout meeting me, it’s easy to make assumptions about my life.<br />
<br />
Why?<br /><br />Because I don't look like most people.<br />
<br />
Over the years I've had many people come up to my parents, husband, and myself to ask questions or to pass unkind judgement. Sometimes people are genuinely kind with their curiosity, but more often than not – there's just as much said in their uncomfortable body language and unpleasant tone as there is in their words.<br />
<br />
Here are just a few that I’ve heard:<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“I thought you were the girl who had something ‘wrong’ with her face.” </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“How’d you burn yourself?”</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“You’re so brave for leaving your house. If I were you, I couldn’t do it."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“Doctors can fix that. Have you tried plastic surgery?”</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“Is your husband beating you?”</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“You’re too <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2015/07/why-im-not-too-ugly-for-love-or.html" target="_blank">ugly for love</a>.”</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“Woah – were you in an accident?”</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>“Of course your beautiful, but you’d be more beatitude if that thing weren’t so prominently placed.”</i><br />
<br />
Yet, very few (while making assumptions) get it right.<br />
<br />
And that's the problem with making assumptions. That's the problem with jumping to conclusions.<br />
<br />
I was born with a port wine stain birthmark.<br />
<br />
But being born with a port wine stain birthmark – especially on my face – isn’t necessarily what you think it means, both medically and personally. And there are 10 things I need you to know before the wrong assumptions are made about my life and condition, and possibly the lives of others.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis1p9brVBn0_rPgpXKyhvxyUYdG8MNv4E1JQqsY8GRNLYhVOa4DjJhleH9ibTClinZ4VVCJPHvltmr1OwYKf2he-23SxP4xzsX4Cqj2iXa53E8IQA9O-BoFn-ZKEGe9PP2ARpQhXSY0Mc/s1600/AF2A01C7-3034-4ACC-B5AC-29EB25738E7E.JPEG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis1p9brVBn0_rPgpXKyhvxyUYdG8MNv4E1JQqsY8GRNLYhVOa4DjJhleH9ibTClinZ4VVCJPHvltmr1OwYKf2he-23SxP4xzsX4Cqj2iXa53E8IQA9O-BoFn-ZKEGe9PP2ARpQhXSY0Mc/s640/AF2A01C7-3034-4ACC-B5AC-29EB25738E7E.JPEG" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />1. <b>Three in 1,000 babies are born with a port wine stain birthmark – and that doesn't include any other types of birthmarks. </b><br />
<br />
2.<b> I’m not brave for leaving my house. </b>I’m just living my best life at Target, just like you. I’m not brave because I look “different” or because I’m a little more medically complex. This is my normal. It may not be your normal, but it is mine...Purple face and all. Stares, kind questions, harsh comments and all. I don't know life any differently. This isn't what brave looks like.<br />
<br />
3. <b>A port wine stain isn’t “just a birthmark.”</b> It’s so much more than a skin pigmentation thing. Instead, it’s caused by development of blood vessels under the skin. And in my case? These blood vessels go all the way to my brain, affecting my gums, teeth, nose, ear and eyes along the way. (But we’ll come back to that in a bit.)<br />
<br />
4. <b>My birthmark constantly helps me protect my heart. </b>It's a steal of a deal: "Get one birthmark, get a kindness detector free!" When people look at me, I typically get their instant, gut reaction to my face. Do they stare? Do they make a rude comment? I get to see people in a unique situation that most people don't. And let's be real – what girl doesn't love a good deal? Especially when it benefits her heart.<br />
<br />
5.<b> It's a free accessory I get to rock my whole life! </b>I mean, I love the color purple – so what's not to love?<br />
<br />
6.<b> Doctors can't just "fix this." </b>It's not that simple.<br />
<br />
I'm 27 years old and I've had <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2019/05/port-wine-stain-laser-treatment-childhood.html" target="_blank">53 laser treatments</a> on my birthmark. And while yes, with each treatment my birthmark gets a little lighter, that's not my end goal of the treatments. My goal is to make sure the birthmark stays healthy. Without the treatments, the birthmark can grow blebs, my skin texture can change, I can have more symmetry issues than I already have, and it can bleed at random. The purple? I really don't mind it. The other stuff? Yeah, let's worry about that.<br />
<br />
7. <b>I'm definitely not "too ugly for love."</b> And <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2018/06/dating-port-wine-stain-birthmark-laser-treatment.html" target="_blank">my husband</a>? He always thinks I'm the hottest woman in the room.<br />
<br />
8. <b>Because my birthmark's blood vessels affect my brain and eye, I have a rare condition called Sturge-Weber syndrome (SWS).</b> That means I've had glaucoma in my left eye since I was 8 years old, knowing I can go blind if I don't seek out treatment, and I've had migraines since I was 6. A lot of children with this condition also have seizures, and some are told they'll never walk or talk. My form of SWS is mild, but it's definitely there. But even without the SWS – my gums bleed, I get nose bleeds, and all my upper teeth on the left side are root canalled because of complications with the port wine stain. It's just not a simple condition. It's not just a birthmark.<br />
<br />
9. <b>I add a bit of color to people's lives around me!</b> Not only does the purple add a splash of color to my skin, but it also adds a splash of color to my life. And with my humor and personality? There is always a story to tell!<br />
<br />
10.<b> Nothing is wrong with how my face looks.</b> I don't feel the need to hide my natural appearance. I'm confident in who I am, as I am. I like what I bring to the table, and I won't change who I am to make others more comfortable. I am beautifully and wonderfully made! Birthmark and all.<br />
<br />I understand people are curious about how I look. After all, I don't look like the average woman. I mean, half of my face is purple.<br />
<br />
Curiosity is normal. In fact, it's healthy! Curiosity helps us learn and grow.<br />
<br />
But here's the deal: Curiosity should never get in the way of our kindness.<br />
<br />
Sadly, when people meet me or see me out in public, staring is the norm – and so are awkward, unkind comments with harsh tones. Why? Because people sometimes see my birthmark first instead of my humanity.<br />
<br />
If you ever see me and want to ask me questions – I'm totally open to them! I'd love to help you learn and understand what you're seeing. But instead of jumping to assumptions or having a one-way staring contest at my face, here's how you can start the conversation: "Hi. My name is _____. Do you mind if I ask what happened to your face?"<br />
<br />
But after you ask me about my face, please don't forget to ask me what my name is, or if I'm having a good day.<br />
<br />
Because just as much as I'd like to help you learn and understand what you're seeing – I'd also love to make a new friend.<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-7617852664507919122019-05-29T16:57:00.001-07:002019-05-30T19:59:04.958-07:00I'm a Surgery Kid<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>***<b>Trigger Warning:</b> If you have a history of surgery trauma (especially laser treatments for port wine stains), the details of this post could potentially be triggering.***</i></span></div>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCVoQBEIjRs0P6RljrBpd1AmXhk1uBcbBPkcgWr2RAx8J3_9rozFBQ1xmCnFIZW2lzCJGqEZ3dIK0yA24M4nMy81fjQ3Kphmc_Cg-403kreurVGaRuUh4SQ6KA6zyPazs13GI9A21T5bo/s1600/0D8275EC-DCE7-45A6-A2C0-7482B587BAA0.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="996" data-original-width="797" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCVoQBEIjRs0P6RljrBpd1AmXhk1uBcbBPkcgWr2RAx8J3_9rozFBQ1xmCnFIZW2lzCJGqEZ3dIK0yA24M4nMy81fjQ3Kphmc_Cg-403kreurVGaRuUh4SQ6KA6zyPazs13GI9A21T5bo/s400/0D8275EC-DCE7-45A6-A2C0-7482B587BAA0.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I started treatments as a newborn. Here I am, around the<br />
age of two, post-treatment.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Finding myself in a familiar room I had been in 20 times in the last eight years, it was cold. My jaw shivered as I craved for a warm embrace by my mother or my favorite blanket.<br />
<br />
Instead, I was surrounded by strangers wearing white coats who only knew my name because of a chart – and because I was a regular. After all, I was a surgery kid.<br />
<br />
The smell of the operating room never became normal to my nostrils, and I always disliked wearing the blue hair net that the doctors also wore – but unlike for me, I knew it was part of their routine.<br />
<br />
Every surgery, at least I was able to take in one form of comfort – a stuffed animal. The doctors were always just as excited to see my stuffed animal as they were to see me, and this time it was a dog who carried a sock in its mouth. If you pulled on his treasure held by his cotton teeth, he’d let out a playful growl...And I couldn’t wait to show my doctors and nurses.<br />
<br />
As I lay on the cold, metal table, knowing what was to come, I heard the growl and laughters coming from the nurses. I was right in my choice for this surgery - he added so much warmth to the room.<br />
<br />
Then the mask covered my face.<br />
<br />
I felt my IV burn.<br />
<br />
My doctor performed his one rehearsed line well, “Count backward from 10...”<br />
<br />
The smell was instant and was like no other, and I can still smell (and taste) it several years later.<br />
<br />
<i>“10, 9, 8...”</i><br />
<br />
I knew I wouldn’t make it to “one.”<br />
<br />
I never did.<br />
<br />
Yet, every treatment I turned it into a game to see how long I could stay awake during the countdown; and alongside Monopoly and Checkers, it easily became one of my all-time favorite games.<br />
<br />
Instead of hearing myself reach "seven," the next words came from my mother's voice, "How do you feel?"<br />
<br />
I found myself trying to open my eyes – but only one was able to see the world's details and colors. Because of the swelling from the laser, my left eye was swollen shut and it would be for hours.<br />
<br />
How did I feel?<br />
<br />
<i>Swollen.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Groggy.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Thirsty.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Hot.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Happy it was over.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Ready for pizza.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Ready to go home.</i><br />
<br />
The surgery was over, and it would be two months until I'd have to go through the IV pokes, anesthesia, and surgery anxiety again.<br />
<br />
And now that it was over? It was time to ring in the rest of our traditions.<br />
<br />
A friend joining us for the medical adventure? <i>Check.</i><br />
<br />
Stuffed animal for operating room? <i>Check.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Chuck E. Cheese pizza and games? <i>That's next!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Shopping for a new book or toy at the Gilroy outlet mall? <i>Yes please! </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
We had a three hour drive to my treatment, and a three hour drive home. Mom always did her best to make it fun, and always gave me things to look forward to in the midst of all the pain.<br />
<br />
And once we got home? It was time to heal.<br />
<br />
The next week would be filled with Vaseline and ice, trying to prevent my face from blistering while it spent the seven days overheating. And after about a month? Then my purple skin tone would be back to my "normal," while slowly getting even lighter for the next six months.<br />
<br />
When I reached the age of 11, everything in the operating room changed. Instead of sedating me for my laser treatments – they wanted to keep me awake.<br />
<br />
"You can use a topical numbing cream for an hour before the treatment," they told us, "You'll be fine."<br />
<br />
When I walked in the room for my "awake treatment," I saw a big chair waiting for me surrounded by a high-tech machine. My doctor and nurse had funny looking goggles close by, and an extra pair for my mom – who got to sit in with me.<br />
<br />
Sitting in that chair for the first time, my heart felt as though it was beating three times faster than normal.<br />
<br />
As the nurse gently wiped off the numbing cream on my cheek, I was handed a stress ball to squeeze during the treatment.<br />
<br />
<i>"If I'll be fine,"</i> I wondered, <i>"Why do I need these?"</i><br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTzuqnKqBRKeQlhrmPrhPEYn0laRFeeMPCeCoRRRMrtqt6zdXoyJxQo14LD5FxgSiovqEa1YmNTZR5VDrehunbcq6kE486MvGc4W-MAmqmhhTTQqzkZgQkiRgY7Hq1oiWWu6F-fxMFCYo/s1600/24129_1374140117375_6532382_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTzuqnKqBRKeQlhrmPrhPEYn0laRFeeMPCeCoRRRMrtqt6zdXoyJxQo14LD5FxgSiovqEa1YmNTZR5VDrehunbcq6kE486MvGc4W-MAmqmhhTTQqzkZgQkiRgY7Hq1oiWWu6F-fxMFCYo/s400/24129_1374140117375_6532382_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mom's Willy Wonka glasses.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Everyone put on their goggles. Mom and looked at each other and laughed, "They look like Willy Wonka glasses!" Wanting to remember the memory forever, the nurse took a polaroid of my mom for me to take home.<br />
<br />
It was time.<br />
<br />
The doctor put my eye protectors on my eyes while asking, "Are you ready?" I cautiously nodded my head yes – not knowing what to expect.<br />
<br />
<i>Snap.</i><br />
<br />
I squeezed the stress ball tight, <i>"Oh. That's why they gave this to me."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Snap. Snap.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Instantly, I couldn't imagine doing this without this perfect surgery accessory.<br />
<i><br />Snap.</i><br />
<br />
"Ouch!" I cried out as the machine lasered my port wine stain birthmark.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
As a child I knew these treatments lightened my birthmark but that they were also needed for the health of my birthmark, which was caused by abnormal development of blood vessels in the skin. At the time, I didn't know all the medical jargon or technicality. Just the basics. But, in my case, these blood vessels go all the way to my brain. They affect my gums, the roof of my mouth, my nose, eye and my ear. Due to the eye and brain involvement I even have a condition called "Sturge-Weber syndrome" on top of it all.<br />
<br />
So these treatments...they were important.<br />
<br />
I also knew we drove three hours to get to the doctor's office, and three hours to get home.<br />
<br />
But this time? This time it hurt.<br />
<br />
"Do you need to take a break?" my doctor asked.<br />
<br />
Without hesitation, I told him, "Yes!"<br />
<br />
A few minutes later, we tried again.<br />
<br />
We didn't drive all this way for nothing. <i>I had to push through.</i><br />
<br />
<i>Snap. Snap. Snap.</i><br />
<br />
"I'm so glad my mom is in the room with me," I remember thinking. I really wouldn't have it any other way. Even though I couldn't see her, just hearing her voice was a huge help.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Snap. Snap.</i><br />
<br />
The more he did, the more it hurt.<br />
<br />
<i>Snap.</i><br />
<br />
What's that sound? Is something burning?<br />
<br />
<i>Snap. Snap.</i><br />
<br />
My doctor explains to me that it's OK, it's just the hair on my face sizzling off. It's just my own skin.<br />
<br />
<i>Snap.</i><br />
<br />
The pain. The smell. It's too much.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>"Oww..." </i><br />
<br />
I couldn't do it anymore – and I had them take off my eye protectors.<br />
<br />
And I instantly felt guilty for not handling the pain better. And even though I was only 11, I felt weak. I felt I should have been able to push through.<br />
<br />
He warned me it would feel like a rubber band snapping on my skin, snapping on my young childhood cheek, and at times that was true. But some also hurt worse.<br />
<br />
Feeling traumatized, but also confident in my appearance, I remember telling my mom at age 11, "I'm confident with who I am as I am. I don't want to go back. I'm done."<br />
<br />
Her response was epic, "It's your body, it's your choice."<br />
<br />
After that treatment, it would be seven years before I went back to the operating room.<br />
<br />
When I was 18, I decided to Google my own condition because I realized one important thing: While I grew up with the port wine stain, having MRIs and laser treatments...I still didn't know much about it. And because I grew up being in their offices since birth, at some point, the doctors forgot to explain my condition to me – their patient. And I had to know more about the condition I was living with.<br />
<br />
Learning more, I realized that without treatments, I was at risk of: <i>Blebs, asymmetry, growth, skin texture changing.</i> And I already had asymmetry issues on my cheek and lip.<br />
<br />
Taking my results to my mom, I told her, "I want to have treatments again."<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSwsZw2KCKgOMi_gUEjWTwdoxAaW2QRFZuloLGi24uhPsde7k6VGhmt4iSkshWgjxyQJEC5L-h74WE3R7Y8QWymcn_7N6rt1Up6VtOBRtfw_dLIK1o0BWXTe_yK8WhKDdBmmBavzkT6DY/s1600/27751801_10215263944735737_186567574418099377_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="858" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSwsZw2KCKgOMi_gUEjWTwdoxAaW2QRFZuloLGi24uhPsde7k6VGhmt4iSkshWgjxyQJEC5L-h74WE3R7Y8QWymcn_7N6rt1Up6VtOBRtfw_dLIK1o0BWXTe_yK8WhKDdBmmBavzkT6DY/s320/27751801_10215263944735737_186567574418099377_n.jpg" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just like icing on a cake.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
She replied in a beautiful way, not realizing she gave a similar answer several years prior, "It's your body, it's your choice."<br />
<br />
I'm now 27 years old and I've had 53 treatments. Even with the pain and anxiety I've experienced over the years, I don't regret my choice to go back. Because even with the treatments, I'm still developing blebs – which look like raised bumps on my skin that can bleed at random, especially if bumped wrong or scratched. And man, do they <i>bleed. </i>At this point I only have three...But without the treatments, would I have more?<br />
<br />
Since my first "awake treatment," I've learned to put on the numbing cream like a pro – putting it on like icing on a cake, no hint of purple to be seen. And instead of holding one stress ball during the procedure, I ask for two.<br />
<br />
My doctors constantly want to put the metal contact in my eye to treat it, but my reflexes and anxiety are too strong. After all...I can't put the numbing cream on my eye. It would be my skin against the laser, without a shield to protect it from the pain. As a result, my reflexes and anxiety win. They always overpower my doctors hands and persistence. Instead, they let me have anesthesia every three treatments so we can also treat the eye lid.<br />
<br />
Because of technology improvement, the variation of the settings of the machine and the thick, bitter icing I wear on my face – most awake treatments are not nearly as painful as the first attempt at age 11. I'm also more mentally prepared, although I still wish my doctors would give me something to help me relax during the process. Yes, some treatments hurt a lot and I need more breaks to get through them. But then there are others where the pain is minimal and I don't need any breaks. For those, I'm done in about 10 minutes. But because of the trauma of the first treatment I had awake, and not knowing if it'll be a painful treatment day when I go in – the anxiety is always high a week before going in, and during the procedure.<br />
<br />
As an adult, I still take a favorite stuffed animal to each treatment, even if it stays in my purse. But, I no longer go to Chuck E. Cheese as the after-party tradition. Instead, when I have treatments in California, have Jamba Juice for lunch and we go to Casa De Fruta afterwards, which is the halfway spot between my doctor's office and home. (Plus, they have the best rocky road.)<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv_k0BIaj1z_tUXpy3at8P5LEaoX1Impp3ckW7R-5KlGG4FokYcAel_4AWZDXaGvY3rbpSjEGpASgHupVPh0GSpOYvTBu-4e7jhYwjLblKSF4TEB9XwhDAtvrjQkiFHfMruJNbq1s6dc4/s1600/320518_5000147245287_1652880179_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="638" data-original-width="960" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv_k0BIaj1z_tUXpy3at8P5LEaoX1Impp3ckW7R-5KlGG4FokYcAel_4AWZDXaGvY3rbpSjEGpASgHupVPh0GSpOYvTBu-4e7jhYwjLblKSF4TEB9XwhDAtvrjQkiFHfMruJNbq1s6dc4/s400/320518_5000147245287_1652880179_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my mom. <3 td=""></3></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Now, however, I live in Nashville, TN. After 27 years I have to find new doctors to perform the treatments and new traditions to follow after they're done – which is a little scary as for a kid who grew up with an operating room comfort zone.<br />
<br />
And at 27, my mother still goes with me to every single treatment, wearing the silly Willy Wonka goggles the doctor has to offer, and making jokes to make me laugh. I recently got married and moved across the country. During recent call with her, she asked me, "Are you having another treatment soon? If so, I need to know in advance so I can get a good rate on a plane ticket to be <br />
there."<br />
<br />
Because even though I'm 27 and married, she's still my mom.<br />
<br />
And I'm still her surgery kid.<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
CrystalCrystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-60076795404899144292019-05-24T11:59:00.000-07:002019-05-24T12:22:54.205-07:0025 Questions Children Have Asked About My Facial Birthmark (With GIFS)Over the years, I've been asked many questions about my facial difference. Many have been from adults, but several have also been from children.<br />
<br />
...And the ones from the children? Those are my favorite.<br />
<br />
As I've had conversations about my noticeable purple and asymmetrical facial features, I've noticed two things since my childhood:<br />
<br />
1. <b>Often (but not always) adults are a bit more cruel and harsh in how they ask their questions, or make their opinions known about my face.</b><br />
<br />
2.<b> Children? They're typical the opposite.</b> Usually they're just genuinely curious and they're just trying to understand the world.<br />
<br />
When it comes to conversations with the kids, sometimes their questions come out in a way that makes us, the adults, laugh or scrunch our brows. But if we fully listen to their tone, closely watch their body language, and go into the conversation with patience – we'll quickly realize that even if the question may sound odd at times, they're just trying to understand what they see. They're just trying to understand the world around them. They don't normally have an ill intent, or any intentions to hurt our feelings.<br />
<br />
So why are conversations with children some of my favorite?<br />
<br />
There are several reasons, really.<br />
<br />
The main one: I count it a joy to help children become curious in a kind way.<br />
<br />
In the last several years I've been a nanny overseas, worked in schools, and loved on my niece and kid cousins. I also <a href="http://www.crystalhodges.com/speaking.html" target="_blank">speak in schools and youth camps</a>. Any time a questions has been asked or conversations have taken place – I've written them down once they were finished.<br />
<br />
This is my collection of just a few conversations I've had over the last few years – and it was hard to decide which ones to share today. (I've also added some fun GIFS to match!)<br />
<br />
And these 25 conversations? They're gold. These conversations are the perfect opportunity to help the child's curiosity befriend kindness.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP2OIZaKjEKIX7Z6_XjiKG2itdIaLiXKcUJJPhUCtbCjgUyjoHYyLIT_20l7b2KdcGjXEpVWshd8OKf5QI8xkNNHGbLmhGHWc6pV5e645N6IVcplSfE1ML-KqAsdQLcdUbe9gcEGFVj1Y/s1600/18221614_10212697692461034_2106462814201025387_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP2OIZaKjEKIX7Z6_XjiKG2itdIaLiXKcUJJPhUCtbCjgUyjoHYyLIT_20l7b2KdcGjXEpVWshd8OKf5QI8xkNNHGbLmhGHWc6pV5e645N6IVcplSfE1ML-KqAsdQLcdUbe9gcEGFVj1Y/s320/18221614_10212697692461034_2106462814201025387_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
1. <b>Girl (Third Grade):</b> "So that's a birthmark?"<br />
<b>Me:</b> "Yep!!"<br />
<b>Girl:</b> "And you've had it since you were a baby?"<br />
<b>Me: </b>"Yep, I have."<br />
<b>Girl:</b> "Did you get it from a hamburger?"<br />
<b>Me: </b>"A hamburger?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="268" src="https://giphy.com/embed/LXd6ImCXnjC1O" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/troll-hamburger-mc-donald-LXd6ImCXnjC1O">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
2. <b>Boy (Kindergarten):</b> "What happened to your face? Did someone punch you?"<br />
<b>Me: </b>"No. I was born with this. I've alway had it and always will."<br />
<b>Boy:</b> "So...you were born and <i>then</i> someone punched you in the face?"<br />
<b>Me: </b>"No. I was born with it, just like you were born with blue eyes. Same kind of thing."<br />
<b>Boy:</b> <i>"Ohhhhhhh!"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://giphy.com/embed/zQR7qMJ3Esh0Y" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/cat-kitten-punch-zQR7qMJ3Esh0Y">via GIPHY</a><br />
<i><br /></i>
3. "Do you have purple boogers?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://giphy.com/embed/hBWVJu33Mzru8" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/nose-hBWVJu33Mzru8">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
4. "Where'd you get your tattoo from??"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/l4lRtYQCc81Dbo42A" width="322"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/beyonce-babies-twins-l4lRtYQCc81Dbo42A">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
5. <b>Student: </b>"What happened to your face?"<br />
<b>Me:</b> "It's a birthmark. I was born with it, just like you were born with brown eyes."<br />
<b>Student (with wide-eyes): </b>"Actually...I was born with <i>really crazy hair!</i>"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/mXwxPJjb1SzlhwMHfd" width="346"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/mXwxPJjb1SzlhwMHfd">via GIPHY</a><br />
<i><br /></i>
6. One of the biggest questions I get from children is, "Does the skin on you birthmark feel different?" They always want to know what it feels like, and I always explain to them that it feels like normal skin. In fact, it feels just like their skin.<br />
<br />
One day, however, I was standing around several kindergarten children. Next thing I knew, the questions were coming...and so were their hands as they pet the side with my birthmark and then my "normal" side to compare the two. Usually my reflexes are much faster when a child tries to touch my face without asking – but that day? I became a human "petting zoo."<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="330" src="https://giphy.com/embed/3o6Ztpkyi5c1NBOQKI" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/hulu-east-los-high-hulu-original-3o6Ztpkyi5c1NBOQKI">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
8. "You were stung by a bee...Huh??"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/HycGUSe7OCmFG" width="360"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/bee-bees-HycGUSe7OCmFG">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
9. <b>Boy:</b> "What happened to your face?"<br />
<b>Me:</b> "It's a birthmark. I was born with it."<br />
<b>Boy:</b> "Yeah, but, like...what happened to your face?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="321" src="https://giphy.com/embed/w8z2ECSidRE4" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/johnny-depp-tim-burton-edward-scissorhands-w8z2ECSidRE4">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
10. <b>Boy (Second Grade):</b> "What happened to your face? Did you break it?"<br />
<b>Me: </b>"No, it's a birthmark."(Then I tried to explain my port wine stain the best way possible in kid terms.)<br />
<b>Boy:</b> "Ohhhh...I thought you brokeded it."<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="333" src="https://giphy.com/embed/kNaL82GpLNkJ2" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/jennifer-lawrence-gif-hunt-kNaL82GpLNkJ2">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
11. "Did a spider bite you?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="200" src="https://giphy.com/embed/wRUu0zm9Q5FL2" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/spiderman-captain-america-civil-war-wRUu0zm9Q5FL2">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
12. After coming inside from recess one day, some of the kids were hot. One of the kid's face was red from the heat and the other kids started pointing it out by saying to me with wide eyes, "He's turning <i>PURPLE – </i>just like <i>YOU</i>!!"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="296" src="https://giphy.com/embed/hSyyBgF9aXMCA" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/willy-wonka-gene-wilder-the-chocolate-factory-hSyyBgF9aXMCA">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
13. Walking around the playground, I was stopped by a young boy, around the first grade. Looking at me, he told me matter-of-factly, "You're dirty."<br />
<br />
Confused, I looked at my shirt to see if I had spilt anything. But it was clean.<br />
<br />
I replied, "What? No I'm not."<br />
<br />
Noticing my birthmark, he told me, "Yes you are. You have stuff on your face."<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="324" src="https://giphy.com/embed/yHFmKGFciefXa" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/dessert-yHFmKGFciefXa">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
14. "Why don't you have a tattoo on the other side too?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/fnW26XcTOK79rCF1b4" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/garrett-maude-fnW26XcTOK79rCF1b4">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
15. "Is your face going to explode?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/C8X5xlontnNLcuNmVS" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/warnerbrosde-reaction-scared-explode-C8X5xlontnNLcuNmVS">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
16. "Are your teeth purple too?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/3ov9k5bxbd8khEgL9S" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/hyperrpg-reaction-no-3ov9k5bxbd8khEgL9S">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
17. Indicating towards my birthmark, a 5-year-old once asked me, "You like the color purple, huh?"<br />
<br />
(I mean, why blend in when you're born to stand out?)<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/3ohzgUnet4lGCoQA9y" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/Jomper-bwelt-jomperlife-3ohzgUnet4lGCoQA9y">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
18. As a 6-year-old boy was eating his breakfast, he looked up at me. Instantly his jaw dropped open as his face went to a look of shock and curiosity, followed by him intensely inquiring with his wide eyes, "<i>Woah!</i> Did you let someone color on your face with markers?!"<br />
<br />
<div class="tenor-gif-embed" data-aspect-ratio="1.7785714285714287" data-postid="13497339" data-share-method="host" data-width="100%">
<a href="https://tenor.com/view/galo-frito-comedy-show-tiago-cadore-drawing-on-the-face-draw-on-face-gif-13497339">Galo Frito Comedy Show GIF</a> from <a href="https://tenor.com/search/galofrito-gifs">Galofrito GIFs</a></div>
<br />
<script async="" src="https://tenor.com/embed.js" type="text/javascript"></script>
19. After explaining I was born with my birthmark, a child asked me, "You were born with it?"<br />
<br />
Then looking even more confused, the child continued, "Wait...<i>You were a baby?"</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="368" src="https://giphy.com/embed/Tp68DIHra3xHG" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/lindsay-lohan-teen-vogue-cady-heron-Tp68DIHra3xHG">via GIPHY</a><br />
<i><br /></i>
20. "I saw this thing on TV that could help you."<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://giphy.com/embed/pInmR39BqXMm4" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/night-infomercial-tonight-pInmR39BqXMm4">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
21. <b>First Grader:</b> "You've <i>still</i> got that<i> old</i> birthmark?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/DZKTbSdli7iPqP5OpB" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/cbc-funny-comedy-DZKTbSdli7iPqP5OpB">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
22. <b>Fourth Grade Girl: </b>"Were you kissed by an angel?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="456" src="https://giphy.com/embed/PQKlfexeEpnTq" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/heart-kristen-bell-PQKlfexeEpnTq">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
23. <b>Child:</b> "How do you shower?"<br />
<b>Me: </b>"Just like you and just like everyone else showers."<br />
<b>Child:</b> "Even with that thing on your face?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="268" src="https://giphy.com/embed/8uRt6cfPNPThK" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/huh-idgi-idontgetit-8uRt6cfPNPThK">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
24. "Can I get one?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="259" src="https://giphy.com/embed/z2D26GunfUK1W" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/friday-shopping-cons-z2D26GunfUK1W">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
25. <b>Second Grader:</b> "Do you know what color your body is?"<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="giphy-embed" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://giphy.com/embed/l0Hena49tKTjIa6FG" width="480"></iframe><br />
<a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/cbc-funny-comedy-l0Hena49tKTjIa6FG">via GIPHY</a><br />
<br />
What questions have children asked you? What have those questions looked like? Share in the comments below, or on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick" target="_blank">Facebook page</a>! (Feel free to add a GIF that matches the conversation if you'd like!)<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
<br />Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-84278361311724925752019-05-17T16:58:00.001-07:002019-05-17T17:05:48.366-07:0030 Songs That Have Helped Me on My Journey With a Facial DifferenceIn my 27 years of life, I've travelled to about 13 countries and over half the US states. I've sat on more planes then I can count, been on at least eight cruises, and been on more road trips than I remember.<br />
<br />
...But one thing all these trips have had in common?<br />
<br />
They've all had a good playlist going in the background.<br />
<br />
And my journey with a facial difference? That's no different.<br />
<br />
For me, music is everything.<br />
<br />
In the ups and downs, it's how I worship.<br />
<br />
When there's unbearable hurt and I have no words, I find my heart's cry in the melody.<br />
<br />
If it's a time of rejoicing, it gets me dancing. Celebrating!<br />
<br />
Throughout my life, I've found myself listening to several songs on repeat. This list may seem long to some – but in reality, this is the shortened version. Consider this one my many mixtapes from my collection.<br />
<br />
I hope you enjoy it.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg29Fgy3zJfZaNRwnxy0m4O879hF63gwr_2lcReCirfHJQE4VmSv-eBtzpq2f0ftDFw2ILJ5w3We3zJ2qgSGqpxFSOpf-Z2HgqSLSVk8n4ILDjB93ahj4Yy4V3Q1b58ZzFlAwCG04FrX4Q/s1600/25854C37-9310-4F88-8B38-25D988FF5D0D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg29Fgy3zJfZaNRwnxy0m4O879hF63gwr_2lcReCirfHJQE4VmSv-eBtzpq2f0ftDFw2ILJ5w3We3zJ2qgSGqpxFSOpf-Z2HgqSLSVk8n4ILDjB93ahj4Yy4V3Q1b58ZzFlAwCG04FrX4Q/s640/25854C37-9310-4F88-8B38-25D988FF5D0D.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<h3>
1. "This is Me" by Keala Settle & The Greatest Showman Ensemble</h3>
If you've never heard this song...Wow. You're in for a treat. I've never even seen the movie "The Greatest Showman," yet this song is one of my all-time favorites as someone with a body difference. Anytime I need a boost, or I'm feeling extra confident – this is blaring from my speakers.<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"I'm not scared to be seen<br />I make no apologies, this is me<br />When the sharpest words wanna cut me down<br />I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out<br />I'm gonna send a flood<br />Gonna drown them out<br />Oh<br />This is me"</i></blockquote>
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<h3>
2. "Scars To Your Beautiful" by Alessia Cara</h3>
There's so much truth in this one line, "And you don't have to change a thing, the world could change its heart."<br />
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<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
3. "Wonderfully Made" by Ellie Holcomb</h3>
<div style="font-weight: normal;">
Ellie Holcomb is one of my favorite artists, and this song? Oh, it speaks to my soul. </div>
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4. "The Champion" by Carrie Underwood</h3>
Want fierce? Download this song, and hit repeat.<br />
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<i>"I am invincible, unbreakable<br />Unstoppable, unshakeable<br />They knock me down, I get up again<br />I am the champion"</i></blockquote>
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YES. QUEEN.<br />
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5. "Rise Up" by Andra Day</h3>
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Sometimes, when we're "broken down and tired," we need the inspiration to rise up. When there's another surgery on the calendar, another MRI, another diagnosis – this song is here to help us do just that. When someone stares, or calls us another name – this song reminds us to rise up unafraid once more.<br />
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6. "Good Day" by <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/01/god-sized-dreams-sharing-stage-with.html" target="_blank">Natalie Grant</a></h3>
While reminding Christians to keep their eyes on God regardless of what comes, this song is also fun and upbeat. So on the days where I need a good boost – this is a good reminder to keep my eyes on God...While having a little dance party to boot.<br />
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And, regardless of what comes my way, today <i>will</i> be a good day.<br />
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7. "Head Above Water" by Avril Lavigne</h3>
Sometimes all the medical stuff and unkindness of the world seems too much. At times, it can feel hard to keep our heads above the depth of life's water. If that's where you're at today, take a listen to Avril's song.<br />
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8. "Me Too" by Meghan Trainer </h3>
All too often I'm told I should hide my natural appearance. That I should cover my birthmark with makeup, or go see a doctor who can "fix that." If only I could break out into song every time comments like that are made, because then I'd sing songs like this one as a response.<br />
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9."Beyond the Stain" by Denise Nicholes</h3>
A few years ago, my friend wrote a song about my journey with a port wine stain birthmark. While it was written in honor of my story, I know I'm not the only one who can relate to the song.<br />
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10. "Priceless" by for KING & COUNTRY</h3>
<i>"Mirror, mirror, mirror on the wall</i><br />
<i>Tellin' those lies, pointing out your flaws</i><br />
<i>That isn't who you are</i><br />
<i>That isn't who you are"</i><br />
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Sometimes we all need the reminder that the mirror can and does lie, and sometimes we use the everyday object as a tool harm ourselves.<br />
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11. "Mean" by Taylor Swift</h3>
We all have those people in our lives who are unkind. Cruel. Mean. And sometimes those <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/06/to-man-who-turned-me-into-meme.html" target="_blank">people are strangers</a>, a classmate, a coworker, or family member.<br />
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But this song? It reminds us that while they're mean, we can still overcome. That in the midst of their humiliation and "words like knives" – the cycle can end with us. <br />
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It can be so easy to take out hurt out on others, or even the one who started the unkindness. But the cycle? It can end. And I promise...we can overcome.<br />
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12. "Fighter" by Jamie Grace</h3>
If you're fire feels like it's starting to fade away, listen to this song.<br />
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<i>"She's a fighter, got that fire</i><i>When you thought she'd fade away"</i></blockquote>
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13. "Most People Are Good" by Luke Bryan</h3>
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This song isn't necessarily about bullying or overcoming. But, because so often many of us experience so much unkindness, I felt it was important to drop this song in here to remind us of one thing:</div>
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<i>"Most people are good"</i></blockquote>
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For every unkind person we run into, there's at least two or three kind people around the corner waiting to meet you. </div>
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They're out there.</div>
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I promise.</div>
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14. "Rescue" by Lauren Daigle</h3>
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Really, you should just listen to Lauren's whole album. But this song? This song is everything. And the chorus? Wowzers. What a reminder that we're not alone, and that God even hears our whispers of desperations.</div>
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<i>"I will send out an army to find you</i><br />
<i>In the middle of the darkest night</i><br />
<i>It's true, I will rescue you</i><br />
<i>I will never stop marching to reach you</i><br />
<i>In the middle of the hardest fight</i><br />
<i>It's true, I will rescue you"</i></blockquote>
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15. "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson</h3>
Sometimes it can feel like the whole world needs to change how they see people who are "different." They need to treat the disabled better. They need to be kinder to people who have a body difference, they need to be more accepting. They need to stop staring. Stop with the names. Make better accommodations. Be more i<a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2015/05/dear-hollywood-were-heroes-too.html" target="_blank">nclusive in the media</a>.<br />
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While that's all true – sometimes we still need to hit pause on our advocacy work and look in the mirror. Yes, the world can do better. But how can <i>we</i> do better? How can <i>we</i> be kinder? How can <i>we </i>make the world a better place? How can <i>we</i> become better people?<br />
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The world...Man. It has a long ways to go, especially around disability and physical differences. But we should <i>all</i> constantly challenge ourselves to become better, to do better.<br />
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16. "Speak Life" by Toby Mac</h3>
It's not always easy, but we need to remember to speak life. We need to speak life to ourselves, to each other. We need to speak words of love and hope to our family, friends, our bullies and our enemies. Speak life – your words matter!<br />
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17. "Life's About to Get Good" by Shania Twain</h3>
Life isn't always easy. And yes, life has pain...Both physical and emotional. But don't forget – life also has joy. If you're in the hard parts of life, it's so important to hold on to hope.<br />
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18. "Pretty Hurts" Beyonce</h3>
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Regardless of what the world says you should be – are you happy with yourself? Sometimes we all need a reminder to hit pause on the outside world and ignore what the world is saying, and ask ourselves how we're feeling instead - because sometimes, "it's the soul that needs surgery." Not our bodies.</div>
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19. "Try" by Colbie Cailat</h3>
Manicures and pedicures.<br />
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Blowouts and covering the grey strands.<br />
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Covering our scars, birthmarks, and what the world sees as a "flaw." What they call "imperfections."<br />
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Having the "perfect" image in the mirror. On Instagram.<br />
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<i>...Do they like us?</i><br />
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We don't have to try so hard.<br />
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Really, we don't.<br />
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20. "Invisible" by Hunter Hayes</h3>
Do you feel invisible lately? Are you in pain from the sticks and stones that have been thrown your way? Maybe you need this reminder right now.<br />
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21. "Roar" by Katy Perry</h3>
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Your'e a champion. And I can't wait for the day when people hear you roar.</div>
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22. "Who You Are" by Jessie J</h3>
There are so many powerful lines in this song. So much truth.<br />
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First off, Jessie points out bluntly that it's "okay not to be okay." And that alone is a beautiful thing. Because so often we feel we have to show that we are okay, when really, we're not. We we feel we have to show we're strong. That we can handle anything – the new nickname at school, the new bully, the new surgery the doctor wants to try. The new medication. But it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to be scared, to be sad. But please find someone to share your feelings with, someone to talk to.<br />
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Another line I love?<br />
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<i>"Losing my mind on a tiny error. </i><i>I nearly left the real me on the shelf."</i></blockquote>
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Please never, ever, leave yourself on the shelf because of what you see as an "imprecation," or an "error." Please always dare to dream, and dare to chase those dreams – living your best life in the process.<br />
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23. "Shake it Off" by Taylor Swift</h3>
Are you having a hard time with a new harsh comment or cruel name someone has called you? Ugh. I get it. I've totally been there...And it's hard not to stay there.<br />
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So crank up this song and <i>DANCE</i>. Shake. It. Off.<br />
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It may not totally solve your problem, and you may still have a lot of healing left to do from the situation you're in...But doesn't a little dance party make the process <i>a little</i> more fun?<br />
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24. "Clay" by Grace VanderWaal</h3>
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If you've been hearing a lot of negative comments surrounding your body difference, disability, or illness lately, this is for you. </div>
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The analogy of this song is a beautiful one:</div>
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<i>"Try to change my shape<br />But, baby, I'm not clay<br />Sorry, not today<br />'Cause, baby, I'm not clay"</i></blockquote>
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25. "We All Bleed the Same" by Mandisa (Ft. ft. TobyMac & Kirk Franklin)</h3>
From every race, to every disability. From every language, to every illness. We all <i>bleed the same.</i><br />
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26. "Brave" by Sara Bareilles</h3>
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<i>Brave.</i></div>
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Everyone's brave looks different. And if you need an extra dose of brave today, this song is for you.</div>
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This song is for the woman wiping off her makeup to show her friend her birthmark after years of friendship, or posting that makeup free selfie online for all her followers to see for the first time – showing the world her facial difference.</div>
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It's for the one who wants to say yes to a new medication, a new surgery.</div>
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Or even the one who wants to try to befriend their bully.</div>
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For some, it's going on that first date – not knowing how that girl will react to your body difference.</div>
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Maybe a high school graduate wants to go to college, but they don't know if they can handle a medically complex life with college life. But they want to try anyway.</div>
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<i>Brave.</i></div>
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We're all brave.</div>
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And we all need this song.</div>
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27. "Even Louder" by Steven Malcolm (ft. Natalie Grant)</h3>
Life with a facial difference? For me, it has been an up and down journey. There have been times of happiness and sorrow. Pain and celebration. But, <i>"Even if the drums stop beating, my soul will keep on singing. Even louder, even louder."</i><br />
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28. "Defying Gravity" by Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel</h3>
Sometimes we just have to defy gravity, to defy people's expectations they've put on our lives. And this is the perfect song to do that too.<br />
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29. "ME!" Taylor Swift</h3>
Because you're the only one of you – regardless of your medical condition. You're irreplaceable.<br />
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30. "It Is Well (You Make Me Brave)" by Kristene DiMarco & Bethel</h3>
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This song is my go-to before every single surgery, no matter how big or small.</div>
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Why? </div>
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Because through it all – medically, emotionally and socially – my eyes are on You. And it is well.</div>
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What songs are on your mixtape?<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
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<br />Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-935569449369314182019-05-09T13:41:00.000-07:002019-05-09T15:03:12.469-07:009 People to Follow on Social Media With Port Wine Stain BirthmarksJust like the world, the Internet is a big place.<br />
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And if you're anything like me – born with a port wine stain birthmark, or a similar condition – you're constantly trying to find new people on social media to follow who look just like you. People who can relate to you.<br />
<br />
But because only <a href="https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/port-wine-stain-birthmarks" target="_blank">three in 1,000 are born</a> with a port wine stain and not all are in plain site (either by the person's choice or by where it is located), sometimes it can be hard to find new friends who understand the journey you've been on.<br />
<br />
Friends who can understand the stares you've encountered.<br />
<br />
The comments you've heard.<br />
<br />
The stories you have to tell.<br />
<br />
...And we all need those people – even if we don't know them personally. Even if it means that we see their photo and we instantly remember, <i>"I'm not the only one."</i><br />
<br />
Several weeks ago I did a call-out to see who you follow on social media that lives with a vascular birthmark of any kind. Since May is Vascular Birthmarks Awareness Month, it seems like it's now the perfect time to share the list with you!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtR4Imfj7AjhQAESIv1VN1SHsYNYEw9VzSQIw3CWhcCIyM4i64hdXNZw2ZDsHwPrqt1DyhcIUElQL0_YbtoJjtPa-dC-2UlHLnqzpQ-kLo42bbcIPkQIE2z8QX_ls8VVZ_b-9BE_Dhtss/s1600/8D26C1C1-3059-4612-8F60-8FD9BE0C5B7D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtR4Imfj7AjhQAESIv1VN1SHsYNYEw9VzSQIw3CWhcCIyM4i64hdXNZw2ZDsHwPrqt1DyhcIUElQL0_YbtoJjtPa-dC-2UlHLnqzpQ-kLo42bbcIPkQIE2z8QX_ls8VVZ_b-9BE_Dhtss/s320/8D26C1C1-3059-4612-8F60-8FD9BE0C5B7D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can follow me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thetravelin_chick/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5yesLcsLkg&t=8s" target="_blank">YouTube</a> and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick/?eid=ARBOkTGIP8Hen0Vgc-ubadwQS-_B34jAf0r0V3o5XrUMUwrdnH7Csmfu2p7La1hHWzN2t7nwccx8QJcE" target="_blank">Facebook</a>.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This list has nine beautiful people on it. Some are everyday people, some are more well-known, and some are extra famous.<br />
<br />
Some let their birthmark show all day every day, and some use makeup to enhance the mark in creative ways. And from time to time, a few of them choose to completely cover the purple hue, while picking other moments to let it shine.<br />
<br />
Some have undergone medical treatments and some still go in for their laser treatments and glaucoma checks.<br />
<br />
Many on this list sometimes forget about their birthmarks, some can't forget.<br />
<br />
<i>Bullying.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Staring.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Harsh comments.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Medical treatments.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Sturge-Weber syndrome.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome.</i><br />
<br />
Each of their stories are similar, yet each other their stories are so different.<br />
<br />
But guys...<br />
<br />
I need you to remember something.<br />
<br />
As you read this list and as you go out in public, hearing those comments, trying to ignore the stares...<br />
<br />
<i>You're not the only one.</i><br />
<br />
You're not alone.<br />
<br />
<h2>
1. Paige Billiot</h2>
Paige is an actress and model living in the LA area. Living with her birthmark, she sees it as a tool of creativity. She's constantly doing unique makeup designs and photoshoots featuring her birthmark – and she often <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bi0OTNkhNxw/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link" target="_blank">includes others</a> in some of her projects. You can find a makeup video she created with Buzzefeed to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTohtoioh48" target="_blank">highlight her birthmark here</a>.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Baeioz6BFsG/" style="background: #FFFFFF; line-height: 0; padding: 0 0; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank">
</a> <br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Baeioz6BFsG/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Friday's are for rebels. *Punk Rebel* We don't have time to blend in and follow the rules. Stand out, be wrong, live bold, be a REBEL. Shot by @km2creative hair by @_taylorbennett wardrobe stylist @last__looks and makeup/rebel feels by @mika.caviola</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/flawless_affect/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Paige Lauren Billiot</a> (@flawless_affect) on <time datetime="2017-10-20T16:52:23+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Oct 20, 2017 at 9:52am PDT</time></div>
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<br />
<br />
<h2>
2. Amy Elsegood
</h2>
Depending on the day, Amy is found sharing pictures of herself flaunting her birthmark, other days she's showing photos of herself looking glamorous with makeup. Whenever she shares about her birthmark, she always gets vulnerable in the most beautiful and relatable way. And while Paige shows the more creative mashup for when a birthmark and makeup come together, Amy has been known to do <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FLUmaiatwc" target="_blank">makeup tutorials</a> for everyday looks.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BuZXvkXFSZO/" style="background: #FFFFFF; line-height: 0; padding: 0 0; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank">
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BuZXvkXFSZO/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The struggles and self confidence issues that you face when you’re single and you have something that makes you slightly different to the rest is difficult. Imagine that feeling of taking your make up off in front of someone new for the first time or getting on with someone and having that worry that once they find out you have a birthmark they will no longer be interested because you are not the ‘perfect girl’ Sorry for the imperfect Instagram post but I just wanted to show the reality and I know that there will be many other girls out there that feel or have felt the same! Girls should empower each other. Always be kind and remember what makes you different is your barrier against unthoughtful and unaccepting people. 🙌🏼✌🏼💋 (p.s. apologies for the Kat Slater dressing gown 🤣🙈) • • • • #birthmark #awareness #inspire #portwinestain #pws #bblogger #beauty #instaglam #nomakeup #natural #fbl #different #beautygram #makeuplove #makeupblog #fbl #selfie #girlpower #powerofmakeup #strong #beforeandafter #hudabeauty #makeup #makeupaddict #makeuplover #blogger #bbloggeruk #instabeauty #motd #reality #lashes</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/amyelsegood/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> 🌸 Amy Elsegood 🌸</a> (@amyelsegood) on <time datetime="2019-02-27T19:08:52+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 27, 2019 at 11:08am PST</time></div>
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<h2>
3. Ed Sheeran</h2>
<div>
Did you know <a href="https://www.instagram.com/teddysphotos/" target="_blank">Ed Sheeran</a> is part of the birthmark buddy group? I didn't either!...At least, not until last year, when I saw this video. Because of a laser treatment for his port wine stain where the doctors forgot to use anesthetics, Ed quickly began to struggle with a struggle with a stutter. And that stutter? That lead him to music.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/CTufwCG8Xeg/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CTufwCG8Xeg?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<h2>
4. Andrea Dykes
</h2>
I recently stumbled across Andrea's Instagram, and man...She's a beauty! She's a pro with the makeup, but doesn't mind letting her natural beauty shine.<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BtUns3QBO2u/" style="background: #FFFFFF; line-height: 0; padding: 0 0; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank"><svg height="50px" version="1.1" viewbox="0 0 60 60" width="50px" xmlns:xlink="https://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xmlns="https://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g fill-rule="evenodd" fill="none" stroke-width="1" stroke="none"><g fill="#000000" transform="translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)"><g><path d="M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631"></path></g></g></g></svg></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BtUns3QBO2u/" style="background: #FFFFFF; line-height: 0; padding: 0 0; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank">
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<div style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;">
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BtUns3QBO2u/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">So one day I was doing a clients makeup 👩🏽🎨 and she said to me “I just love that you don’t cover it up” me: (in my head )🤔 cover what up?! Ooh.... yea nooo 😏 i did once and I didn’t like it 🙅🏽♀️ I didn’t feel like me when I did 🤷🏽♀️ felt off ... client: GOOD ITS BEAUTIFUL!!! What’s makes you... YOU!! I’ve never been ashamed of it, 💁🏽♀️ ima always embraced it 💯 #birthmarkbeauty #birthmarkgang #africashape #differentisbeautiful #uniquelyimperfect #nevuslove</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/bbd.mua/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> andrea dykes</a> (@bbd.mua) on <time datetime="2019-02-01T02:20:42+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Jan 31, 2019 at 6:20pm PST</time></div>
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</blockquote>
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<h2>
5. Patience Hodgson</h2>
Lead singer of Australian band The Grates, Patience Hodgson, has a port wine stain birthmark on her arm. Patience sees her birthmark <a href="http://www.natmccomas.com/in-this-skin" target="_blank">like a protective barrier</a>, “I love my birthmark’s spectrum of color. When I’m warm it’s a kind of red-purple, like the colour of some plums and when I’m cold it’s a vivid, almost neon blue. I also like how it’s a kind of protective barrier protecting me against non-accepting and unthoughtful people.”<br />
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<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/ztqWwTSItD/" data-instgrm-version="12" style="background: #fff; border-radius: 3px; border: 0; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.5) , 0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: 99.375%;">
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/ztqWwTSItD/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Oh wow it's @vsco introducing Natalie McComas (@natmccomas) !!! ✨❤️🎈 Looking to help others celebrate and accept their unique traits, Natalie’s Artist Initiative project will share the stories of individuals with birthmarks, offering insights into their stories, their heartaches, and their desires. vsco.it/1LDxskK #ArtistInitiative 💕 RAD 💕</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/paehoddy/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Patience Hodgson</a> (@paehoddy) on <time datetime="2015-03-02T05:24:03+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Mar 1, 2015 at 9:24pm PST</time></div>
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<h2>
6. Danny Larious
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Danny is all about fitness, travel, and sharing about his journey with his birthmark that he totally rocks. Within his beautiful photos, he shares about his everyday life while proudly also sharing about his birthmark in the process.<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BfwDAImjiIA/" style="background: #FFFFFF; line-height: 0; padding: 0 0; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank"><svg height="50px" version="1.1" viewbox="0 0 60 60" width="50px" xmlns:xlink="https://www.w3.org/1999/xlink" xmlns="https://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g fill-rule="evenodd" fill="none" stroke-width="1" stroke="none"><g fill="#000000" transform="translate(-511.000000, -20.000000)"><g><path d="M556.869,30.41 C554.814,30.41 553.148,32.076 553.148,34.131 C553.148,36.186 554.814,37.852 556.869,37.852 C558.924,37.852 560.59,36.186 560.59,34.131 C560.59,32.076 558.924,30.41 556.869,30.41 M541,60.657 C535.114,60.657 530.342,55.887 530.342,50 C530.342,44.114 535.114,39.342 541,39.342 C546.887,39.342 551.658,44.114 551.658,50 C551.658,55.887 546.887,60.657 541,60.657 M541,33.886 C532.1,33.886 524.886,41.1 524.886,50 C524.886,58.899 532.1,66.113 541,66.113 C549.9,66.113 557.115,58.899 557.115,50 C557.115,41.1 549.9,33.886 541,33.886 M565.378,62.101 C565.244,65.022 564.756,66.606 564.346,67.663 C563.803,69.06 563.154,70.057 562.106,71.106 C561.058,72.155 560.06,72.803 558.662,73.347 C557.607,73.757 556.021,74.244 553.102,74.378 C549.944,74.521 548.997,74.552 541,74.552 C533.003,74.552 532.056,74.521 528.898,74.378 C525.979,74.244 524.393,73.757 523.338,73.347 C521.94,72.803 520.942,72.155 519.894,71.106 C518.846,70.057 518.197,69.06 517.654,67.663 C517.244,66.606 516.755,65.022 516.623,62.101 C516.479,58.943 516.448,57.996 516.448,50 C516.448,42.003 516.479,41.056 516.623,37.899 C516.755,34.978 517.244,33.391 517.654,32.338 C518.197,30.938 518.846,29.942 519.894,28.894 C520.942,27.846 521.94,27.196 523.338,26.654 C524.393,26.244 525.979,25.756 528.898,25.623 C532.057,25.479 533.004,25.448 541,25.448 C548.997,25.448 549.943,25.479 553.102,25.623 C556.021,25.756 557.607,26.244 558.662,26.654 C560.06,27.196 561.058,27.846 562.106,28.894 C563.154,29.942 563.803,30.938 564.346,32.338 C564.756,33.391 565.244,34.978 565.378,37.899 C565.522,41.056 565.552,42.003 565.552,50 C565.552,57.996 565.522,58.943 565.378,62.101 M570.82,37.631 C570.674,34.438 570.167,32.258 569.425,30.349 C568.659,28.377 567.633,26.702 565.965,25.035 C564.297,23.368 562.623,22.342 560.652,21.575 C558.743,20.834 556.562,20.326 553.369,20.18 C550.169,20.033 549.148,20 541,20 C532.853,20 531.831,20.033 528.631,20.18 C525.438,20.326 523.257,20.834 521.349,21.575 C519.376,22.342 517.703,23.368 516.035,25.035 C514.368,26.702 513.342,28.377 512.574,30.349 C511.834,32.258 511.326,34.438 511.181,37.631 C511.035,40.831 511,41.851 511,50 C511,58.147 511.035,59.17 511.181,62.369 C511.326,65.562 511.834,67.743 512.574,69.651 C513.342,71.625 514.368,73.296 516.035,74.965 C517.703,76.634 519.376,77.658 521.349,78.425 C523.257,79.167 525.438,79.673 528.631,79.82 C531.831,79.965 532.853,80.001 541,80.001 C549.148,80.001 550.169,79.965 553.369,79.82 C556.562,79.673 558.743,79.167 560.652,78.425 C562.623,77.658 564.297,76.634 565.965,74.965 C567.633,73.296 568.659,71.625 569.425,69.651 C570.167,67.743 570.674,65.562 570.82,62.369 C570.966,59.17 571,58.147 571,50 C571,41.851 570.966,40.831 570.82,37.631"></path></g></g></g></svg></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BfwDAImjiIA/" style="background: #FFFFFF; line-height: 0; padding: 0 0; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank">
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BfwDAImjiIA/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">This is a portwinestain birthmark. It’s not contagious. We can swim in the same swimming pool. And my mom didn’t do drugs when she was pregnant with me this is just how I was born. 👶🏼 I’m lucky not to have too many complications with it that I hardly think of it as a disease but it is. Today’s #nationalrarediseaseday so I’d like to contribute to all the special people with rare diseases in the social media world. You are not alone. ✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽. . . . Portwine stains are more than just skin deep. It is a disease that affects the brain, organ and blood vessels. People are born with vascular anomalies that can worsen as they grow older. They require constant monitoring, laser treatments and sometimes surgery. There is no cure for vascular birthmarks. Many adults and children living with these birthmarks also experience frequent seizures and glaucoma. Today is rare disease day. Here is a picture of one kind of birthmark. If you search Instagram you'll find birthmarks with moles, some smooth, some hairy, some dark some light. They are as diverse as the people they live on. No matter what kind of birthmark or disease you have. Live. Live you're life in pursuit of happiness 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 and be kind 😁😁😁😁 to all. Resist the urge to stare rudely at someone who looks different and instead say hello. Or if you are curious, ask about it politely. 🙏🏼✌🏻✌🏿✌🏾✌🏼✌🏽 #rarediseaseday #portwinestain #sturgewebersyndrome #birthmark #klippeltrenaunaysyndrome #iwasbornthisway #smile #fitfam #socialmedia #humpday #awareness #vascularbirthmark</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/dannypws_fit/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Portwinestained And Fit</a> (@dannypws_fit) on <time datetime="2018-02-28T18:39:14+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 28, 2018 at 10:39am PST</time></div>
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<h2>
7. Berlange
</h2>
My sweet friend, Berlange is a model living with a vascular birthmark – which also causes a rare condition known as <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/klippel-trenaunay/symptoms-causes/syc-20374152" target="_blank">Klippel-Trenaunay syndrome</a> (KTS) in her leg. Her condition can cause all the typical symptoms a port wine stain birthmark can cause, like thickening of the skin, bleeding, and blebs. But with KTS, chronic pain can also be involved, and the bones can also be affected – just to name a few. While Berlange shares her beauty with the world, she also raises awareness for her conditions...while inspiriting the world in the process!<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxArcxdltE7/" style="background: #FFFFFF; line-height: 0; padding: 0 0; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; width: 100%;" target="_blank">
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxArcxdltE7/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">How about instead of focusing on trying to be perfect, reaching the unattainable summit.. we allow ourselves to be imperfect? How about we celebrate "imperfection"? "Imperfection" is actually the truth of beauty. Revive your light• Share your stripes• Bare your marks • • • • 📸 @osatoerebor MUA @malvarosebeauty Styling @livemylifed #BerlangeStory #BeRevealed #bestfootforward #bareyourbirthmark #kts #pws #perfectimperfections #redefiningbeauty #morethanamodel #milliondollarleg #breakthestigma #blackgirlmagic #underneathiam #comfortableinmyskin #embraceyourself #awarenessiskey #loveyourself #borndifferent #shareyourcolors #goddess #shinonegirl #differentisbeautiful #lavawalk #daretobare #untoldstories #fanmlakay #nolongersilent #pws #bareyourbirthmark #wlyg #lovetheskinyourein</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/bellenge/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Berlange Presilus</a> (@bellenge) on <time datetime="2019-05-03T18:34:14+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">May 3, 2019 at 11:34am PDT</time></div>
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<h2>
8. Hannah Storm
</h2>
Hannah Storm lives with a port wine stain. In the third grade, insecurity hit. As a result, she started going through a variety of painful medical treatments that left her with scares, in hopes of removal. Since then? She's learned about the improved and recommended treatments – and she's using her knowledge of vascular birthmarks to help others. As an adult with more information and resources, she's now helping other children get the medical care and surgeries they need for their birthmarks through what is now known as the Hannah Storm Foundation. To read more of Hannah's story in her own words, and to learn about her foundation, you can <a href="https://hannahstormfoundation.org/hannah-storm/" target="_blank">find that here</a>.<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BvorPqznvhe/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Accused by some today (ahem!) of wearing @dukembb blue.. but I swear it’s just happy coincidence. My #tournamentchallenge champ is still alive, livin’ on a prayer!</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/espnhannahstorm/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Hannah Storm</a> (@espnhannahstorm) on <time datetime="2019-03-30T14:19:16+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Mar 30, 2019 at 7:19am PDT</time></div>
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<h2>
9. Michelle Branch
</h2>
While you can't see her birthmark in every photo, occasionally you can find this well-known singer's port wine stain under her right eye and above her lip. Occasionally she even brings awareness to the topic on <a href="https://twitter.com/michellebranch/status/672263203867353089?lang=en" target="_blank">Twitter</a> and on Instagram, and once on <a href="https://wearealluncool.tumblr.com/post/113086618104/michellebranch-1-i-was-teased-growing-up-about" target="_blank">Tumblr she shared</a>, "I was teased growing up about the port wine stain birthmark I have under my right eye. Even to this day if I’m recognized when I don’t have makeup covering it, it makes me tremendously uncomfortable. I know I shouldn’t care about what people think but…surprise!"<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BXYp3n4gGAl/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Random note: I have a port wine stain birthmark under my right eye and above my lip. Depending on how I feel, sometimes I cover it, sometimes I don't. If you see me out and about without makeup please don't say, "oh my God! What happened to your face?!" 😒😂 #truestory #facepalm</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/michellebranch/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> Michelle Branch</a> (@michellebranch) on <time datetime="2017-08-04T20:25:56+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Aug 4, 2017 at 1:25pm PDT</time></div>
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I know the list can be much longer. In reality, this is just a sample size of many more amazing people.<br />
<br />
If you have anyone you'd like to add to my list – <a href="http://www.crystalhodges.com/contact.html" target="_blank">feel free to email me</a> or leave a recommendation in the comments here on my blog. In the future, maybe I can write up a part two!<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
<script async="" src="//www.instagram.com/embed.js"></script>Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com66tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-9994764921270529222019-05-02T08:20:00.000-07:002019-05-02T09:12:27.381-07:00If You're Worried Your Child With a Body Difference Will Feel 'Different'You have a child who was <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2015/11/10-things-i-want-kids-growing-up-with.html" target="_blank">born with a body difference</a>, maybe even a disability. Or maybe they were born with both.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifLt06P5xmLzsnYGzxCkHdwKP3rguJnX57J9mwcJiLQsXqtXaezjQzcxP_coak12gryyZ-huxIJEgYZhrhiznJaWjndgbyDJl1PFKbJmKts_YwUDSUcIgRFlNn2xk2pqlRx4s-DcosWXc/s1600/47AED6AC-7BEA-4D72-9E66-FCC5387F0AEA.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifLt06P5xmLzsnYGzxCkHdwKP3rguJnX57J9mwcJiLQsXqtXaezjQzcxP_coak12gryyZ-huxIJEgYZhrhiznJaWjndgbyDJl1PFKbJmKts_YwUDSUcIgRFlNn2xk2pqlRx4s-DcosWXc/s400/47AED6AC-7BEA-4D72-9E66-FCC5387F0AEA.JPG" width="400" /></a><i>Doctor's appointments.</i><br />
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<i>Specialists.</i><br />
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<i>A diagnosis – or even several diagnoses.</i><br />
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<i>Medications.</i><br />
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<i>Surgeries.</i><br />
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<i>Pain.</i><br />
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This isn't what you envisioned for your child.<br />
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You introduce your child to the world and you get mixed reviews.<br />
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<i>Joy.</i><br />
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<i>Uncomfortable stares. </i><br />
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<i>Love.</i><br />
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<i>Harsh comments.</i><br />
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Why aren't people more compassionate? Why doesn't the world see your child the way you do?<br />
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Oh sweet moms and dads, I see you. And I hear you.<br />
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"Will <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2013/05/the-stain.html" target="_blank">my child be accepted</a> by the world? Will they always feel different because of their physical difference and medical complexities?"<br />
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Those questions cry from my screen more often than not. And living with a facial difference and medical complexities with rare diseases myself, I hope I can offer a few words of encouragement.<br />
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Born with half a purple face caused by a port wine stain birthmark, and Sturge-Weber syndrome, there was no way to avoid the world's stares and comments. My parents instantly started to hear them the moment they took me home, and as a married 27-year-old, I still hear them today – and so does my husband. They're unavoidable.<br />
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My image was once stolen online and I went <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/08/the-face-that-went-viral.html" target="_blank">viral to 30 million people</a> around the world, and I was cyber bullied as a result. I've been called names. Doctors have <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2015/06/to-nurse-who-thought-i-was-sleeping.html" target="_blank">refused to treat me</a> because my birthmark "got in the way."<br />
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In addition, my difference doesn't just affect my appearance. It affects my bone structure, my teeth and gums, my brain and eye. I've had glaucoma since I was 8 years old and I've had about 53 laser surgeries. Migraines started when I was 6 because of the birthmark's affect on my brain (which is really caused by blood vessels), and I've had a neurologist on-call since. There are gum bleeds, nose bleeds, and root canals.<br />
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My story? My medical condition? Yes, sometimes they're hard. It can be frustrating. And sometimes it's complicated.<br />
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But oh my lanta...Let me tell you.<br />
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My life has been beautiful. It is beautiful.<br />
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Yes, sometimes there is pain. Sometimes there are surgeries and root canals and specialists. Yes, there is fear I may lose my vision one day – and yes, I do take medications for the migraines my condition causes.<br />
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But do I always feel different? No way.<br />
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I mean, I have my moments, don't get me wrong. It's nearly impossible to ignore people staring or making unkind comments about my appearance – even though I have embraced who I am, as I am. But day-to-day? I can and I do forget that I'm "different" than the rest of the world.<br />
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As a child I grew up with a family that treated me just as that...A child. They never treated me any differently just because of a physical difference.<br />
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Yes, they had to take precautions with sun exposure on my face in the summer and they couldn't protect me from the world's hurtful intents. But my childhood wasn't just full of surgeries and eye exams. My photo albums and memories are filled with images of me playing with Barbies, traveling to the family farm in Florida, and swimming every chance I had.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZ_3dBB8ewlrsb1M0vl6HIdMEwhaK7529Wqqp-EORGBsRv_Q-VqZCUXMRQVYTe8l9L_LT9KY0qNnRHVt8T0lNuiEzDvup7Z2zMqLfjXysGA9lRjBG4emFOxe-llAvCv6yl9oWW5isPig/s1600/228829_2256961387355_7131939_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEZ_3dBB8ewlrsb1M0vl6HIdMEwhaK7529Wqqp-EORGBsRv_Q-VqZCUXMRQVYTe8l9L_LT9KY0qNnRHVt8T0lNuiEzDvup7Z2zMqLfjXysGA9lRjBG4emFOxe-llAvCv6yl9oWW5isPig/s400/228829_2256961387355_7131939_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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As a child, I mostly forgot I looked different. I mostly forgot I was medically complex. I would go to the hospital, do my thing, and go home to my life – school, friends, toys, and laughter.<br />
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While sometimes it makes me hit pause, my medical conditions never stopped me from living my life.<br />
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It wasn't until I was 18 years old and in college that I realized my "normal" isn't most people's normal – and even then, it took a really big moment for me to have that light bulb moment. Most people haven't experienced the same medical complexities and surgeries, needing the same surgeries and receiving the same diagnoses at such young ages. And <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2018/07/people-staring-at-facial-difference-GIF-Reactions.html" target="_blank">the stares and comments</a> I get on the regular? Those aren't a part of most people's stories. Yet, it's my normal. It's my childhood, my medical chart. It's my everyday, my story.<br />
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I know everyone's story is different, and I can't speak for everyone with a body difference and/or a disability. I can't tell their future and what their story will write, or what their health journey will hold. That's impossible. All conditions and disabilities affect every body and child differently. But, my hopes are that your child has the same beautiful kind of life I've had.<br />
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I hope they have days, months, years, and seasons where they forget about being "different" because they're living in their normal...A normal filled with love, friendship and laughter – with a few appointments and surgeries sprinkled in-between. And I hope that feeling different doesn’t come until much later, if at all.<br />
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Because at the end of the day, they're a child first. Medically complex second.<br />
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And will your child be accepted by the world?<br />
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In a perfect world, yes. But sadly, we don't live in a perfect world.<br />
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That being said, maybe not by everyone. But that's OK. Your child? They're accepted by you. They're loved by you.<br />
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Keep loving them. Keep encouraging them.<br />
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Don't just focus on their medical charts and upcoming procedures.<br />
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Remember to also invest in their passions and talents. Remember to take them to the family farm in Florida, and to take them swimming every chance they have.<br />
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Make them the very best, well-rounded human they possibly can be.<br />
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Because with your love, your encouragement, and your investment in what makes their hearts sing?<br />
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...How can they not be loved by this world?<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
CrystalCrystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-73410656110801655022019-03-12T12:44:00.000-07:002019-03-12T13:28:49.663-07:00How I Chose to Celebrate My Birthmark on My Wedding Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="text-align: left;">My whole life, I've received comments <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2018/04/reactions-to-facial-difference-GIFS.html" target="_blank">about my facial difference</a> (a birthmark that also causes symmetry issues). Some kind, some not. One recurring comment? That I need to hide it, or get it "fixed" – when in reality, getting it "fixed" is not as simple as most would think.</span></div>
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As my wedding day approached, my excitement naturally increased. As did my plans.</div>
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And then the unavoidable<i> happened.</i></div>
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Someone made a comment, indicating it would be better for me to cover my birthmark for <i>my</i> wedding day.</div>
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<i>"Oh no she didn't,"</i> I thought.</div>
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Being one who has always embraced her appearance, I already had plans. Boy, did I have plans. </div>
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Glam my birthmark with glitter? Check!</div>
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Find a wedding cake topper with a birthmark? Check!</div>
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But this comment? Oh, it made me up my game...and then came a purple fog machine photoshoot idea.</div>
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Because here's the thing...</div>
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No one should ever have to hide their natural appearance that God gave them to make others more comfortable. And makeup? It should be used to enhance the beauty we naturally have – not hide it! </div>
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Have a birthmark? Glam the heck out of it.</div>
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Have freckles? Flaunt them.</div>
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Is your hair curly? Let the curls be free.</div>
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You can even let your creativity partner with your beauty, like I did on my wedding day, and find unique ways to highlight what makes you, well, you!</div>
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You are beautiful. You are one of a kind.</div>
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And no matter what anyone else says, you deserve to feel like a queen. Whether it's your wedding day, or it's your everyday Monday. You deserve to <i>shine</i>.</div>
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Please – never feel less than because of someone else's empty words.</div>
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You, my dear, are beautifully and wonderfully made.</div>
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For me? Honoring my birthmark was so much more than honoring a bit of purple on my skin, and all that goes with it. It meant honoring me and who I am – from the inside out.</div>
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It meant celebrating the day and being myself. It meant adding little touches to the day that fit my personality, from my dress to the wedding favors.</div>
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But more importantly? It meant marrying the man I love – a man who loves me <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2018/06/dating-port-wine-stain-birthmark-laser-treatment.html" target="_blank">just as I am</a>. It meant inviting people I love to celebrate along with us – people who have never asked me to change. People who have never made me feel less than because of how God knit me together.</div>
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Here are some of the photos from our special day.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXKhyphenhyphen7GZpZhyaCq_6U4kld1prTEhK7IKSwrgk1tfttxBRo9Ufv05bTb6IxRSrSAyexM-QHwIpgNEvsjAdTRHksXvJ8uHWouMp2fhuISWX9LUo9PGpJ9mT0ZLvYlYTihlZhdz66HiG5sJs/s1600/RC-771.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXKhyphenhyphen7GZpZhyaCq_6U4kld1prTEhK7IKSwrgk1tfttxBRo9Ufv05bTb6IxRSrSAyexM-QHwIpgNEvsjAdTRHksXvJ8uHWouMp2fhuISWX9LUo9PGpJ9mT0ZLvYlYTihlZhdz66HiG5sJs/s640/RC-771.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">My maid of honor glamming my birthmark with glitter!</span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td><td class="tr-caption"></td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEdxSmNGUSlDvoiu0gZSPgCQjrdixLHufmIeyhS-5z0Gbq8kNfu6PXA_Q9BgzPsSwAtZecWuy1K5NlS1-opziw8ZSFvpZRSYXxyHC6Q_RWtKBDB5RlS8yZ0EE5bRUgwY_3nNixpOkcbhM/s1600/RC-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEdxSmNGUSlDvoiu0gZSPgCQjrdixLHufmIeyhS-5z0Gbq8kNfu6PXA_Q9BgzPsSwAtZecWuy1K5NlS1-opziw8ZSFvpZRSYXxyHC6Q_RWtKBDB5RlS8yZ0EE5bRUgwY_3nNixpOkcbhM/s640/RC-5.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption"><span style="font-size: small;">It was such a sweet surprise to receive a scrapbook from my mom</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">full of letters from people in my life the night before the wedding.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">She even had one for Richard too. I'm not an easy one to move to tears,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">but she got me on this one.</span><br />
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<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></div>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0mrMrbp9OSfS2CK1jTZ1HX_QAUxDmveD6_GT4dDcry5MOr1dZT6WwHt7iB8OeMJ9ecU0CD961TvgouaaheNwYDIzmoKXqJNHneWqiflPByyD_JauQz2DWAxaF6LL2GBDXQyQu-xvygDg/s1600/52877822_2133099600118155_2236236376917934080_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0mrMrbp9OSfS2CK1jTZ1HX_QAUxDmveD6_GT4dDcry5MOr1dZT6WwHt7iB8OeMJ9ecU0CD961TvgouaaheNwYDIzmoKXqJNHneWqiflPByyD_JauQz2DWAxaF6LL2GBDXQyQu-xvygDg/s640/52877822_2133099600118155_2236236376917934080_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption"><i>Photo by my bridesmaid, Anna Forlines.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXRXrrjToCdVD6-Bv7AuV3OLZjAGFoQjglFglD09gRnoVk_v7z_Hzv-5N3SSqnNZDT0rjeJZLkNiuv6sERHjksXkiajcXNPymLCEc_7AK6of5kvrF5EtxVz3j3TKWMHrZFQbcgSxkcTo0/s1600/52462738_324212591565843_3822740903139737600_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXRXrrjToCdVD6-Bv7AuV3OLZjAGFoQjglFglD09gRnoVk_v7z_Hzv-5N3SSqnNZDT0rjeJZLkNiuv6sERHjksXkiajcXNPymLCEc_7AK6of5kvrF5EtxVz3j3TKWMHrZFQbcgSxkcTo0/s640/52462738_324212591565843_3822740903139737600_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;"><i>Photo by my bridesmaid, Anna Forlines.</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF64lykaJkcBdL3sYZaF6sFCpJAfkhRNxaBgG7q_Rm2RxlIIFVwcWWw0PZ2NOj9gM6gQY6t3S-x9DCaT5Vw_rPhCsP6PKIGwhWIY_zIjCoMEyDUZ0B1YbduX848TwpK_8nXQyBL1BpoIM/s1600/RC-77.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF64lykaJkcBdL3sYZaF6sFCpJAfkhRNxaBgG7q_Rm2RxlIIFVwcWWw0PZ2NOj9gM6gQY6t3S-x9DCaT5Vw_rPhCsP6PKIGwhWIY_zIjCoMEyDUZ0B1YbduX848TwpK_8nXQyBL1BpoIM/s640/RC-77.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTbjrV0InIA76C5LGJUB3F6aSsapjXfjpVuU4nW48kPlPlSeRQAMGt5flnxKe25XR76jNln3Asp_yU2O9FcoI3hezKFO6sAALnaJYTAtS-QaR6JVDOW8QI_hyT2AjJ_pCc9PMLIMVIG48/s1600/RC-13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTbjrV0InIA76C5LGJUB3F6aSsapjXfjpVuU4nW48kPlPlSeRQAMGt5flnxKe25XR76jNln3Asp_yU2O9FcoI3hezKFO6sAALnaJYTAtS-QaR6JVDOW8QI_hyT2AjJ_pCc9PMLIMVIG48/s640/RC-13.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI-b0w2GKXwiAnWnJO0JCRsxEPykKrPOgDESVjvSkkMnRfJqCwuP3lWk2roisqSqN1HLrLNJ06jKYeOSwiKDx9CxLKf2zp6oIT46kAs96UGbRWN0WHCHS4V_PSTbFFfNbjO61_lLkwGMw/s1600/RC-18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI-b0w2GKXwiAnWnJO0JCRsxEPykKrPOgDESVjvSkkMnRfJqCwuP3lWk2roisqSqN1HLrLNJ06jKYeOSwiKDx9CxLKf2zp6oIT46kAs96UGbRWN0WHCHS4V_PSTbFFfNbjO61_lLkwGMw/s640/RC-18.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQAZHeDQorxE4WcaqbkDSzhR6ytqobfbZqdbAOfb9L0dBMO-B47gMZXRLKLNZbTC0HsZWkvhiCjsYxuDTCmbi_ap80MIpU-Rhbk5ZhfU41uDWK6Gor5fFpc_fCsbzCub7d7v_Go5_ivvw/s1600/RC-83+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQAZHeDQorxE4WcaqbkDSzhR6ytqobfbZqdbAOfb9L0dBMO-B47gMZXRLKLNZbTC0HsZWkvhiCjsYxuDTCmbi_ap80MIpU-Rhbk5ZhfU41uDWK6Gor5fFpc_fCsbzCub7d7v_Go5_ivvw/s640/RC-83+%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8lBy5wayFKCuaq3McJPhoNEpWEipRvQJyZudAIbbP_24F69SPHGpsJwc6QfanfXSieuaU03scnnMg7zLzR-ipp0gPYn5X4HX-1y40sy0q8zPexI54TAk5XIBY7b73h3rSaEmZnkJyMtg/s1600/RC-89+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8lBy5wayFKCuaq3McJPhoNEpWEipRvQJyZudAIbbP_24F69SPHGpsJwc6QfanfXSieuaU03scnnMg7zLzR-ipp0gPYn5X4HX-1y40sy0q8zPexI54TAk5XIBY7b73h3rSaEmZnkJyMtg/s640/RC-89+%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNRZr9KIFlHyCXcCgX9M2q1hAuDjxD2vYIi0l4MeCjVYNKakGGZ_fy1HdOS-PXFNhtB13Y8qC7jFw4D-fEhsCSK2vesWgKdzH1OLO0-i-MGTXOz6dL3TFHJSRXo2eQFw1nvBObXzlVwls/s1600/RC-146.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNRZr9KIFlHyCXcCgX9M2q1hAuDjxD2vYIi0l4MeCjVYNKakGGZ_fy1HdOS-PXFNhtB13Y8qC7jFw4D-fEhsCSK2vesWgKdzH1OLO0-i-MGTXOz6dL3TFHJSRXo2eQFw1nvBObXzlVwls/s640/RC-146.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Seeing myself in my gown, wedding ready, for the first time.</span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td><td class="tr-caption"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsfFeiDPzQV7hVlqsbsOsO2zXlwUjTT_T0oY96Dqu_eHTrgBX_v9O871CKp3mnnEjkeL4MDRjfbv50O15CRBr7Y6ArPCTQ9-jOJTCvQIKUqaW6BRAFX6hvlCorUszKtUXKEQgtNRW756g/s1600/RC-357.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsfFeiDPzQV7hVlqsbsOsO2zXlwUjTT_T0oY96Dqu_eHTrgBX_v9O871CKp3mnnEjkeL4MDRjfbv50O15CRBr7Y6ArPCTQ9-jOJTCvQIKUqaW6BRAFX6hvlCorUszKtUXKEQgtNRW756g/s640/RC-357.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our wedding was vintaged theme. And both my mom and grandmother saved their</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">wedding dresses, but neither my sister or I used either one. So, I chose to display</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">them both – honoring the heritage of their marriages and the examples</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">of their love. Each dress has a photo of their wedding next</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">to the dress, and my mom's has her veil next to hers.</span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoD9mIyUC3aZxoM8iENH_ikNsy63zdS0kXAdMep7QNYb8XeLm-dhOFz1P7Zl2i9dBJtHD7cyIJlP4geo89UhHgkjOMgPHIf5fv0yeDFKfVsNgtUrdq4X_DgNL0hVImOFeBm29-UlXCHew/s1600/RC-401.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoD9mIyUC3aZxoM8iENH_ikNsy63zdS0kXAdMep7QNYb8XeLm-dhOFz1P7Zl2i9dBJtHD7cyIJlP4geo89UhHgkjOMgPHIf5fv0yeDFKfVsNgtUrdq4X_DgNL0hVImOFeBm29-UlXCHew/s640/RC-401.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Married to the <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2019/03/i-had-a-pop-up-wedding.html" target="_blank">man of my life, again.</a></span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCXeDu2HkfM_m4W8UKQE3HbzyDqa37X_sBuexy82PZRKvPLv4nhLXP9BymtHsqlIodTEu_LYec8FMx7iareoVTOgiPvpP0V4MHDnua_nloIBPXskPPBlYjBS757HWbnuMHUIFi-pIoMYI/s1600/RC-439.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCXeDu2HkfM_m4W8UKQE3HbzyDqa37X_sBuexy82PZRKvPLv4nhLXP9BymtHsqlIodTEu_LYec8FMx7iareoVTOgiPvpP0V4MHDnua_nloIBPXskPPBlYjBS757HWbnuMHUIFi-pIoMYI/s640/RC-439.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our wedding cake topper! But instead of cake, we had donuts.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">It took weeks to find this cake topper option. When I Googled "wedding cake</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">toppers with birthmarks," I got naked mole rats with veils and top hats. Then my</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">friend recommended me to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/littleclayland/?hl=en" target="_blank">Little Clay Land </a>on Instagram. And oh my lanta, am</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I so glad. You can also visit her website <a href="https://www.littleclayland.com/shop" target="_blank">directly here</a><a href="http://./">.</a></span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWMuxMBhghp8dtCVet9TctvSg-WtA1DfYKL8aC0_nDpk-AlNAORCQAsOwUOPWsgCdaTfDfRzlF7EUDraXcKa4MXcCqFU4TqF2pQ8vpTg-oDJmD5OwNVHdx07y9D1F7zLk8fYY-70ZNjwU/s1600/IMG_5884.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWMuxMBhghp8dtCVet9TctvSg-WtA1DfYKL8aC0_nDpk-AlNAORCQAsOwUOPWsgCdaTfDfRzlF7EUDraXcKa4MXcCqFU4TqF2pQ8vpTg-oDJmD5OwNVHdx07y9D1F7zLk8fYY-70ZNjwU/s640/IMG_5884.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not only did Laura include my birthmark in my cake topper,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">but Richard's bowtie matches my birthmark. And there's <i>glitter</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">on my birthmark.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Also, each tile in the mosaic behind my cake topper was painted</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">at my bridal shower!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<i>(Photo by my friend Naomi!)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlyb83cJEfQ1evJg97VDNrs7d5HLBuenhvs_-V8w56l011qmfsG6uwmOH7lY0bYASqK_EXZn6y5yCgCdyRd1At1pRrUsqWUxXUpMSoS6Shf4N77sss9uLm6n3lqYOMceclIsVlFDDmiSk/s1600/RC-64+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlyb83cJEfQ1evJg97VDNrs7d5HLBuenhvs_-V8w56l011qmfsG6uwmOH7lY0bYASqK_EXZn6y5yCgCdyRd1At1pRrUsqWUxXUpMSoS6Shf4N77sss9uLm6n3lqYOMceclIsVlFDDmiSk/s640/RC-64+%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not only did I have Little Clay Land make my cake topper, I had her make a small</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">version of my topper – and ornaments for my bridesmaids. And oh, their reactions</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">were the sweetest.</span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipIf_3J3h-8LY8VEx9ZnjTKf4Y8iEsNACYAQ1xN_GprnbF1F84M5O0Vsx261oXLZHu8lrxRRD7kUH9HrtGxlpI2ImZKhgVKqBOhqkloM0O_QQsQzIXbcqDoDKJLP2munbUNPLIK_HF5BM/s1600/RC-31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipIf_3J3h-8LY8VEx9ZnjTKf4Y8iEsNACYAQ1xN_GprnbF1F84M5O0Vsx261oXLZHu8lrxRRD7kUH9HrtGxlpI2ImZKhgVKqBOhqkloM0O_QQsQzIXbcqDoDKJLP2munbUNPLIK_HF5BM/s640/RC-31.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography </i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/losangelesfilmmaker/?hl=en" target="_blank"><i>Photo by Nerris Nassiri</i></a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3hDHVbsQHJmzDo8NChX_cRvy2lnlmGOhs7ojWu_riQrhtTnefGUS9_la5qSVoS8vn9WPJ1Sw0ZJ04UbtkuFohrVC4eG8BpxlkWIZ57Yl7qRM-TWhLlIgp9yi2N1DCTb8xEZzCUe5ps7A/s1600/RC-739.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3hDHVbsQHJmzDo8NChX_cRvy2lnlmGOhs7ojWu_riQrhtTnefGUS9_la5qSVoS8vn9WPJ1Sw0ZJ04UbtkuFohrVC4eG8BpxlkWIZ57Yl7qRM-TWhLlIgp9yi2N1DCTb8xEZzCUe5ps7A/s640/RC-739.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Who doesn't love a few glow sticks?</span><br />
<i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZH_O4WNHSxX17GZIw7P6cdX_PbhBezHRd4WhEvv9b3A85Zj8FXc02ZbYQMvjBVg_-W7CGYK-JhGI9itrRmK2Pn1rqCdEngC7K0atz_muGl3VuixQpaPB5B3elrD1okZCJn5lOnxiCrpU/s1600/RC-750.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZH_O4WNHSxX17GZIw7P6cdX_PbhBezHRd4WhEvv9b3A85Zj8FXc02ZbYQMvjBVg_-W7CGYK-JhGI9itrRmK2Pn1rqCdEngC7K0atz_muGl3VuixQpaPB5B3elrD1okZCJn5lOnxiCrpU/s640/RC-750.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">The woman who raised me, who taught me how to be myself. She taught me to find</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">joy in all things, and helped me find ways to always embrace myself – regardless of how</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">others reacted to my unique appearance. She has always made me feel like a queen.</span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography.)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC08EsrFl_VmvxTuki6FtulmZredyBHR6rjVTyLW05TIZphyNAicDUqBVzkkori2crC7neowNxVyX7o4FwqcOoBtPkaRhRXtRSWo9fSBYICqrR2C2kMqTMme1UBB3yrEGH8DFKSb6qF3s/s1600/RC-746.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC08EsrFl_VmvxTuki6FtulmZredyBHR6rjVTyLW05TIZphyNAicDUqBVzkkori2crC7neowNxVyX7o4FwqcOoBtPkaRhRXtRSWo9fSBYICqrR2C2kMqTMme1UBB3yrEGH8DFKSb6qF3s/s640/RC-746.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">My girls, my support system. They were there in my single years and when I fell in love.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">They've been there in my ups and downs, and I'm here for theirs. Together we've laughed,</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">cried, celebrated and danced. They are magnificent, and I'm so thankful to call them</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">my friends.</span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXnnCxW0j0BCXixLUvyzPum_9WMEoFn6kEjlgmRmCWRnsD-6Fct2EwadgTc0GNip3hFMRs4f_MOnX7sw_pyv3sEhWAOvkWEeIVc6UeZKRJKjCrFN-f3GBuoHfk_5IYAb1IE3_SmGN5aw/s1600/IMG_5917.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="932" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHXnnCxW0j0BCXixLUvyzPum_9WMEoFn6kEjlgmRmCWRnsD-6Fct2EwadgTc0GNip3hFMRs4f_MOnX7sw_pyv3sEhWAOvkWEeIVc6UeZKRJKjCrFN-f3GBuoHfk_5IYAb1IE3_SmGN5aw/s640/IMG_5917.jpg" width="369" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Do you guys remember my <a href="https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/crystal-i-heard-her-yell-as-her-eyes-lit-up-9-year-old-overjoyed-to-meet-woman-with-same-beautiful-purple-hue-prominent-birthmark/" target="_blank">friend Naomi</a>? She has the same type of birthmark</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">on her face that I have, and has undergone the same kind of medical treatments</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">I've had to undergo. She followed me on social media for a while, and then last</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">year during a road trip, I surprised her in her school's hallway! One of my biggest</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">highlights was having her at my wedding. She and her parents had to drive quite the</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">way to join us, and it meant the world that they were there. Growing up, I never saw</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">people with the same condition – let alone couples with one of the people having a</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">body difference. So for her to sit there, and see that you can get married and glam your</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">birthmark and be fully embraced by your spouse? And for it to even be included in our</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">vows? Wow. What a highlight of my day to know she was there, and to celebrate with her.</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnefxOiRtDEfhETRNju2LYCjFsh2uuyrZyESGidJuantByJZu_SS2klv97vWG06BLzJh99I8viLlAGarqLsv7SUihAX5FIj-U2VOyBYl5Noj7ym5S1qPl3oSFyER1YNPHzD6jHkdDHtBU/s1600/RC-737.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1067" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnefxOiRtDEfhETRNju2LYCjFsh2uuyrZyESGidJuantByJZu_SS2klv97vWG06BLzJh99I8viLlAGarqLsv7SUihAX5FIj-U2VOyBYl5Noj7ym5S1qPl3oSFyER1YNPHzD6jHkdDHtBU/s640/RC-737.jpg" width="425" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yasssss queens.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">To the left: Katelyn Hartman, the beautiful photographer's daughter. She</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">lives with Goldenhar syndrome.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">To my right? My beautiful friend Naomi, who like me, also has a port wine stain</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">birthmark on her face.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">And oh, how we danced the night away.</span><br />
<br />
(Keith Hartman Photography)</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCRpBXFi6Rm-mbpFwK1Pdb6kIrfLpZEaY18T6KS7RFk8Vkfx6ONHx6Db9CAOYpf-2HdZJQhXv2kRNAKLuHzigTk4cj0k5joN7t4syD-LUw2iA0MKs62A12a_ojdKIAPNWR3nYY59S0V5Q/s1600/RC-741.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCRpBXFi6Rm-mbpFwK1Pdb6kIrfLpZEaY18T6KS7RFk8Vkfx6ONHx6Db9CAOYpf-2HdZJQhXv2kRNAKLuHzigTk4cj0k5joN7t4syD-LUw2iA0MKs62A12a_ojdKIAPNWR3nYY59S0V5Q/s640/RC-741.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Mother/daughter duos – there's nothing more powerful.</span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Keith Hartman Photography</i></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQIWQRhHiXUG-qoYWdaRgaILLVDo97bhqcP1QxnqzLE_ffdRTPWTkEA1hAY8GC8ttrEAbwcUVU1clklZ-Xs40wlB0z6VLa9OIcc0ey_48MoPXnwxWT0RrUtV56XLUXztabDaExgIIll5U/s1600/RC-760.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQIWQRhHiXUG-qoYWdaRgaILLVDo97bhqcP1QxnqzLE_ffdRTPWTkEA1hAY8GC8ttrEAbwcUVU1clklZ-Xs40wlB0z6VLa9OIcc0ey_48MoPXnwxWT0RrUtV56XLUXztabDaExgIIll5U/s640/RC-760.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Our amazing video team and photography team!</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf_X_D2RIGs1jczPuKg1RZ3Ff9J4IhbLlGbbGyort7KODAS-ntZRuI8GYEqMTs9Hiqzk7JrdehMmWVLPL00V_Tn51EwyLpgKgGoV5W53nPUUaDpllFO-VYqykbIeKoh8PTKCnp53rkS0E/s1600/RC-544.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf_X_D2RIGs1jczPuKg1RZ3Ff9J4IhbLlGbbGyort7KODAS-ntZRuI8GYEqMTs9Hiqzk7JrdehMmWVLPL00V_Tn51EwyLpgKgGoV5W53nPUUaDpllFO-VYqykbIeKoh8PTKCnp53rkS0E/s640/RC-544.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Thank you for celebrating with us!</span><br />
<i>(Keith Hartman Photography)</i></td></tr>
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Crystal</div>
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<br />Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-16915959575262091702019-03-06T13:02:00.000-08:002019-03-06T13:47:51.471-08:00Why My Husband and I Had a 'Pop Up Wedding'Whew. What a whirlwind.<br />
<br />
In the last several months, I've unintentionally disappeared from my blog, but if you follow me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thetravelin_chick/?hl=en" target="_blank">Instagram</a> or <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick/" target="_blank">Facebook</a> – you know my life has had many changes. I had a pop up wedding, the originally planned wedding, moved across the country, and bought a house!<br />
<br />
Yeah, I know. That's a lot.<br />
<br />
I know I have a lot to catch you up on, but let's start with the pop up wedding. You may be asking, "What is a pop up wedding?" Or, "Why did you guys get married <i>twice</i>?"<br />
<br />
Great questions. Let me fill you in.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM8QjRQaFEvOkmsbX6tMulajLEanDDbNw1DTIlWsPejdg8_uWQgTMdsQBuuG94vrxWXOU5PNXaaN1HxrCHVVTGS3cNdwJsm6Bjmda7WNzC33pK3YW2yzLLpSP72u1akLvY_GkVkl6bRzI/s1600/34499447_10216216809476760_2487710100827930624_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="943" data-original-width="943" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM8QjRQaFEvOkmsbX6tMulajLEanDDbNw1DTIlWsPejdg8_uWQgTMdsQBuuG94vrxWXOU5PNXaaN1HxrCHVVTGS3cNdwJsm6Bjmda7WNzC33pK3YW2yzLLpSP72u1akLvY_GkVkl6bRzI/s400/34499447_10216216809476760_2487710100827930624_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
On June 1, 2018, Richard and I got engaged. Looking at venues, we set a time and place: February 15, 2019, at the Branch and Vine in Madera, California.<br />
<br />
Then, our plans were thrown for a loop.<br />
<br />
Shortly after we got engaged, Richard then got a job interview in Franklin, Tennessee. Richard started the process of talking with the company and interviewing with them. Before we knew it, several weeks later – he had a job offer.<br />
<br />
A senior electrical engineer at 27? Wowzers. He and I were in agreement. He needed to accept the position.<br />
<br />
While I was excited, and I was even the one who encouraged him to look in the Nashville area...Richard was now moving to Tennessee. I live in California. And our wedding was still three to four months away.<br />
<br />
Then it dawned on me...<br />
<i><br /></i><i>I didn't want him to go without me.</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgua9rRoFr_dxBtCfswqqAVYQ1dHO_pW-dGyZ9t9OEG4ASQUu2fhiCcF8cfVgwCoZbQBE6Wnt_9GT2OfkmFTeyO61o86an4fNJFM7iGKGiWfoGWateFRjZ9i7i67ZnJjlnKFdZCommDxz8/s1600/51777716_10218201824580897_5989537734874628096_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="628" data-original-width="819" height="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgua9rRoFr_dxBtCfswqqAVYQ1dHO_pW-dGyZ9t9OEG4ASQUu2fhiCcF8cfVgwCoZbQBE6Wnt_9GT2OfkmFTeyO61o86an4fNJFM7iGKGiWfoGWateFRjZ9i7i67ZnJjlnKFdZCommDxz8/s400/51777716_10218201824580897_5989537734874628096_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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After Richard got the job, I was driving to the coastline where he was waiting for me. Mom was there, and my friend from Nashville would be joining us too.<br />
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As I was driving, I kept having flashbacks to the last several weeks. During our whole engagement process, because of different stressors, I kept making jokes about us just eloping. Mom would give me the, "Don't you dare," stare. Richard would laugh. And while I was partially kidding, I was also partially serious.<br />
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While I drove the three hours, the idea hit me.<br />
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<i>What if we did elope – but in an inclusive way? What if we had a POP UP WEDDING?</i><br />
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Then the plan started to unfold.<br />
<i><br /></i><i>What if we had a wedding during a church service – but no one knew it was a wedding, except those who had to know? What if grandpa gets up to give a sermon – but instead, "Surprise! Here comes the bride!"</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ3r1OfgQgKIwr7Czngm4f5yGl8BVqEZ2pRiWEF7zOZjFydpUjo5RHSj13MsmQEhtrRxBz6G6iHkKYM4iNYdK1htOrQsmLfYeq-uA91ozhO8AYvR-dccjCVF8l0UwkBjXWy2aewJQFAgI/s1600/46962180_10217610478797622_1414413437303259136_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A bride looking into a mirror." border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="960" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ3r1OfgQgKIwr7Czngm4f5yGl8BVqEZ2pRiWEF7zOZjFydpUjo5RHSj13MsmQEhtrRxBz6G6iHkKYM4iNYdK1htOrQsmLfYeq-uA91ozhO8AYvR-dccjCVF8l0UwkBjXWy2aewJQFAgI/s400/46962180_10217610478797622_1414413437303259136_n.jpg" title="" width="400" /></a></div>
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Richard didn't have long before he had to go to Tennessee. He had a month. And if we wanted to have time for a honeymoon, pack up his life, my life, and then move – we'd have to get married in <i>two weeks. </i><br />
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By the time I got to the coast, I basically had all the details ironed out.<br />
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I parked my car, went inside the oceanfront condo, ran up the stairs and exclaimed, "I have the <i>best </i>idea."<br />
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They all looked at me with curiosity, maybe even a little bit of skepticism.<br />
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My poor husband got the wedding idea at the same time my mom did. But I knew he'd be on board. He would have married me weeks earlier, had I had the idea then.<br />
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I threw out the words "pop up wedding," and gave my road trip definition and concept as quickly as I could.<br />
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And the curve ball I threw my mom? I asked her to plan it.<br />
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Why?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPpmTySC9BB32oBoTuJt0DvfEbw-xQAA4fPDuH_5zqS8op3TKUQzDdPoSgt_DIYO10rQVY3D5RsstThRZdG3zXDqXkBWcLXsZL9YNnNa6fcHhxwXNn6os9z8eC5H1Qz4AevcnyVL2Sl-0/s1600/51092574_10218095934973723_2949606246937788416_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPpmTySC9BB32oBoTuJt0DvfEbw-xQAA4fPDuH_5zqS8op3TKUQzDdPoSgt_DIYO10rQVY3D5RsstThRZdG3zXDqXkBWcLXsZL9YNnNa6fcHhxwXNn6os9z8eC5H1Qz4AevcnyVL2Sl-0/s400/51092574_10218095934973723_2949606246937788416_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Weddings are meant to celebrate the bride and groom, yet they often stress over every little detail to make so many other people happy. They stress and exhaust themselves. I decided that while I knew we had to help to some extent (especially with the ceremony), I wanted a party thrown in our honor. After all, we decided to keep February 15 as our big wedding day that would fit our personalities. That's the one we would dive in deep to help plan.<br />
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For the pop up, I literally wanted to just show up and celebrate our love. I wanted to celebrate us.<br />
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Plus, mom knows me. She's one of my best friends, and one of my biggest cheerleaders. And she was so onboard with this plan. In fact, she was thrilled with the idea.<br />
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She knew I loved sunflowers. Our February wedding would be vintage, and we were OK with using the same decorations for both weddings and venues. And instead of cake, she already knew donuts were my choice of post-wedding celebration. After all, we did get engaged on national donut day!<br />
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She's my mom. She gets me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixr9z8ZczOe5MDWTsrYVGWjIt7fm64_5eU2AHLVViAnXTXgsPSqw4r3BddaMO5GNxqlItGCChmP1jdMCnVI9U-G3iJbmMIXjHAcRT1wW5ZBuYEsUjimzyNDsnX0uD1yHnGJxuBObF4evM/s1600/51341439_10218090934648718_2026376921851363328_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="768" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixr9z8ZczOe5MDWTsrYVGWjIt7fm64_5eU2AHLVViAnXTXgsPSqw4r3BddaMO5GNxqlItGCChmP1jdMCnVI9U-G3iJbmMIXjHAcRT1wW5ZBuYEsUjimzyNDsnX0uD1yHnGJxuBObF4evM/s400/51341439_10218090934648718_2026376921851363328_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And the day turned out beautiful.<br />
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I found a white dress on sale at Torrid, saving my yet-to-be-altered dress I found at David's Bridal for the bigger wedding in February – per Richard's request. After all, two different days deserved two different dresses.<br />
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I found a special perfume to wear on the wedding day, so whenever I wear it, the smell can take him back to that special moment of me walking down the aisle to become his wife. As I got ready, my best friend and maid of honor did my hair and makeup, just like she did for my first date with Richard – and for the day we got engaged.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB8ej34XdNrbDdPIElhYiw5lkqaaKa5cbpHW6Z-GMVeVZ7lK09Mz9IcOlSoXVZzzOFuVHMxgATKJhmKsgFA2I7ftDs8EyMRa2XifbVEyGuqEqhJESdSb2frW7O7qzXcpiW3e23YGFJrwQ/s1600/IMG_2525.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="a bride in a lacy dress holding sunflowers, which has a stick of gum in the front." border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB8ej34XdNrbDdPIElhYiw5lkqaaKa5cbpHW6Z-GMVeVZ7lK09Mz9IcOlSoXVZzzOFuVHMxgATKJhmKsgFA2I7ftDs8EyMRa2XifbVEyGuqEqhJESdSb2frW7O7qzXcpiW3e23YGFJrwQ/s400/IMG_2525.jpg" title="" width="300" /></a></div>
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Richard and I picked every single worship song that played in that service that day. Each song meant something to his heart or my own, and I made sure to honor our first date by borrowing gum stick for my sunflower bouquet. I knew I wanted a moment of prayer with Richard during the wedding, and we picked the song I walked down the aisle too. For this wedding, we went more traditional and basic since we had two weeks and decided to go all out for February.<br />
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Oh, and we went <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thetravelinchick/videos/10217363182335365/" target="_blank">live on Facebook</a>.<br />
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Yes, there were stressors involved. No, the process wasn't perfect.<br />
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There were family emotions and situations. There was a heartache. I was adjusting to a major medication for migraines, which through the whole process and everyone involved for a loop. In addition, we were getting ready for a big move, and I was getting ready to leave the life I knew. I was getting ready to leave my family.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif-8O0YDLYC0d8n_8NIW9gjqBar3XBafpau0jSQkUO0uK2hRzkm9fkwTYdyHaTxDMXcy7teFwlJpb43bY0Sib2WAsabkOhIay_hH7OGy2WEpn6tfN7QAwuMFJnqBVD-7Jrpxun_GRWBnU/s1600/45496775_10217413853322108_911392635736817664_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="744" data-original-width="960" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEif-8O0YDLYC0d8n_8NIW9gjqBar3XBafpau0jSQkUO0uK2hRzkm9fkwTYdyHaTxDMXcy7teFwlJpb43bY0Sib2WAsabkOhIay_hH7OGy2WEpn6tfN7QAwuMFJnqBVD-7Jrpxun_GRWBnU/s400/45496775_10217413853322108_911392635736817664_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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But, now that we've gotten married twice – I've learned that whether you have less than two weeks to plan a wedding, or you have months...every wedding has it's curve balls and stressors. The bloopers, the nerves, the "imperfections" of either day, the things and people out of our control...Psh. Those things don't really matter in the end.<br />
<i><br /></i><i>Every wedding is so beautiful in every single way.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>Why?<br />
<i><br /></i><i>Because love.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>From the moment I got engaged, my biggest mantra was to make the process as stress-free as possible. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't perfect at it. But at the end of the day? As long as I was married to Richard, that's all that mattered.<br />
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And now we've double sealed the deal.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkk2wt3GVrvCY3YKG35jQ0dfXxXeNjUYvaPlXM3JcakPwbqO_CHM8EplmpU-v5oiOS3mZWA9SrpxbNmCEWG_dJlWHsTKUU0r3RuKBtkjDO8Nuksze63d6P4vU0wYJpFOIqc6mjoDfdYEM/s1600/44987676_10217367026951478_4395314847479234560_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="640" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkk2wt3GVrvCY3YKG35jQ0dfXxXeNjUYvaPlXM3JcakPwbqO_CHM8EplmpU-v5oiOS3mZWA9SrpxbNmCEWG_dJlWHsTKUU0r3RuKBtkjDO8Nuksze63d6P4vU0wYJpFOIqc6mjoDfdYEM/s640/44987676_10217367026951478_4395314847479234560_n.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
<br />
So why did we still get married on February 15, in addition to our October anniversary? That was the dream venue, dream dress, dream ceremony. That was the ceremony where we go to invite all of our friends who have supported us as individuals and as a couple. We also got to take our time planning every detail for this fun party...a celebration of our love!<br />
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Love deserves to be celebrated. It <i>should</i> be celebrated. It's <i>worth </i>celebrating!<br />
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I waited a long time for Richard, and he waited for me. Two weddings? It's just an extra excuse to celebrate the gift God gave us – each other.<br />
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Why not get married twice?<br />
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The Travelin' (and Married) Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
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<b>PS: Stay tuned! Pictures from the next wedding are to come, and we did something a little extra special with those. You won't want to miss those – I guarantee it! </b>Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-6248102182506227812018-07-27T11:18:00.000-07:002018-07-27T11:51:24.994-07:0013 Things to Remember About Health Advocates and Role ModelsThis year has been a really hard advocacy year.<br />
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Actually, it probably has been the hardest one yet.<br />
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Because there's so much positive to share in my journey (speaking opportunities, articles, media interviews, etc.) I think that it's equally as important to be open about the hard, vulnerable, and raw stuff too.<br />
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This year I’ve had people tell me I was in the wrong for standing up for myself in a way I felt was necessary – even though they weren’t in my shoes, or experiencing the situation personally. They weren’t even in the room.<br />
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Last month I had a video a company made about my story. While they did a great job with the video and I was proud of the outcome, it still resulted in some cruel comments...many of which resulting in my hitting the “report” button.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAp2Q7P_-6sLDhX-lhCOsgm4QQ5PLTmR9fe5STv5whyrepiO1RlwhGH_aBEHMP_LYVOnGFGMX6T_rc3p9_P2Kr13s3uwjM_W1MJ5kdkFxEqq6KNmO_oFVoE4rTYPd2ZTLHkUftwkNuHuc/s1600/35142063_10216277533794830_7866657615407742976_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="859" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAp2Q7P_-6sLDhX-lhCOsgm4QQ5PLTmR9fe5STv5whyrepiO1RlwhGH_aBEHMP_LYVOnGFGMX6T_rc3p9_P2Kr13s3uwjM_W1MJ5kdkFxEqq6KNmO_oFVoE4rTYPd2ZTLHkUftwkNuHuc/s400/35142063_10216277533794830_7866657615407742976_n.jpg" width="357" /></a></div>
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Strangers telling me to “F-off” and that my medical condition isn’t valid and is “insignificant” because they were going off what they can see – not realizing there may be more to my condition than what meets the eye.<br />
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A parent of a kid with similar condition accusing me of having a “false” and “hypocritical” public image – all because I didn’t respond to their email fast enough. (While also guilting me to be friends with her daughter.)<br />
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...and that’s only four issues I’ve run into in the last three months alone.<br />
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In all my years of an advocate, I’ve never felt so drained. Never felt so tempted to quit. Just the other day, due to another hard situation not mentioned, I even found myself saying words I never thought I’d say to my fiancé, “One day I may just stop.”<br />
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And the thing is, I can quit anytime I want. I can delete my blog, I can speak and write about other topics I’m passionate about - human trafficking, travel, or even photography. I can be known as someone other than “the girl who blogs about life with a birthmark.”<br />
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But then I remember why I do what I do.<br />
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I’m an advocate for myself, because I believe we should all advocate for ourselves to the best of our abilities. No one knows our bodies like we do, and no one can get the care for their own body’s need like we can.<br />
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I’m a storyteller so others can realize they’re not alone in their journey. Maybe our stories are different, but there is someone who can relate – and who looks like them.<br />
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I’m an educator so when someone is unkind to me because of my facial difference, maybe they’ll be kinder to the next person they meet in similar shoes. Maybe the next generation of people with facial differences will be seen as people with a name and story, instead of made to stand out through harsh comments and uncomfortable stares.<br />
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I’ve thought about quitting more times this year than I care to admit. But I do this because it’s what I feel called to do – even on the hard days. God’s not done with my story yet, and He’s not done with my storytelling.<br />
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Sometimes I wonder why my skin isn’t “thicker by now.” But then I’m thankful that it’s not, because I’m afraid “thick skin” for me would equate to a “hard heart” - and I so desperately want to keep that tender. I also remind myself that my feelings are real, and they’re valid. It’s OK to feel them, process them, and honor them.<br />
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Maybe one day I will “quit,” and hopefully someone else will be ready to carry the advocacy baton when and if that time comes. But until then, I remember the beautiful moments - like surprising a sweet kiddo with the same facial birthmark in the hallways of her school. I remember the emails of people who write me and say, “I thought I was the only one - but then I stumbled on your blog!” I remember the good moment that have passed and that have yet to come. I remember self-care, that it’s OK to take breaks and/or sabbaticals, and I’ll remember why I do what I do.<br />
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I remember that advocacy work isn’t always easy, but it’s not always this hard either.<br />
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All that being said, as you follow and connect with health advocates online, here are a few things that I think are important to remember as you follow and connect with me, and other health advocates and role models:<br />
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1. <b>We are so thankful you're willing to be a part of our journey with us on our </b><b>blogs and social media.</b></h3>
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Oh boy, are we thankful for you! Whether you found us through media interviews and have no direct experience with our condition, a parent of a child with the condition, or you live with it firsthand – thank you for sharing our blog entries, social media posts, and for being a friend on the journey.<br />
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2. <b>We're likely not doctors.</b></h3>
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I constantly get emails asking for medical advice, including what treatments I think people should do and asking what their medical options are. Some people have even asked me to diagnose them. While I have a lot of medical knowledge, if we have the same conditions, our conditions may affect us differently. I don't have a medical degree, and I can't give you a medical opinion. All I can do is share my patient experience – what treatments work for my specific case, how the treatments affect my body and my mental health. If you ask me for medical advice for port wine stain birthmarks or Sturge-Weber syndrome, I'll probably just send you to <a href="https://www.birthmark.org/" target="_blank">The Vascular Birthmarks Foundation</a> where they can then connect you with doctors where you can find the advice you're looking for. I'd love to hear your story, share more details about mine, and encourage you, but please don't ask me for medical advice.<br />
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3. <b>Most of us wish we had time to reply to every email, social media comment, message on Facebook, message on Instagram, and every Snap sent to us on Snapchat.</b></h3>
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But often we don't. Or, at least not within an immediate timeframe. Hearing from you is one of my favorite things about my job! But, unless we have a note pinned to the top of our page, "I promise to respond to every message within 24 hours," please don't expect us to write back within a day, or even a week. We're not on-call, nor are we a like a "one hour film development" center.<br />
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While we're seen posting a lot online, we also live a life away from the computer – much of which isn't published online for the world to see. Personally, I have a job, <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2018/06/dating-port-wine-stain-birthmark-laser-treatment.html" target="_blank">a fiancé</a> I'm planning a wedding with and building a future with, family obligations, and friendships that I need to tend to face-to-face and way from the screen.<br />
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Also, it's important to remember that not only do I write about my conditions, but I live with them as well. Sometimes I have to take care of myself before I can help take care of others. I have doctor's appointments, laser surgeries, speaking engagements, and sometimes I travel. I also usually have a thousand ideas in my head at any given time, and I'm trying to manage them so I can best serve the health community I'm in.<br />
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To navigate my advocacy work and every day life, I do my best to reply to messages when I can. But I also have a habit of going through all my inboxes at least once month in effort to reply to people – but even then, sometimes I accidentally miss a few people.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDZ_pibszb_DQfGfhoufB5fi0Y2LN7f_JZYJxjWJ4ozF-LhcSzOm00W69mS6aoooNZn_rcs-nW-Qq-UUQugDrU8ZeauiW2lZcSGLZU7w7B1ipbg45_4HDM8p53mU6wH1OrkLqXfgw-4hs/s1600/29982782_10215795459503274_7443115738535799262_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDZ_pibszb_DQfGfhoufB5fi0Y2LN7f_JZYJxjWJ4ozF-LhcSzOm00W69mS6aoooNZn_rcs-nW-Qq-UUQugDrU8ZeauiW2lZcSGLZU7w7B1ipbg45_4HDM8p53mU6wH1OrkLqXfgw-4hs/s400/29982782_10215795459503274_7443115738535799262_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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4. <b>It's OK to message us again if we don't reply to your first email.</b></h3>
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But please be kind. It's possible we didn't see your message, even if Facebook said we did. It's possible that your email never reached our Yahoo or Google accounts. Please don't assume we don't want to talk to you, or that we have set up a "contradictory image" in the public eye. We're doing our best, really, we are.<br />
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5. <b>Even if we don't reply, we soak in your encouragement.</b></h3>
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Encouragement from others is so vital to what we do. Sometimes I even print of people's emails or messages to help me on the days that are hard health days, or even hard advocacy days. Your encouragement serves as a reminder that we are impacting the world for the better, that we are making a difference – even if it feels like we're not.<br />
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6. <b>When we tell about an experience we've had, remember you weren't there – which means you don't get to see the full picture, regardless of how well we've written the story.</b></h3>
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Sometimes the hardest part about sharing stories online is that, often, I was the only one there. I write stories sharing about times when people stare at me, or make a comment about my facial difference, and I share them to the best of my ability with full honesty. Yet, sometimes that's not enough. An experience has many elements, including things such as emotions, smells, tastes, body language, and tone – and not and they're 3D, layered with details. They're constricted between black and white letters on your screens, or the within the pixels of videos we may share. But because I was the only one there, there are several elements that readers will miss – so therefore wrong assumptions are made, and fair questions aren't asked.<br />
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In the past, people have responded in anger and judgement, telling me I was in the wrong by choosing how I responded to someone saying something unkind about my facial difference, or how I responded to someone who spent several seconds – if not minutes – staring at me. Instead of hoping for the best and assuming I have a level head on my shoulders, I get criticized for standing up for myself in a hard moment...and in a way I deem necessary.<br />
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7. <b>You may not agree with how we choose to advocate for ourselves, but it may be just right for us in that particular moment.</b></h3>
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Like I mentioned above, I've had people tell me I was in the wrong for advocating for myself in certain situations. For example, during my <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2017/07/OnlineDating.html" target="_blank">online dating experiment</a> one man wrote to me and said, "Oh, what happened to that beautiful face?" I replied with wit and humor, "Oh my gosh...What do you mean? Is something wrong with my face?"<br />
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People instantly started writing comments on my Facebook post <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2017/07/Online-Dating-with-port-wine-stain-birthmark.html" target="_blank">about the experience</a>. Most were supportive and understood my humor, especially when people who were following the online dating fiasco knew I was open and blunt about my birthmark in my pictures and my profile. But one woman told me I went about my response in the wrong way.<br />
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Once again, while most people were supportive, there were a few people who weren't – and who let it be known. In the end, I can only make the best decisions I can with the knowledge I have in the moment. And that's just what I'm doing.<br />
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7. <b>I believe in the form of accountability, but there's a time and place.</b></h3>
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I'm only human. I won't always get it right when I advocate publicly and privately. But while I share stories online, if you have feedback – stop and think before you hit the "post" button. Is your comment better shared publicly, or would it be kinder to show a little grace and message me privately so we can have a constructive conversation? Are you leaving the comment to be "right," or because you genuinely want to give feedback to help me grow and learn as an advocate? Before you message me, it may be a good idea to write your email, sit on it, reread it the next day, and then send it. But also, remember I do have people in my life holding me accountable. I rely on my mentors, my parents, my best friend, and fiancé for guidance. They're honest and blunt opinions are the ones I trust the most, and the ones I constantly seek in hard situations.<br />
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8. <b>We don't always have to be nice when we advocate for ourselves.</b></h3>
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While I try to stay kind in my responses to people's comments and stares, there's nothing that says I have to respond in a kind way. Some situations do call for a little bit of sarcasm and sass, and while I rarely ever tap into them and can only count on one hand the amount of times I've used this method, I have the right to implement those tactics when I deem necessary. My heart and feelings come first, and sometimes responding to unkindness with a sarcastic joke is more necessary than a smile.<br />
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9.<b> Please don't guilt us into being friends with your children.</b></h3>
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Are you trying to find a mentor and friend for your kiddo with a medical condition? Someone who's been through the hardships first hand? That's amazing! I wish I had that as a child and teenager and I totally see the value and beauty in that, and I wish I could be everyone's friend. While I love befriending others with the same conditions, and helping kids on their journey, I can't always be everyone's "go-to." If I end up being great friends with your child one day, yay! I'm so glad. But please don't force it, try to guilt me into it, or get angry if my life doesn't allow it at that time.<br />
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10. <b>Sometime's we have to put up boundaries.</b></h3>
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Did you know that Facebook only allows people to have 5,000 friends? Because of this reason alone, sometimes we won't add people with the same condition as friends. Many of us also have public pages people can "like," and you can see the same content you're looking for on that corner on the web. (You can find <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel" target="_blank">my Facebook page here</a>.) We also want to have a safe space online, where we can talk about random life events we may not want the public to see or know about. We may want to post pictures of children in our lives, while wanting to remain confident that we haven't added any unsafe strangers to our friend list. In many of my talks, I discuss internet safety after having my image stolen – and I believe in practicing what I preach.<br />
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11. <b>We're not your only option.</b></h3>
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Did you know that there are likely Facebook support groups for your condition that you can join? Depending on your condition, there may even be support groups in your hometown. Sometimes nonprofits even host events once or twice a year in different cities so you can connect with people in similar health conditions, and to learn about your conditions. I know the Vascular Birthmarks Foundation alternates between the general LA area and New York area every year, and they even have top specialists in the field for port wine stain birthmarks, hemangioma, and Sturge-Weber syndrome, surgeons, and dentists that you can make free appointments with during the events. Usually this event takes place every October.<br />
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12. <b>We're only human.</b></h3>
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If you think about it, this generation of social media has redefined what it means to be a health advocate. Not only are we advocating in doctor's offices or giving speeches, but we're advocating online and in a digital permanent marker. In a way, we're the first of our kind as we manage our own health, situations that may arise in the doctor's office or when we go out in public, and also online. Many of us are learning as we go, and we're doing our best.<br />
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13. <b>It's OK if we decide to "quit," and even we I don't, you're welcome to join us in the advocacy world!</b></h3>
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If you want to share your story and join me, your perspective and story are welcome! There's always room at the table for you. Your story is yours, and you can share it or keep it private. That decision is all yours, and both choices are perfectly OK! The same goes for me. Occasionally, I may be on the quiet side and take a sabbatical. One day I may even decide to switch gears and talk about other important life topics. I'm a woman of many talents and interests. From baking to human trafficking, from photography to travel, who knows if one day I may choose a different focus.<br />
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For now, though, I'm continuing the journey as a health advocate. I love what I do and I've enjoyed the journey as an advocate for people with port wine stain birthmarks, Sturge-Weber syndrome, and facial differences. I'm not perfect at my job or in my work, but I promise you that I'm doing my best as I spread awareness about these conditions, and as I teach about kindness.<br />
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Thank you for being a part of my journey, and thank you for showing me kindness I spread awareness and advocates – both when I get it right, and even when I get it wrong.<br />
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The Travelin' Chick,<br />
CrystalCrystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com54tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-54619365181733696832018-07-12T18:31:00.001-07:002018-07-12T18:52:45.783-07:0013 Ways People Stare at My Facial Difference – And How I Can Respond (With GIFs)If you live with a physical difference, you know the stares.<br />
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Go into store? Someone's staring.<br />
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Go into a restaurant? Eyes are on you.<br />
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Visit a new church? You won't leave the parking lot without another glance lingering a little too long.<br />
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Living with a facial difference my whole life, I've come to realize there are a few specific types of<br />
stares:<br />
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1. The curious stare.<br />
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2. "Ew...What is that?"<br />
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3. "I'm so scared of what I'm seeing."<br />
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4. "I have the same condition, and I can't believe you do too!"<br />
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5. "I know someone else with the same kind of birthmark you have, and I think you're so beautiful."<br />
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6. "Look at her face" mockery stare, with a side of laughter to go along with it.<br />
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7. The accidental "I don't realize I'm staring at you" stare, which may be them just gazing your way – without even noticing the physical difference.<br />
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8. "I know you just caught me staring at you, but I'm gonna keep staring at you anyway." With this stare, they may not of realized they were doing it initially – although some are intentional from the get-go. But eventually they get the "Oh, oops!" look after they realize they're caught, or they realize what they were doing. But even though they now know what they're doing, they keep staring anyway<br />
and become intentional with the act.<br />
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9. "I'm trying to understand what I'm seeing right now" – which is more common from children, with a dash of the curious stare. They're curious, they may just not realize just yet that staring isn't a kind way to go about their curiosity, because someone just hasn't taught them that just yet.<br />
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10. "You poor thing."<br />
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11. The "motion detector" stare – when the person's stare follows your every move.<br />
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12. When people invade your personal space, while staring at you – following you like a shadow, taking every step you take, staying a little too close too long.<br />
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13. The never-ending stare.<br />
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I'm sure there are many types of stares I'm not listing, but those are the main nine. And because there are several types of stares, there are several ways I can choose to respond. Depending on the kind of stare I'm receiving, depends on which reaction I pick.<br />
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1. Make funny faces at them.<br />
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2. Ask, "I noticed you looking at me today. I'm terrible with faces sometimes – do I know you from somewhere?"<br />
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3. As a child, my mom gave me some the best advice that I carry with me to this day. At the age of 5 or 6, she couldn't prevent me from seeing a man stare at me. Whatever the situation was, she couldn't stand in front of them to block my view, nor distract me. (And she always tried her best, and still does...Even though I'm taller than her, and can see stares above her head.) Quick witted infused with wisdom, she told me, "I know what they're doing is uncomfortable and unkind, but what if you smile at them? What if they're having the worst day of their life today, and you're the only one to smile at them? What if you end up making a friend?"<br />
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4. Unleash all the swag.<br />
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5. Wave at them if they're in another car next to you at a red light, or if they're several feet away from you.<br />
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6. Do a stare down. Depending on my mood and energy level, the type of stares I'm receiving, or if I've had a lot of comments and stares that day – this one can be more common than I care to admit.<br />
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7. Introduce yourself.<br />
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8. Walk away from the situation, if possible.<br />
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9. Go for a shock factor.<br />
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10. Act like a princess. You can do a nice hair flip, or wave like a royal – like Anne Hathaway in "Princess Diaries."<br />
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11. Make more funny faces.<br />
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12. If someone's staring is making you super uncomfortable, write them a note. I one wrote a man a not and explained it was OK for him to be curious, but not OK for him to stare at me, and that he needed to see me as a person – not a birthmark.<br />
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This is probably the boldest response I've ever given, and the most controversial. But, the people who disapproved weren't there, and I probably could have done better with some of the details before hitting the "post button." I also shared the note with people close to me, and explained the situation to them before asking the waitress to give the note to the man. Had they told me it wouldn't be a good move, these are the people I trust to call me out on it and who have a right to say so...But given what was happening, all agreed it was appropriate.<br />
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13. Ask them if they have any questions.<br />
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14. Tell them they should see the other guy.<br />
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15. Ask, "You keep staring – is there something on my face?"<br />
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16. Ignore them.<br />
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17. Sing a song. My stanza option? <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxO0dyCENEU" target="_blank">The song</a> that reads:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"I was looking back to see if you were looking back to see<br />
If I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me"</blockquote>
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19. Do a little dance.<br />
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20. Bluntly tell them they're being awkward.<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/UaImHCEDssJGw/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="276" data-original-width="499" height="176" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/UaImHCEDssJGw/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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21. Tell them to stop staring. And depending on the situation, you can either ask kindly or be firm.<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/lRmjNrQZkKVuE/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="158" data-original-width="319" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/lRmjNrQZkKVuE/giphy.gif" /></a></div>
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22. Make a joke – but don't make it self-depreciating. I usually have birthmark jokes ready to go for a variety of situations.<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlUxUu3CqVAbees/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="270" data-original-width="480" height="180" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlUxUu3CqVAbees/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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23. Tell them to take a picture because it lasts longer.<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlDuXZWHtq5AH2E/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="275" data-original-width="400" height="220" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/l0HlDuXZWHtq5AH2E/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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24. Hold a sign up to your face with information about your illness, or follow these celebrity's lead and hold up a sign about organizations people should pay more attention to.</div>
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/HyxiXb48URl9C/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="513" data-original-width="580" height="283" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/HyxiXb48URl9C/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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25. Often when people stare, they forget about boundaries and personal space. If that becomes an issue, just do this...<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7WTueeoYcjZYZmUw/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="296" data-original-width="525" height="180" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7WTueeoYcjZYZmUw/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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However you choose to respond, know that it's OK. If you share about these experiences (whether it be about stares or comments people make about you) on social media or publicly, and you share your response, it's possible people will try and tell you that you were in the wrong for how you handled the situation. The more I share about these experiences, and the bolder I become in how I stand up for myself, the more "you were wrong to do that" feedback I get...But that feedback is 99.9 percent from people who don't have a physical difference, who don't know me very well.</div>
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And here's the thing – you have the right to stand up for yourself however you deem necessary. You know the full experience in a way others don't, especially if they weren't there. You have the right to be as bold as you decide is appropriate. It's OK to tell people, "This isn't OK" – whether you say it with humor, boldness, or bluntness.</div>
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If you live with a physical difference, how do you respond when people stare at you?</div>
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
<br />
<i>All Images Courtesy of Giphy.com</i><br />
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<br />Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-75310188677135394452018-06-20T11:19:00.000-07:002018-06-20T11:39:59.060-07:00How My Fiancé Chooses to Embrace Me – and My Facial DifferenceIt was obvious on my <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2017/07/OnlineDating.html" target="_blank">dating profile</a>. It was shown in all my pictures, it was written within my “about me” section. I was intentional about it being obvious.<br />
<br />
Granted, I was doing an <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2017/07/Online-Dating-with-port-wine-stain-birthmark.html" target="_blank">online dating experiment </a>to see how people react to those with facial differences, like mine – a port wine stain birthmark that dwells on my left side of my face.<br />
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I remember one of our first phone calls, just a few days before our first date and he bluntly said, “I don’t want to waste my time, and I don’t want to waste yours – but I need to let you know I’m looking for something that could lead to something serious. I don’t want to just date for fun.”<br />
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I knew this was my opportunity to throw in my “I don’t want to waste anyone’s time” line.<br />
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Responding, I told him, “That’s what I’m looking for too, so we’re on the same page. But since I don’t want to waste my time either, nor yours – so I need to make sure you’re OK with my birthmark.”<br />
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I can’t remember exactly what I said after that. I’m pretty sure I threw in a blunt, “If you’re not OK with it, that’s OK. You’re just not the guy for me – because I don’t feel the <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/12/12-perks-of-having-purple-birthmark-on.html" target="_blank">need to hide it</a>, or hide who I am. And I won’t change who I am for a guy’s preferences or expectations.” But maybe I just thought that, maybe I didn’t say it. I was nervous to be so bold, but it was important. Did I warn him of the comments that could come? Did I warn him about the treatments I have to undergo to make my birthmark stay healthy? Or did that come later?<br />
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I can’t remember all that I said, but I do remember ending it with something like, “Are you OK with it? Do you have any questions about the birthmark, or about life with it?”<br />
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He didn’t understand why anyone would see it as an issue, or as a valid reason to not date a girl.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6kh_NkALE_zv4gF-uIk0eGr0NVqM9e97xdYfvBHRdOvZ3CJh1V588cQgu4HEa8LzRXzBpJnhWh3HBxrRYlAhpECP-cWmXGTnaJVEZYpuSC90VZPQ7kOt6-od8cjYd8BJhLBW54XQrUxY/s1600/Fiance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6kh_NkALE_zv4gF-uIk0eGr0NVqM9e97xdYfvBHRdOvZ3CJh1V588cQgu4HEa8LzRXzBpJnhWh3HBxrRYlAhpECP-cWmXGTnaJVEZYpuSC90VZPQ7kOt6-od8cjYd8BJhLBW54XQrUxY/s400/Fiance.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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Our first date lasted over eight hours. And since that call, we’ve spent hours on the phone. We’ve seen each other every two weeks since our first date – and we’ve gotten engaged. He’s even gone with me to two of my laser treatments – one where I stayed awake, the other where I went under.<br />
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Growing up, we took friends with us to almost every treatments. It always made it more fun, more of an adventure. As an adult, I’ve gotten pickier on who I want to go with me. Letting someone see me get lasered (which can be quite painful) and then to let them see the initial affects of the treatment can be such a vulnerable thing – especially since I don’t usually leave my house for nearly a week after undergoing one of them, depending on the swelling and discomfort I’m experiencing.<br />
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I remember him asking to go to one for the first time. At the time, he was my boyfriend, but I knew that was a whole level of new level of vulnerability for our relationship – and it was up to me and if I was ready for that. To an extent, I was. I wanted him to go and experience “real life with Crystal Hodges,” but I was afraid of also letting him go to a treatment – letting him see the process and the pain, to let him smell the burning flesh and hair.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhThcP8FqeQyEpoaa2H_V5Ib4stf9g6VtVDthMyciFd2S06oTDUZhQgOQWQWMNKISAIpbTt-nywvHsLFYJ3DciXpbMepcF2eGkhXCg2lnPp4FusnyUvEdLqitKm_lodmwLUKtweYxyYIE8/s1600/35238236_10216283955955380_4947281817905397760_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1193" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhThcP8FqeQyEpoaa2H_V5Ib4stf9g6VtVDthMyciFd2S06oTDUZhQgOQWQWMNKISAIpbTt-nywvHsLFYJ3DciXpbMepcF2eGkhXCg2lnPp4FusnyUvEdLqitKm_lodmwLUKtweYxyYIE8/s400/35238236_10216283955955380_4947281817905397760_n.jpg" width="297" /></a></div>
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What if it was too much for him? What if he’d go, and realize this wasn’t a life he wanted?<br />
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Sometimes it does feel like a lot to ask of him.<br />
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<i>The stares.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2018/04/reactions-to-facial-difference-GIFS.html" target="_blank">The comments.</a></i><br />
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<i>The migraines caused by the effects the birthmark has on my brain. </i><br />
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<i>The treatments. </i><br />
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<i>The occasional smells of burnt flesh and hair.</i><br />
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<i>The swelling.</i><br />
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<i>The risk of growth.</i><br />
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<i>The risk of him being accused of abuse – both potentially serious accusations, or flippant.</i><br />
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How is it not a lot?<br />
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But he knew from the get-go. He chose to jump in, he has chosen to stay.<br />
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In the midst of my fears, he’s gone above and beyond.<br />
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Knowing my tradition that started as a child where I take a stuffed animal for every treatment, for his treatment experience, he brought me a handmade bear he commissioned someone to make me. He took selfies with my mom as they wore the “Willie Wonka” glasses they had to wear to protect their eyes – because that’s what we do every time. And even though he lives three hours away from me, he came home with us that weekend and just held me as we binged my favorite movies and TV shows. He didn’t even care that I fell asleep on and off throughout our viewing experiences.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLDkEbYpZVRoCs_m39vt6qBe2C1FrSp5d7XR9K84p0bHpO6wI1uoVN_NfZdrwIBUxCaEyzbYFp8Nsh3FuARFATxWXFQ0-8ZHAkhEFcKuBrSIKKPgimYgtPdRygielk95mGN4rPXmOnAU/s1600/35166900_10213301736272540_1271051333088051200_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="781" data-original-width="1600" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLDkEbYpZVRoCs_m39vt6qBe2C1FrSp5d7XR9K84p0bHpO6wI1uoVN_NfZdrwIBUxCaEyzbYFp8Nsh3FuARFATxWXFQ0-8ZHAkhEFcKuBrSIKKPgimYgtPdRygielk95mGN4rPXmOnAU/s400/35166900_10213301736272540_1271051333088051200_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Yesterday was my second treatment since our treatment began, but this time I was being put under. Knowing I was feeling anxious and nervous, he put his own nerves to the side and rubbed my feet as I waited. He even made my stuffed animal dance to the music I was playing, knowing he’d get laughter out of me.<br />
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He started showing “in sickness and in health” at the first treatment I invited him to, months before he asked me to marry him – and he continues to do so every day since, with every treatments since.<br />
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He embraces who I am, as I am – lasered or not lasered. He loves that I love the color purple, and sometimes he’ll even wear the color purple to color coordinate with my natural look. He laughs with me as I make new birthmark jokes. He sees me as beautiful when the world tells me I’m not, and when I don’t feel so beautiful after a treatment – and he makes sure to tell me so on a regular basis. He partakes in the traditions I started as a child without even being asked. And when people stare or make comments? Per my request, he lets me handle it depending on how I see fit – but is ready to jump in if I need or want him to.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpimTjECVYriXDNlJy3XXBD_w9MBTglNN_h3m2dXbejCoAB1eiICFugSWt8VMoI81DWoG1IJ2Ku02cdEcWBO66xaBh4ABSGnKoPbqSBd6t2UGb9BD5am2VT0f2LJRG2IeCVJ86cplztho/s1600/35199059_10216283954755350_4058869138397855744_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpimTjECVYriXDNlJy3XXBD_w9MBTglNN_h3m2dXbejCoAB1eiICFugSWt8VMoI81DWoG1IJ2Ku02cdEcWBO66xaBh4ABSGnKoPbqSBd6t2UGb9BD5am2VT0f2LJRG2IeCVJ86cplztho/s400/35199059_10216283954755350_4058869138397855744_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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I don’t have to ask him to stay through it all, because for him, it’s not even a question.<br />
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And when I walk down the aisle in the coming months? By desires of my own and also by his request, I’ll be wearing white, but with a splash of natural color – keeping my birthmark untouched and unchanged.<br />
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The Travelin' Chick,<br />
CrystalCrystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-51590091698464650562018-04-03T18:52:00.000-07:002018-04-04T11:58:58.777-07:0031 Common Ways People React to My Facial Difference – According to GIFsWhen you live with a facial difference, life is never boring.<br />
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People are constantly in awe when I share stories about how people react to my face. From harsh comments to staring, I do my best to not only describe the stranger's words, but their tone and body reaction. But in a world where GIFs are growing in popularity, I've created a list of the most popular responses I get from strangers when I'm out in the public, as told by GIFs – whether I'm on a date with my boyfriend, or if I'm shopping in Target with my mom.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXtNoBH0ZTgq2PrYvOM3VFpEUXzrREkLONJLvmrRlkvRxymrqFsrkZA8vEHz-ncn5e_8DjUZdCpT5vM3CM4uFw_FnyFm6kuo_IX0dpcq0DE-3TctQfG8jJI3zcnWyfuYDtWw_YQ9YF7mw/s1600/birthmarkkkk.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img alt="A photo of Crystal Hodges, the writer, with a purple birthmark covering the left side of her face - and rose gold eye shadow glimmering from her eyes." border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXtNoBH0ZTgq2PrYvOM3VFpEUXzrREkLONJLvmrRlkvRxymrqFsrkZA8vEHz-ncn5e_8DjUZdCpT5vM3CM4uFw_FnyFm6kuo_IX0dpcq0DE-3TctQfG8jJI3zcnWyfuYDtWw_YQ9YF7mw/s320/birthmarkkkk.jpg" title="" width="256" /></a></div>
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(Also, please note that most of these statements and experiences were simplified to one sentence from the interaction.)<br />
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1. "Is that contagious?"<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7TKtmuUm4g1t4eOs/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="275" data-original-width="400" height="220" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7TKtmuUm4g1t4eOs/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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2. "Is that a tattoo?!" (Mostly asked by children, but not uncommon among adults either.)<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/KnF6GPtMbe2Fa/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="216" data-original-width="384" height="180" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/KnF6GPtMbe2Fa/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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3. "How do you shower?"<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/3o85xFGjUBlUw4XEek/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="478" height="241" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/3o85xFGjUBlUw4XEek/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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4. "I'm so jealous, I wish I had one too."<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/l0MYLraSJ4qyxTqJq/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="222" data-original-width="305" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/l0MYLraSJ4qyxTqJq/giphy.gif" /></a></div>
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5. "You're ugly."<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/iIJS0FQ1Vkp5m/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="270" data-original-width="245" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/iIJS0FQ1Vkp5m/giphy.gif" /></a></div>
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6. A common question that is often asked is, "What's wrong with your face?" Walking into a church a few years ago, a woman I've known my whole life even greeted me with, "Oh, I thought you were the girl who has something wrong with your face."<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohhwyclmLPsVqywLK/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="477" data-original-width="480" height="318" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohhwyclmLPsVqywLK/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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7. "Hey – you have the same birthmark as me!"<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/31lPv5L3aIvTi/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="314" data-original-width="414" height="242" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/31lPv5L3aIvTi/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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8. "You know doctors can fix that, right?"<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/1CyDxZtsOeC1W/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="270" data-original-width="480" height="180" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/1CyDxZtsOeC1W/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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9. "You're so brave. If I were you, I wouldn't even leave my house."<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/qXCZpZ8b8dqmc/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="498" data-original-width="500" height="318" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/qXCZpZ8b8dqmc/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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10. "Oh my gosh, are you OK?!"<br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/l3mZf6qjhavv5Youc/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="270" data-original-width="480" height="180" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/l3mZf6qjhavv5Youc/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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11. <i>*Stares.*</i><br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/Rt23MIHkCJwdy/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="400" height="180" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/Rt23MIHkCJwdy/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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12. <i>*Staring, while awkwardly looking away when caught, occasionally sneaking a peak."</i><br />
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<a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/3IEBYXFwrnUXu/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="166" data-original-width="300" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/3IEBYXFwrnUXu/giphy.gif" /></a></div>
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13. <i>*The horror stare.*</i><br />
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14.<i> *When people follow my every movement with their stares.*</i><br />
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15. "If you had enough faith, you'd be healed."<br />
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16. "Why does your face look like that?"<br />
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17. "Oh my gosh...Your face looks really bad."<br />
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18. "What is on your face?"<br />
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19. "Oh, is that a Halloween costume? Who are you dressed up as?"<br />
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20. "You poor thing."<br />
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21. "You're so beautiful."<br />
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22. Once I went to the mall to try on makeup that hides my birthmark – which would be used for a very special occasion. (I rarely choose to <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/12/12-perks-of-having-purple-birthmark-on.html" target="_blank">hide the birthmark</a>.) Once I was <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/02/i-look-just-fine.html" target="_blank">in the chair</a>, I was invisible. Only my birthmark and my mother remained in makeup artist's company. Instead of asking me what I thought about the makeup, she kept referring to my mother with statements such as, “Doesn’t that look better now?" She even slipped out a casual, "See? With her hair down, you can't even see it anymore." While this is one example alone, this GIF represents when people don't see beyond my birthmark, when I as a human...a person...becomes invisible.<br />
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23. "What do you use to cover your birthmark? You should try this makeup brand. It hides things like that better."<br />
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24. That one time my <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/08/the-face-that-went-viral.html" target="_blank">picture was stolen</a>, and I was turned into a meme that went viral to over 30 million people.<br />
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25. "Ew, gross."<br />
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26. "Can I touch it?" (And let me point out that not everyone will ask, some people will just reach up and touch my cheek – especially children.)<br />
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27. ER Doctor: "I know you're here for an allergic reaction, but did you know that you can get that birthmark treated?"<br />
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29. <i>*More staring.*</i><br />
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28. "You're wrong. That's not a birthmark – you have cancer."</div>
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29. When people won't believe it's a birthmark, and insist there is something doctors can do about my face.<br />
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30. When people take one look at me, and their gut reaction is a swear word.</div>
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31. "Do you have purple boogers?" (Usually asked by children. But just in case you're wondering – no, I do not.)</div>
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If you also live with a facial difference or body difference, what GIFs describe the reactions you've gotten from strangers?</div>
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The Travelin' Chick,</div>
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Crystal</div>
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<i style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">Follow me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thetravelin_chick/" style="border: 0px; box-shadow: none; color: #9da79e; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/travelin_chick" style="border: 0px; box-shadow: none; color: #9da79e; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;">Twitter</a>, and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick/" style="border: 0px; box-shadow: none; color: #9da79e; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px !important; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none;">Facebook</a>.</i></div>
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<i>All Images Are Provided by Giphy.com</i></div>
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<br />Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-79779545579063770962018-01-29T19:08:00.000-08:002018-01-29T19:08:22.573-08:0016 Online Dating Tips Singles Should Know<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPbsjduH-otqeNk7ZHfrIbFvw-Z0g35xOeOX2Ct8cBeubSbu8sm5SHDJpYiwkPVHknD7pXuEP_EMIFiXphs1AvdbWgykGSC14kP-5Ts0LAcB6ymDiD6Ek80lJDbfrF8jmxePt1heMDFQ/s1600/holding+hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Crystal holding her boyfriend's hand." border="0" data-original-height="843" data-original-width="959" height="350" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPbsjduH-otqeNk7ZHfrIbFvw-Z0g35xOeOX2Ct8cBeubSbu8sm5SHDJpYiwkPVHknD7pXuEP_EMIFiXphs1AvdbWgykGSC14kP-5Ts0LAcB6ymDiD6Ek80lJDbfrF8jmxePt1heMDFQ/s400/holding+hands.jpg" title="" width="400" /></a></div>
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Several months ago I announced I was joining the <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2017/07/OnlineDating.html" target="_blank">online dating scene</a>. It was mostly for a <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2017/07/Online-Dating-with-port-wine-stain-birthmark.html" target="_blank">social experiment</a>, to see how people reacted to me, a woman with a <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/08/the-face-that-went-viral.html" target="_blank">facial difference</a>. But, surprisingly, an online dating experiment became less of an experiment – especially when I met a man who would soon become my boyfriend.<br />
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Once I announced I was doing the whole online dating thing, questions came in. And after I announced I met a man on the sites, who was officially my boyfriend? Even more questions about online dating flooded in. And now it's time to answer some of those questions.<br />
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I know, I know – many of you are wanting more details about the guy I call my boyfriend – but I'll share more about him soon...I promise! He and I have been talking about fun ways you can get to know him, so stay tuned for that.<br />
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One of the most common questions I received about online dating is, "Do you have any advice? Is there anything I should know?"<br />
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Thinking about my experiences in the digital dating scene, here are a few suggestion for you:<br />
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1.<b> Know that people can sometimes find you on social media by your cellphone number. </b>Put your phone number in the search bar of Facebook. Does your profile pop up? If it does, you may want to check your settings and protect your privacy.</div>
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2. <b>You can get a burner number. </b>There are apps that let you create burner numbers. If someone asks for your number on the dating sites, you don't have to use your own phone number. That way, if things get awkward or weird, you can burn that number and you never have to talk to that person again. I didn't do this – but I wish I had.</div>
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3. <b>Have friends go with you on your first dates.</b> Your date doesn't have to know they're there. They can be hidden in the background. They can be sitting in a booth across the room, or two tables over. Wherever they are during your date, they're there if things go wrong. They are there if something seems off, if the guy isn't what he appeared to be online. Have a friend there who has your back, just in case.<div>
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4.<b> Don't go in for a hug the first time you meet. </b>Not everyone is a hugger, especially when it comes to practical strangers at the beginning of a first date. This especially can make women feel very uncomfortable. Two weeks of chatting online doesn't mean you've earned a hug, or any form of physical contact. Even if the date goes well, don't expect a hug at the end. You can be blunt and tell her, "This is the awkward part of saying goodbye – should we shake hands? Hug? High five?" Give options. Leave it in the woman's ballpark.<br /><div>
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5. <b>Don't ask a girl to pull up a coupon on her phone – especially on a first date.</b> I love being frugal and saving money. I love a good coupon. A lot of women do. But let's save the coupons for several dates down the line. Instead, if you can't afford a specific venue or restaurant – pick a place you can afford. </div>
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6. <b>Always be prepared to go Dutch. </b>For older generations, it was a given that the guy were to pay for the meal or activity on a date. But, every date I went on, I took money and planned to pay for my own meal – just in case. I also know women who insist on paying for their own meals, at least for the first couple of dates with a man. Some of my friends have found themselves in situation where men paid for their meal, only to have expectations for the end of the date.</div>
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7. <b>Ask your date questions.</b> Don't do all the talking. Get to know them, and let them get to know you. I once went on a date where the guy talked about video games for the first hour, before even asking how I was doing. It was impossible to get a word in, and I probably only got 100 words in during my three hours with him. And even though he did all the talking, I didn't learn much about him – except that he enjoyed playing video games. Get to know your date, and let them get to know you too. There's a reason they said "yes" to the date, or a reason they asked you out. Don't allow the opportunity of getting to know the person sitting across from you go to waste – even if your time together doesn't lead to a relationship.</div>
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8. <b>If your date is a talker, listen. </b>If you're on a date with a talker and you can't get a word in, that's OK. There is a pro to this. Even if they're talking about something that's not typically a go-to topic in your life, and even if you don't foresee a second date, listen. Take the opportunity to learn from the person sitting across from you. You may learn something new about finances, security systems, or video games that you never knew before – knowledge that may come in handy at some point in life...Even if you don't expect it to.</div>
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9. <b>Don't ask for a second date during the first date. </b>Let the girl process the evening before asking her to commit to a second evening with you. Instead, indicate you want to see her again. Tell her you had a wonderful time. It's even OK to say, "I hope to see you again." But, if you ask for a second date during the first – she may not feel comfortable to tell you "no" – especially if you're still a stranger she barely knows.</div>
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10. <b>If anything makes you uncomfortable, say so.</b> If they ask for a first-date selfie and that makes you uncomfortable, say so. If they go in for that hug during the first five seconds of your first date, step away. It's OK to let your feelings be known. During a date, one guy asked me for my last name. Because it's easy to Google me, I wasn't comfortable giving it to him. Not on the first or second date, at least. When he asked, I was direct and told him it was easy to learn about me in the digital world, from my blog to places like <a href="http://people.com/bodies/crystal-hodges-port-wine-stain-birthmark/" target="_blank">People Magazine</a> – if he wanted to get to know me, he needed to do that through me. In the end, he understood and I was glad I stayed within my comfort zone.</div>
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11. <b>Always have a pair of cute backup shoes with you. </b>I drove three hours for a first date with a guy (now my boyfriend), and one of my shoes broke. Because this was a first date, I had people who went with me – just in case. But, no one had any glue, and I didn't have time to go to the store before meeting the guy for lunch. Putting our creative minds together, I ended up on an 8 1/2 hour date with a shoe that was "gummed" (when chewed up gum is used in place of glue) and clipped together. It was almost like a modern Cinderella story...But with gum.</div>
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12. <b>You don't owe anyone a second date.</b> Or a third. In fact, you don't even owe them a first date if something feels off during the messaging process.</div>
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13.<b> Be persistent and intentional, but not overbearing.</b> If you are interested in someone, pursue them with intention. But, if you don't hear back, texting them or calling them multiple times back-to-back isn't the answer...and that's likely to get you blocked. Instead, call once every few days for about a week or so, and leave a short voicemail. </div>
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14. <b>If you go on a few dates with someone, don't ghost them.</b> Gently and kindly let them know you're not interested and why. Don't leave them wondering what went wrong, or what happened. (Unless the situation doesn't feel safe. Then ghosting and blocking is totally appropriate.)</div>
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15. <b>Remember that you're incredible.</b> Meeting new people and going on dates can be terrifying. I get that. But here's the thing – you're amazing. As you go out there and take the dating scene by storm, always be yourself. Stay true to who you are. Be genuine, be confident. You can never go wrong by being yourself.</div>
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16. <b>Don't ever settle.</b> Because remember...You're incredible. You deserve the very best. You deserve that person that makes your heart beat a little faster every time you see them. You deserve that person who challenges you to be a better person, who believes in your dreams and talents, and that person who you love being around. <i>Do. Not. Settle. </i></div>
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If you have any online dating questions, feel free to let me know! Send me a message on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thetravelin_chick/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick/" target="_blank">Facebook</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/travelin_chick" target="_blank">Twitter</a>, or leave a comment in the comment box below.</div>
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The Travelin' Chick,</div>
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Crystal</div>
Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-43448356280552779262017-11-15T00:44:00.000-08:002017-11-15T00:46:29.341-08:00Why I'll Be One of the First in Line to See 'Wonder'<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Born with a facial difference, it's a rarity for me to see anyone featured on the big screen who has a similar storyline to my own – especially with a storyline that is seen in a positive light. When it comes <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2015/05/dear-hollywood-were-heroes-too.html" target="_blank">to Hollywood</a>, often people with facial differences are shown <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/05/health/movie-villains-skin-dermatology-study/index.html" target="_blank">as villains</a>, awkward and <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/search/label/Crystal%20Hodges%20Blog?max-results=15" target="_blank">social outcasts,</a> or are not shown at all. Yet, most real-life people I know with facial differences are beautiful from the inside out, changing the world one life at a time.<br />
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When I picked up the book, "<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wonder-R-J-Palacio/dp/0375869026/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&qid=1510730609&sr=8-1&keywords=wonder&linkCode=ll1&tag=thetrachi02-20&linkId=2c6a0a4b6ac6a4d14b10f258042ebd10" target="_blank">Wonder</a>," I couldn't put it down.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4CeisptK-fB_d4mxHoh1ctxr4tcRLGLsS4ZbaBwBs2RQM7mY3YQHIkh-oVmR1O80M9CPCFMBu59q9Pt1BD7q-yLMz84f1WZVsRKwvfBFVWakGUt7YSgVS69Lhondj6w4zVrgLGr_o0sM/s1600/22046065_10214148004397926_8704450142572234918_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="540" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4CeisptK-fB_d4mxHoh1ctxr4tcRLGLsS4ZbaBwBs2RQM7mY3YQHIkh-oVmR1O80M9CPCFMBu59q9Pt1BD7q-yLMz84f1WZVsRKwvfBFVWakGUt7YSgVS69Lhondj6w4zVrgLGr_o0sM/s400/22046065_10214148004397926_8704450142572234918_n.jpg" width="225" /></a><br />
When I found out there would be a movie? My excitement soared. (Ironically, before looking to see who was included in the cast, I told my friend, "Oh gosh – I hope Julia Roberts plays <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2013/05/the-stain.html" target="_blank">the mom</a> of Auggie, the main character with the facial difference. I can't imagine any other actress in that role." And to add to my excitement, the casting department agreed.)<br />
<br />
I've been excited for several movies in my lifetime, but never quite as excited as I am for "Wonder."<br />
<br />
My story may look different than Auggie's, but the basics are still the same. From <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2013/04/before-going-through-treatment.html" target="_blank">medical treatments</a> to <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/08/the-face-that-went-viral.html" target="_blank">the bullying</a>, for the first time in my life, I'll be able to see a form of my storyline portrayed on the big screen.<br />
<br />
When I talk to people who have read the book, I've learned how their perceptions of people have changed. I've heard the stories of discussions that parents have had with their children after their nightly reading, as "Wonder" took a turn on their nightstand. I've seen the concept of kindness being refreshed in people's minds and actions.<br />
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Books and words have the power to change the world – and "Wonder" has. And now it's about to hit the big screen, this Friday. I have yet to see the movie, but I can only imagine how this movie may impact the world for years to come. I can only imagine the impressionable minds that may see the movie during a family night, walking out of that theater remembering that people are people – regardless of what they look like, or don't look like – reminding to treat others with kindness for the rest of their days on this planet.<br />
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Because of the work I do as a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5yesLcsLkg&t=19s" target="_blank">speaker and writer</a> with a facial difference, I'm constantly in a variety of Facebook groups for people with a variety facial differences – and "Wonder" has been a big debate on some of these pages.<br />
<br />
Why?<br />
<br />
Because the actor playing Auggie doesn't actually have a facial difference. He's a "typical" looking kid.<br />
<br />
While I do agree that it would have been preferred to have a child with the actual medical condition play the role of Auggie, I don't know what went on behind the scenes in the casting process. Did children with the condition audition? I don't know. Did the directors try to find a child who not only can play the role, but who also lives it? I don't know that either. But the actor choice won't stop me from going to see the movie.<br />
<br />
I can understand why some people may avoid the movie due to standing their ground. About <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/07/16/almost-all-disabled-tv-characters-are-played-by-able-bodied-actors-can-we-fix-that/?utm_term=.13a52d438c3b" target="_blank">95 percent of characters</a> with disabilities are played by able-bodied actors, and that needs to change. It's an important point to make, an important fact that needs to be changed. But I'm still going.<br />
<br />
I'm still going because I want my ticket purchase to tell Hollywood that these movies are craved, that they are needed. I want Hollywood to know that I support the fact that they've made efforts towards showing someone with a facial difference in a positive light – and not just as the bitter, angry villain with a dramatic story. I want them to know that I'm glad they're sharing his story with love and humanity, and not with the stereotype that people with facial differences are "fearful" and "scary."<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYFwzj5T6LKStqeZ-CQ8f51l2n1ZDcB5ykCNGNK5WyspyoYOm4_HaOIzne2-rPBRjqQkIzkUzV4aZgBRHJeiR10rmn3mBurwxz7ySRmCQKcjsp685olpryiNo3P4oz0zTLTQbhZHpv7go/s1600/23319550_750711508451073_1267344684669255359_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYFwzj5T6LKStqeZ-CQ8f51l2n1ZDcB5ykCNGNK5WyspyoYOm4_HaOIzne2-rPBRjqQkIzkUzV4aZgBRHJeiR10rmn3mBurwxz7ySRmCQKcjsp685olpryiNo3P4oz0zTLTQbhZHpv7go/s320/23319550_750711508451073_1267344684669255359_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;"><i>Photo found on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/WonderTheMovie/?ref=br_rs" target="_blank">Wonder Facebook page</a>.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
But more importantly? I'm still going to see the movie, in theaters, because I want everyone walking in and out of that theater to know that the story of "Wonder" isn't just a Hollywood story. It's a story that's real.<br />
<br />
I want them to know, to be reminded, that people with facial differences do exist. That they are real people...That I am a real person, sitting in the same movie theater, watching the same movie. I want them to know that facial differences go beyond the two hours of a story they just saw on the screen.<br />
<br />
As I go to to the theaters to see the movie, I hope that anyone watching the 2017 production that may see me, will realize they can start practicing kindness in that moment.<br />
<br />
They can start practicing kindness by not staring at me. By not asking with a rude tone, "What's wrong with your face?" They can show kindness by not calling me "contagious," or comparing me to a villain in their favorite superhero film. Kindness can be shown by not making assumptions about my story.<br />
<br />
And better yet, I hope that if the movie leaves them with any questions about life with a physical difference, that they won't be afraid to come up to me and ask out of genuine curiosity and a desire to learn, while using gentle body language and tone. (Not everyone with a facial difference would be comfortable people doing this, so please be respectful if not all people with facial differences are open about their story.)<br />
<br />
I hope the audience, including myself, walks out of that theater changed.<br />
<br />
I hope that we are all reminded to always, always choose kindness – because kindness matters.<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
<br />
<i>Are you taking a classroom or group to see the movie "Wonder," and are interested in having me join your group for a discussion? Contact me at: <b>crystal@crystalhodges.com</b></i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i>
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Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-46379587369886938402017-07-26T21:47:00.002-07:002017-07-27T11:57:57.455-07:0020 Experiences From Online Dating With a Facial DifferenceY'all.<br />
<br />
I'm pretty sure my last blog entry about <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/" target="_blank">starting the online dating</a> journey has been one of my most popular entries in the comment section on social media. I was amazed to how many of you responded, related, and told me, "It's about time you joined!" (At least, that's what my mom said when I told her I joined.)<br />
<br />
Since the first blog post last week, many of you keep saying, "I'm anxiously awaiting your next post about this."<br />
<br />
Well, update: I joined one more site. (But is anyone really <i>that </i>surprised?)<br />
<br />
I know, I know. I was already on three. But, since so many people went on and on about OkCupid, I decided I had to experience it for myself. Also, it's a blog project (with a side of hope to potentially finding someone to connect with)... So why not?<br />
<br />
As a pro: So far it's the most interactive site, and out of all four of the ones I'm on, it's the cheapest. Not only that, but after a week on the site, it sent me a map showing me my top five states and countries that I hear from, and my weakest states and countries I hear from. Oh - and if you're considering online dating - you don't have pay to receive and send messages, like so many other sites require you to do.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7m5M3s0SAbnCS8BumnZZbSN740U8q3aIqD7Ls2hGs1CmY1i-pHHoXanIc2GxHalNMkd6DfLdQ02xLWZVpcQCLxgO4YMCE3aF-hfUHlRStQdZF_l2TvRkh_g76qj2bR_7TsYFFtIcGKL0/s1600/JMP_023.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1063" data-original-width="1600" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7m5M3s0SAbnCS8BumnZZbSN740U8q3aIqD7Ls2hGs1CmY1i-pHHoXanIc2GxHalNMkd6DfLdQ02xLWZVpcQCLxgO4YMCE3aF-hfUHlRStQdZF_l2TvRkh_g76qj2bR_7TsYFFtIcGKL0/s400/JMP_023.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
I'm still not sure where it ranks with all the other sites, but it does have a variety of features most don't seem to have. (At least, in regards to the other three I joined.)<br />
<br />
Anyways, here's the online dating update you have all been waiting for.<br />
<br />
It's another list, but a little more in-depth. Odds are, not all entries will be in the form of a list. And, if I continue to get this much content every week or two, there will be many more entries to come.<br />
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1. <b>I think I'm too sassy for online dating.</b> One guy told me, "I miss your voice." I replied, "You've never heard it."<br />
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2. <b>Sending me a message for the very first time, a guy told me, "Sexy - what happened to your face?"</b> I don't even know where to begin with this one... I'm not sure that he realizes those two phrases don't really go together, and that they feel rather contradictory. Also, not all women feel comfortable with a stranger calling them, "sexy." (Or at all, rather.)<br />
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3. <b>Another guy sent me a message for the first time. </b>His message read, "FYI, you can use dermablend <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2017/03/to-women-who-feel-they-cant-leave-their.html" target="_blank">to cover it</a>." (Referring to my facial birthmark.) I messaged back, "FYI, you clearly didn't read my profile." Told you, online dating is bringing out my sassy side. But, I did hold back from pointing out that "dermablend" should have a capital "d" since it's a name brand. It took all the restraint I had.<br />
<br />
4. <b>One guy wanted to meet for a date. He wanted to go for a movie and dinner.</b> I asked, "What about coffee in the afternoon?" He agreed... and proceeded to tell me I'd have to drive to his city 45 miles away to pick him up as he didn't have a "working car."<br />
<br />
Bro, it's 2017. Borrow a car. Call an Uber. I'm not going to get in a stranger's car, nor am I letting one in mine.<br />
<br />
5. <b>When someone messages me, but they don't show their face in their photos, I don't respond.</b> I feel that if I can share my face in such a public format and be upfront about my birthmark, I don't need to reply to someone who can't show their face too.<br />
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6. <b>Chatting with one guy, he told me, "I'm a lot shorter than you."</b> I replied, "Yeah, maybe. But I'm a lot more purple than you." Quick-witted, he messaged back, "You don't know that. I could have my whole body tattooed purple." Instant kudos to him for rolling with my birthmark joke.<br />
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7. <b>Texting with a guy, he wrote me and said, "You're one of the best texters I've seen in years."</b> Jokingly, he continued with, "That alone is engagement ring worthy."<br />
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What can I say? I'm quite the texting catch.<br />
<br />
8. <b>To add to my list of conditions other guys have been open about, I've now also seen profiles that mention missing limbs, diabetes, and facial differences - including one guy who has the same birthmark that I have.</b> Talking with him, he said, "I've tried treatments and read blogs from other people with the same condition." Little did he know, he'd make it into mine.<br />
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9. <b>When I glance at people's profiles, I've realized that many 60-something year olds think they can pass at 25 year olds.</b> Although, I'm sure plenty of women are not honest about their age as well.<br />
<br />
10. <b>I've had a couple of guys express that they'd like to take me on a date.</b> For some, asking me out was their first-ever message to me, and for others, we had already been talking for a few days. Yet, anytime a guy asks me, I freak out, "What if they're a serial killer - or something else super dramatic?" Then I rationalize, "Wait. I'm online on the same app, and I'm not a serial killer."<br />
<br />
Realization: I think I've seen too many episodes of "Criminal Minds."<br />
<br />
However, for a variety of reasons, I still have yet to agree to anyone who wants to take me out. So far they've either been a bit too pushy with too many red flags, it was too fast for them to ask, or it just didn't feel right.<br />
<b><br /></b>
11.<b> Chatting with one guy on the phone for the first time, he was instantly ready to delete his profile 30 minutes into the discussion. </b>And he kept trying to convince me to delete mine. I kept insisting that I had to meet him first and get to know him before I made that decision - while not wanting to also explain, "I'd like to meet someone - but this is also for a blogging project." Regardless if I were blogging about the online dating experience or not, that's a bit fast to ask someone to delete their profile.<br />
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12. <b>Having a retired correctional officer as a dad has not gone to waste.</b> All my childhood training on types of tattoos has come in handy as I sift through profiles. Tear drop tattoos on the face? Spider web tats on the elbow? Who knew this knowledge would come in so handy in my adulthood.<br />
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13. <b>As I was talking with a guy who messaged me, this is how our conversation went:</b><br />
<br />
Him: What do you do for a living?<br />
Me: I'm an editor.<br />
Him: Ohhhh that is very good.<br />
Me: Yeah, I like it.<br />
Him: I like that!!!!<br />
Him: Wow.<br />
Him: You are very very intelligent!!!!! Very good.<br />
Me: Thanks. It's really just like a grammatical Easter egg hunt.<br />
Him: You're very positive, I like that. And you have a very nice spark. I love that!!!<br />
Me: Thanks.<br />
<br />
Eventually I let the conversation die down. I couldn't handle the redundancy of, "I love that," or "I like that." He used those phrases so much, it felt a bit condescending. (There were also a few other annoyances.) Eventually he started messaging me every hour, saying "hi" and "hello." Growing tired of him blowing up my phone through the app, I took away his "chatting privileges" - an option Zoosk offers that I'm incredibly thankful for.<br />
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14. <b>After a guy asked me, "Do you know any Spanish?"</b> I explained I only knew a few words here and there - I didn't know it well at all. And I asked if he knew the language. He explained that he was Mexican and that he did know the language. Shortly after, he asked, "Can you tell me in Spanish?" I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing at all. Language wise, all I currently have to offer in Spanish is basically, "Hola quesadilla, underwear, and chicken taco. How are you?" (Although, I really do want to learn more.)<br />
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15. <b>Many "men" aren't very gentlemen-like.</b> Real talk. I know I'm on the more <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/01/adulting-boys-and-pity-parties.html" target="_blank">conservative side</a> on the sex issue. Just writing number two on this list made me feel awkward, and I doubled checked with several people if it was OK to share the comment that was made to me. Once I had the approval of a pastor's wife, I decided to just go with it and share the blunt realities of this experience.<br />
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Yet, I'm not sure why a good chunk of men think they can get away with some of the personal and invasive questions they ask. I've even found myself bluntly asking, "Why is this such a common question on these stupid sites?" Four times in one day I was asked the same question, being told that I hadn't had "certain experiences" yet, that they wouldn't date me. That it "wouldn't work out." Not to be redundant with a line I used in my last blog entry, but... #ByeFelicia<br />
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16. <b>I feel like I'm paying for guys to treat me disrespectfully.</b> From comments about covering my birthmark with makeup to other innapropriate topics... A true gentlemen would not say, nor ask, the things 98 percent of these men are saying and asking. And, to clarify, it doesn't matter if I'm on Christian Mingle, OkCupid, Zoosk, or Match.com.<br />
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17. <b>A guy messaged me on one of the apps.</b> As we got talking, he asked me if I went to a specific high school - and I had. Turns out we went to high school together. I was surprised he remembered me, as I don't think we ever talked... Then again, I guess I do have an <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/12/12-perks-of-having-purple-birthmark-on.html" target="_blank">unforgettable face</a>. ;-)<br />
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18. <b>One guy's initial message read, "You are so beautiful. I love the color purple, and it looks so good on you." </b>Another guy told me I had an "exquisite look."<b> </b>Again... I love the instant comfortability that some guys show.<br />
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19. <b>When you share that you're online dating, people on your Facebook friend list (who don't even know each other) bond over digital "romance" stories - the good and the bad.</b> Also, the singles randomly appearing in your inbox can turn out to be a nice surprise. (I even have had stranger a in Spain who read my blog email me about my singleness, wanting to set up Skype conversations if I am still "looking for a relationship.") If anything, I'm glad people have reached out - whether it was to inquire about putting an end to my singleness, or to relate to the tales never-ending.<br />
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20. <b>I'm starting to think it would have been much easier to ask friends on social media if they had any single friends they thought would be compatible. </b>There has to be a better, classier way to find someone.<br />
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Nearly a month in, I'm still trying to figure out what I think about online dating. There are days where I don't like it - at all. There are days where, like I said above, I feel like I'm paying to be disrespected. Then there are days where I can't help but think, "This is awesome!" as I chat with a really kind guy, who is more gentlemen-like than the majority I've interacted with on all the sites combined.<br />
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Yet, if I'm honest... By seeing the reactions from family and friends about my online dating experiences, I'm starting to wonder if just doing a basic, classy, non-desperate post of, "I'm single and ready to mingle," is all that it could potentially take. Who knows - you might see that kind of post and reply, "Oh, I know someone who is <i>perfect</i> for you!" to, "Hey. Remember me? I'd love to chat and see if there's something there worth pursuing between us."<br />
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And, as I relay all the stories and experiences to my mom, she even pointed out to me last night, "You know what's interesting? It seems, so far, that the guy you're interested in the most isn't even one you met on any of the sites."<br />
<br />
Maybe, just maybe, being honest and saying to the world, "This is where I'm at," is all it takes.<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
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<br />Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com149tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-46141913405985185902017-07-17T12:04:00.001-07:002017-07-26T01:24:09.221-07:0025 Insights to Online Dating – From a Gal With a Facial DifferenceYou guys. I did it. I joined a dating site.<br />
<br />
Wait.<br />
<br />
Actually, I joined <i>three</i>.<br />
<br />
About 75 percent was due to thinking, "This would provide <i>great </i>blogging content," and 25 percent was because I'm curious to see what the odds are I might meet someone. I've done a lot of traveling and have made my way around the world, but I've never had much luck <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/01/adulting-boys-and-pity-parties.html" target="_blank">in the dating</a> department. And, now that I work from home, I don't leave the house as much as I used to, which means I don't meet a lot of new people - unless I'm out speaking, traveling, or at the Dutch Bros or Target check-out line.<br />
<br />
I've been trying to decide when to reveal my new online dating hobby. Should I sign up, complete my subscriptions to the sites I joined, and then share on my blog? Or should I share as it is taking place? But then my friend told me I should do it as I go along, to help keep people enlightened on the experiences - and entertained. (She also told me, "then you can do a highlight reel once you've married Prince Charming" - so stay tuned for that one, y'all.)<br />
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While doing some research, <a href="https://www.bustle.com/articles/166491-how-many-dating-apps-should-you-be-on-this-is-what-the-experts-think" target="_blank">some sites</a> recommended not to join more than one to two sites at a time, in fear that the subscribed member will be overwhelmed with too many fish in the sea. But real talk. It takes a special kind of guy who will date a girl <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2015/07/why-im-not-too-ugly-for-love-or.html" target="_blank">with a facial difference</a>. And he has to be a Christian. I don't think I'll be swimming in an overstuffed ocean, so two weeks ago, I joined three sites (in this order):<br />
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1. Christian Mingle<br />
<br />
2. Match (<a href="http://www.top10bestdatingsites.com/comparison?utm_source=google&kw=top%20dating%20sites&c=193655832404&t=search&p=&m=e&adpos=1t1&dev=c&devmod=&mobval=0&network=g&campaignid=62207227&adgroupid=2233962787&targetid=kwd-131227972&interest=&physical=9031868&feedid=&a=5&ts=&topic=&gender=&age=&gclid=CL7w-K76kNUCFRBEfgodvtoHIQ" target="_blank">#2 Dating Site</a>)<br />
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3. Zoosk (<a href="http://www.top10bestdatingsites.com/comparison?utm_source=google&kw=top%20dating%20sites&c=193655832404&t=search&p=&m=e&adpos=1t1&dev=c&devmod=&mobval=0&network=g&campaignid=62207227&adgroupid=2233962787&targetid=kwd-131227972&interest=&physical=9031868&feedid=&a=5&ts=&topic=&gender=&age=&gclid=CL7w-K76kNUCFRBEfgodvtoHIQ" target="_blank">#1 Dating Site</a>)<br />
<br />
Christian Mingle was oddly silent, which is why I added Match to the list. But curiosity for the number one dating site also struck, and that's where I decided to add one last site.<br />
<br />
While creating my profile, I mentioned I didn't care where people lived, that I wanted a Christian man, and my birthmark is obvious in my profile pictures - and I even mention it in my profile.<br />
<br />
The concept of online dating has always been an odd one as someone with a facial difference. There was fear of honesty, "Will someone steal my image and turn me <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/08/the-face-that-went-viral.html" target="_blank">into a meme</a> again?" But, I also embrace who I am as I am, and my birthmark is usually pretty good about weeding shallow people out of my life. After hearing from women who have been in makeup since the age of two, and women who have been forced to wear makeup to bed by their husbands - I needed to let the men know that this is me, and I don't feel the need to hide how God has made me. And, as I made the decision to be bluntly honest about my birthmark, I thought, "Well, I've already been a meme once." And I don't want to live in a mindset of fear. I wanted to be me, without the filters - whether they be digitally or cosmetically created.<br />
<br />
My profile bio slightly varies from site to site, but here is the core of all three:<br />
<br />
<i>"I'm a <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/01/god-sized-dreams-sharing-stage-with.html" target="_blank">'God-sized' dreamer</a> filled with humor, compassion, and adventure. I'm a frequent baker, photographer, and traveller. My beat-up passport has taken me to 14 countries - most recently to Taiwan. American Sign Language is my second language, although I'd love to learn Spanish next. I make it a point to laugh every day - even if means laughing at myself...because hey, laughter is the best. My favorite color is blue, unless glitter is an option. Then it's glitter...always, always glitter. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Currently I'm an editor for a news organization in the LA area, but I work from home. Distance isn't an issue for me as I can take my work with me wherever I go.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I'm not like most gals. I mean, no one is exactly the same - which is one thing that makes this world such an incredible, beautiful place. We're all different, I just wear one of my differences on the outside. I have a purple birthmark that has been hanging out on the left side of my face my whole life. My birthmark doesn't define me, but the tales are never ending as it continues to help me grow as a person. I'm 100% open about it and don't feel the need to hide it. I mean, seriously...Purple is one of my favorite colors, and I get to wear it every single day. What's <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/12/12-perks-of-having-purple-birthmark-on.html" target="_blank">not to love</a>? ;-) </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>I'd love to meet someone here who loves a good adventure, has a good sense of humor, and who values their family. Also, someone who sees the beauty and importance of putting God in the middle of the relationship."</i><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Vl3Ksba3RHUbG0Y2whl5P5WitNqz6z9idwE4x3plZvmxXVEswE3i4fY3JkHD7D1ixZNTjNwUEidvSpY2xV1bvkPyEQQCPibdjc0psuzTo39v8mVOAqM_wCb9xfXY8mdZgp7UQepFTfI/s1600/19511360_10213284696975780_2277247306404814162_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Vl3Ksba3RHUbG0Y2whl5P5WitNqz6z9idwE4x3plZvmxXVEswE3i4fY3JkHD7D1ixZNTjNwUEidvSpY2xV1bvkPyEQQCPibdjc0psuzTo39v8mVOAqM_wCb9xfXY8mdZgp7UQepFTfI/s320/19511360_10213284696975780_2277247306404814162_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My profile photo on all the sites.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As I spend time online, connecting with a variety of people, here are some of my thoughts and experiences as an online dating newbie:<br />
<br />
1. <b>Online dating makes me feel like I'm Amazon shopping for men. </b>Though, I have been told I'm a pro and finding awesome things online... So, maybe the odds are in my favor. But, I figure I've met many of my dear friends online - why not a potential future husband?<br />
<br />
2. <b>My photos of my birthmark made a 48-year-old man "tear up," but that's OK.</b> He's an "emotional man." (I'm still trying to figure out why a 48-year-old man was viewing my profile, as a 25-year-old.)<br />
<br />
3. <b>The Christian dating site is a lot quieter than the non-Christian dating site. </b>In the back of my mind, I can't help but wonder if silence is why so many Christian singles I know (including myself) are struggling to find someone.<br />
<br />
4. <b>Within the first discussion, a man insisted to know how much cooking and cleaning I'd do if we got married, and how much money I was willing to contribute for buying a house. </b>When I refused to answer, he replied, "I guess you expect the man to pay for everything." Replying, I told him that I felt he was wanting to get to know my assets before he got to know me, to deem if I were dateable. I then decided I wasn't going to reply to any more of his messages.<br />
<br />
5. <b>After being asked if I wanted to have children one day, a man went on a long rant about how most women only want children so they can "feed off the man the old fashioned way..."</b> and that we need to make sure we don't overwhelm ourselves in the "awful economy."<br />
<br />
6. <b>I've noticed that most men don't like showing happiness or joy in their profile photos, and many "forget" to put on a shirt.</b> Unless their shirt was stolen, then I can't blame them for looking mad. (Smile guys - your smile is much hotter than an angry looking man who forgot to get dressed.)<br />
<br />
7.<b> It's interesting to see what people pick up on their first message.</b> For one, it was that I'm bilingual in sign language. One man also replied that my username made them laugh, and that purple is their favorite color. Both won instant gold stickers for reading my profile...but the second guy got even more props due to instant comfortability with my birthmark.<br />
<br />
8. <b>Holding a conversation with a guy, he asked me, "Have you ever dated a black dude before?"</b> But, it wasn't his first time asking me that question. So, I pointed out his repetitiveness and added, "Have you ever dated a gal with a half a purple face before?" Match.com showed he read the message, but he never replied. Oops.<br />
<br />
9. <b>I felt very awkward sharing with anyone I joined the online dating world.</b> Two weeks in, I finally shared about it with one of my closest of friends, and then a few days later I finally told my mom. After those initial two people, I the nerves were gone and I didn't mind telling anyone else.<br />
<br />
10. <b>Others are open about their medical conditions on their profiles as well.</b> And it doesn't matter whether they have an "invisible" condition or a physical difference. So far I've seen guys open up about their eye patches (due to cancer), vitiligo, epilepsy, and autism.<br />
<br />
11. <b>At least half the men that I've started a conversation with have wanted to instantly figure out our lives together before we even know each other's names. </b>Reading their quickly written, passionate messages, I'm left on my end with a loss of words.<br />
<br />
12. <b>A man wrote on his profile that his aunt, who is a nun, visits regularly. </b>I love a guy with a close family, but I'm still perplexed as to why that was news worthy on his profile.<br />
<br />
13. <b>It's awkward to see someone you know on the same dating site.</b> It shouldn't be. You're single, he's single... and it's 2017. Although, that may just be an awkward thing for me, considering I'm always awkward around people I have a slight interest in - and that includes this guy.<br />
<br />
14. <b>One guy shared on his profile, "I don't judge women by their appearances."</b> But, on a lot of these dating sites, you can get very specific about the kind of person you're looking for. According to his list, he was very particular about the kind of woman he was looking for, ranging from her height, hair and eye color, to her body type.<br />
<br />
15. <b>Online dating makes me question my writing abilities, from my own profile to the messages I send.</b> Do guys not reply because they haven't fully subscribed to the site? Because my profile says I'm an "editor," and I have a typo in the mix? I don't feel natural when I'm in the online dating world, and find myself often fumbling over my keyboard.<br />
<br />
16. <b>I was chatting with a nice guy, until he told me he produces porn.</b> #ByeFelicia<br />
<br />
17.<b> When I asked one man about his faith and if he went to church, he told me, "I do have a church in the area. (I) was more involved in attending services while in a relationship.</b> Maybe (I) just need the direction of a good woman holding my hand and guiding us back into the church together." Yeah, uh, no...That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.<br />
<br />
18. <b>Grammar matters to me more than I realized was possible.</b> (Proof: I edited the message I shared on number 15 before sharing it on my blog.)<br />
<br />
19. <b>Most men don't pay attention that I'm an editor, or maybe they don't care when they type their messages without punctuation or capitalization. </b>And when they message me, I have a hard time turning my editor side off when reading what they send. But, I'm the kind of gal who, when sees a typo on a website, emails the person running it to let them know there is an error.<br />
<br />
20. <b>I've realized it's hard to know when you should give your number, if asked, or when it's OK to ask if you can send yours.</b><br />
<br />
21. <b>Apparently every man online is "funny," according to every profile that is filled out.</b><br />
<br />
22. <b>It's hard to balance people wanting to add me on Facebook, and my thinking, "But I want to blog about you..."</b><br />
<br />
23. <b>On these sites, they have you judge if you want to meet someone by their photo alone. </b>They show the photo online, not sharing their username or giving you the ability to view their profile - until you rank you want to meet them. It feels very shallow to me to judge if I want to meet someone by their looks alone, like some of these sites ask you to do. A guy's appearance is not why I'm on there. Looks are ever fleeting, their foundation and core of who they are is what lasts.<br />
<br />
24. <b>On all three profiles, I told the dating sites I only wanted to date Christian men.</b> I didn't mark any specifics on how much he had to earn, his body type, height, hair color or eye color...I didn't even care about distance. ('Cause you know, I'm the "travelin' chick.") Yet, the two non-Christian ones are constantly sending me profiles of people with different religious beliefs, atheists, and agnostics... Which I think is super odd.<br />
<br />
25. <b>Several guys have written to me to ask, "What happened to your face?"</b> This is another sign that many didn't read my profile.<br />
<br />
Two weeks into the online dating world, that's pretty much the basics of where I'm at - with both my experiences, observations and feelings.<br />
<br />
...But don't worry, I'll keep you posted as I go from an online dating novice to becoming a pro. ;-)<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
CrystalCrystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com284tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-18255145385989356822017-05-26T10:25:00.001-07:002017-05-26T10:25:08.554-07:00What 'Beauty and the Beast' Taught Me as a Child With a Facial Difference<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjISI_qjeh_SKZvB6-rvxYMS8_NcwZlLR0z0zQqJIV6DhsZNEDjjroi5PVskHWkcs2EvV8UyFX95wcqxqpGX6vTsjdbgNQJH4sEFieGQR9Hd0tH2tlyF1lm3ZehyhFw-G9ewEzgWwJgQfk/s1600/15056426_10210978596324705_4498435626511015321_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjISI_qjeh_SKZvB6-rvxYMS8_NcwZlLR0z0zQqJIV6DhsZNEDjjroi5PVskHWkcs2EvV8UyFX95wcqxqpGX6vTsjdbgNQJH4sEFieGQR9Hd0tH2tlyF1lm3ZehyhFw-G9ewEzgWwJgQfk/s320/15056426_10210978596324705_4498435626511015321_n.jpg" width="256" /></a>I finally saw <i>Beauty and the Beast</i> this weekend.<br />
<br />
It was incredible.<br />
<br />
While in recent years I've become an advocate of <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/05/health/movie-villains-skin-dermatology-study/" target="_blank">how villains are portrayed</a> in movies, the 1991 cartoon version of this movie has been a constant favorite in my life.<br />
<br />
I don't remember the first time I saw the movie, but I was young.<br />
<br />
I loved Belle's personality. She had a sense of adventure, daring to be herself - regardless of what the townspeople said about her. Oh, and she loved her books. While they never showed her as a writer, I often pretended in my childhood that she enjoyed holding a pen to a piece of paper as much as I did.<br />
<br />
But, as a child with a facial difference, my reason for loving this movie was so much more than relating to the beautiful Disney princess.<br />
<br />
You see, I was born with a purple port wine stain birthmark that covers half my face. Three in 1,000 have my condition, but as a child, I didn't know anyone else with a facial difference - let alone anyone with the same condition. Facebook support groups for people with birthmarks weren't a thing, and we still had dial-up.<br />
<br />
Watching the movie's story-line unfold in front of me, I was in awe...Especially when Belle fell in love with the Beast.<br />
<br />
Often, as a child, I would forget about my birthmark. Unless someone made a comment, stared, or I had a medical treatment, it wasn't the focus on my life. I was just a kid. I was just like everyone else. I was focused on hanging out with my cousin, watching "Boy Meets World," and building things with my Legos.<br />
<br />
But, in that moment where Belle started to develop feelings for the Beast, I remembered my birthmark. I remembered my unique physical appearance.<br />
<br />
"People who look 'different,' can find love too. Maybe someone will one day fall in love with me," I remember myself thinking.<br />
<br />
At around 6 years old, I don't recall ever worrying about dating or finding love. I don't recall ever wondering if I would ever marry, or if anyone of the opposite gender would ever be able to see past my face's two-shaded skin tone. But as I watched Belle and the Beast fall in love, the thought of love was planted in my mind, and it would never leave.<br />
<br />
I'm now 25 and still very much single. "Beauty and the Beast" still remains my favorite Disney film, but now we have high-speed internet, and Facebook groups for a variety of topics - including some for people with birthmarks like my own.<br />
<br />
Discovering these social media groups for the first time, around the age of 21, I never realized how much I craved to connect with other people with the same condition. I made new friends with similar appearances, with similar stories.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_aaaOjxBGTujAaTZmILoRxQmdcL1CnEmfjquRj5Bq9r2ta4JgAUfTu64b7-fFvwK0SSUVerq8UnWEseEl73KWR2lPptLbguE1qn6TaF5ItkHE5zPXD4KR5J5WlDYXJGALa67fegBUuJI/s1600/Crystal+XXVIII.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_aaaOjxBGTujAaTZmILoRxQmdcL1CnEmfjquRj5Bq9r2ta4JgAUfTu64b7-fFvwK0SSUVerq8UnWEseEl73KWR2lPptLbguE1qn6TaF5ItkHE5zPXD4KR5J5WlDYXJGALa67fegBUuJI/s320/Crystal+XXVIII.jpg" width="227" /></a>Then, one day, the question emerged from my mind, "How many people who look like me have found love? How many are married, or are dating?"<br />
<br />
I then found myself shamelessly clicking from profile to profile, curious on their marital status. My 21 years old, single self needed to know it was possible. I needed to know that the concept of "Beauty and the Beast" wasn't just a Hollywood story-line.<br />
<br />
Last night, I asked my mom, "I know it was a different time with different resources when I was born, but did you ever consider trying to find someone with the same birthmark for me to connect with?"<br />
<br />
She told me that she never thought to ask, as that seemed to be the farthest thing from the doctor's minds.<br />
<br />
And for the first time, I told her about why I truly loved "Beauty and the Beast." I told her, "Growing up, I saw many married couples. But all those couples had typical appearances, none of them looked like me. 'Beauty and the Beast' was the first time I realized that people like myself could find love too."<br />
<br />
As an adult, I see the even deeper connections I feel with the Beast. Like the Beast, society has a hard time seeing past the appearance. Like the Beast, rumors about my appearance travel. Like him, I'm often misunderstood and mistreated - all because of how I look. And also, his name. He's literally known as "the Beast." While several know me by name, as Crystal, strangers often refer to me by my appearance. And even some friends, who have known me my whole life, my name still doesn't go beyond the phrase of, "The girl who has something wrong with her face."<br />
<br />
In a season and society of high expectations where<i> </i>where I've been asked to be on a show called <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2015/07/why-im-not-too-ugly-for-love-or.html" target="_blank"><i>Too Ugly For Love</i></a>,<i> Body Fixers</i>, <i>The Undateable</i>s, and where I've been called "contagious," and "ugly," by<a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2017/03/to-women-who-feel-they-cant-leave-their.html" target="_blank"> blunt strangers</a>....<i>Beauty and the Beast</i> gives me hope. One day, it's possible that I may meet someone who won't "shudder" when they touch "my paw." He may even love both me, and my birthmark - maybe <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/12/12-perks-of-having-purple-birthmark-on.html" target="_blank">just as much as I do.</a> To one man, one day, I may be known as so much more than "the girl who has something wrong with her face."<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
<br />
Crystal<br />
<br />
Side note: As an adult, thinking about the movie through my advocate-tented-glasses, beyond my personal, childhood, experience, there are many other issues I could cover. But, if you'd like to read about those, feel free to check out <a href="http://www.ravishly.com/2017/04/03/beauty-beast-actually-isnt-about-inner-beauty-all" target="_blank">this article</a> by my friend, Carly.<br />
<br />Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-92005030008469865752017-03-31T19:00:00.000-07:002019-04-25T11:44:27.956-07:00To the Woman Who Feels She Can't Leave Her House Without Makeup On<br />
A sweet gal from the Ukraine wrote to me today and shared that she has the same type of birthmark that I have.<br />
<br />
Reading her words, she told me, "I am afraid to leave the house without cosmetics. How do you live without cosmetics? I'm afraid people will laugh at me and don't want to communicate with me."<br />
<br />
I read messages like this on a weekly basis, and my heart breaks...Every. Single. Time.<br />
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My heart breaks, because I get it. I've been in her shoes...Afraid others will laugh, afraid of what others will say.<br />
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In fact, I've been in situations where people have done just that.<br />
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I've had to tell people to stop staring at me, and they've laughed as they continue their forever-long, awkward gaze.<br />
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A woman working at a well-known department store <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/02/i-look-just-fine.html" target="_blank">once refused to talk to me</a> the whole time I sat in her cosmetics chair, as she put makeup on my face...Once I sat in her chair, she instantly switched gears and chose to only speak to to my mom. Sitting in her chair, she began to only see me as a birthmark, forgetting to see me as a person. Instead of feeling beautiful after my makeover, I left our session with a broken heart and my confidence feeling depleted.<br />
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People have told me I must be contagious, and they've even cursed in reaction to my face.<br />
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In addition, <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/08/the-face-that-went-viral.html" target="_blank">my image was once stolen</a>, commented on by thousands of strangers writing their unkind words and opinions next to my unknown face, on the unexpected, popular Facebook post.<br />
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My heart breaks that this has to even be an issue in society - regardless of the country and culture people are born into.<br />
<br />
But here's the thing...<br />
<br />
In my journey, I've learned a lot.<br />
<br />
When I went viral to over 30 million people, and endured some intense cyberbullying, I questioned many things. I remember asking myself, "Am I making life more difficult by not covering my birthmark? Should I be investing in the expensive, uncomfortable makeup, made for conditions like mine?"<br />
<br />
It took a while, and with the help of my family and friends, I finally came to an important "ah-ha" moment.<br />
<br />
A little foundation on my cheeks can't be the foundation of my confidence. That is not where my identity lies.<br />
<br />
I mean, don't get me wrong. I like makeup. It's artsy and I think it's quite fun. Plenty of makeup brands sit in my own cabnent. But, I've always been taught that makeup is meant to enhance our natural beauty - not to hide it.<br />
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I am so much more than my birthmark on my face, and honestly - I think it's beautiful. Some have told me that it reminds them of a heart. Others have told me they love the ombre affect, and all the colors mixed within it.<br />
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I think it's beautiful, and hope the whole world sees it the same way one day.<br />
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And most of all? I've learned that with every cruel person, there are at least two or more people <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfoGmpDh4wY" target="_blank">who are kind</a>. People <a href="https://www.babble.com/parenting/crystal-hodges-shares-encounter-with-stranger-to-empower-others-with-birthmarks/" target="_blank">who are encouraging</a> me on my journey, who see beyond my obvious difference.<br />
<br />
Maybe you're in the same situation as the gal who messaged me - and maybe you don't even have a birthmark like ours. Maybe you've struggled with accepting your natural appearance, afraid to leave the house without a few layers of makeup on your face.<br />
<br />
I've heard from a lot of people over the last few years, and I know she's not the only one who struggles with the same topic. Better yet, I know I'm not the only one who has struggled with the topic. Overtime, I've heard from woman who have been put in makeup at the age of two (yes - you read that right), and from women who's husbands have forced them to wear makeup to bed.<br />
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Ladies, I'm sorry that society has told us that we aren't acceptable to go out into the world just as we are.<br />
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I'm sorry that others have twisted the concept of beauty, turning it into a competitive sport, rather than treating us as a one-of-a-kind, priceless gem that we are.<br />
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I'm sorry there is an industry that has made millions off of our insecurities.<br />
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I apologize that it hasn't been reinforced enough that we can see the beauty in others, without tearing ourselves down in the process.<br />
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I wish we weren't handed a box on the day we are born, one full of society's unrealistic expectations...One that we feel we have to tightly squeeze into for the rest of our lives.<br />
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But hey. Guess what?<br />
<br />
You're right. Others <i>are</i> beautiful...But can I tell you a secret?<br />
<br />
Just because we see the beauty in other people, that doesn't make our beauty any less.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2027:17" target="_blank">Iron sharpens iron</a>, remember?<br />
<br />
Regardless of what others and the world may try to tell you...<br />
<br />
You are beautiful. (Or swagful, if you're a dude reading this.)<br />
<br />
You are unique.<br />
<br />
You are one-of-a kind.<br />
<br />
You are beautifully and wonderfully made.<br />
<br />
You are a rockstar in the skin you're in.<br />
<br />
...And I hope you never forget that.<br />
<br />
The Travelin Chick,<br />
Crystal<br />
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Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-19034443220457421342017-03-02T22:30:00.000-08:002017-03-23T23:21:01.691-07:00Whole Foods Market Makeup ReviewDid you know that Whole Foods Market sells vegan, gluten free makeup?<br />
<br />
Yeah, I didn't either. And actually, I didn't even know vegan and gluten free makeup was even a thing...Not until recently.<br />
<br />
Since learning about this type of makeup, I've had people laugh it off while asking, "Why would they make makeup gluten and vegan free?"<br />
<br />
When I learned of it, I didn't laugh it off, but was confused as well. But then my friend told me why it was important to gals like herself.<br />
<br />
My new friend has <a href="https://themighty.com/celiac-disease/" target="_blank">celiac disease</a>. Her conditions prevents her from eating anything gluten related, or even being touched by it. Her whole body reacts, from her digestive system to her skin. She was telling me about a time when her sister, who doesn't have celiac disease, was spraying her hair with a new hairspray. Shortly after, my friend and her mom (who also has celiac) were both having reactions on their skin.<br />
<br />
Turns out, the hairspray had wheat in it - and it travelled through their house's vents, sharing the fumes with everyone within it.<br />
<br />
Speaking at an event at Whole Foods, I had the privilege of testing out some of their makeup before the event. Now, while I taught about topics like beauty on my blog - I am far from being a makeup guru or blogger. My review will come from the mindset of a gal with limited makeup knowledge, who still wears the same makeup her best friend told her to buy when she was standing in an aisle at Target at 17, buying makeup for the very first time...totally clueless.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZrfpgOykelhyFdZCICEYYb6xWhMbXRs-L91lSkwKAealM15EoEpt-JDqeoIB3vH8ZdXtl-0b-NrXaU-s79FzE50BGK-wp9AB4G8qWgJC-2dGF2Ncq9G05GQ1bTes_sW7_WkKujIhqsBQ/s1600/IMG_8299.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZrfpgOykelhyFdZCICEYYb6xWhMbXRs-L91lSkwKAealM15EoEpt-JDqeoIB3vH8ZdXtl-0b-NrXaU-s79FzE50BGK-wp9AB4G8qWgJC-2dGF2Ncq9G05GQ1bTes_sW7_WkKujIhqsBQ/s400/IMG_8299.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All the products of my choice. I tried to stick to the same brand for everything,<br />
for consistance purposes. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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1. <b>Mineral Fusion foundation:</b> Wowzers. This felt great on my skin. I've tried brands that leave my skin feel like they are suffocating. But this? It felt like, and instantly felt more on the natural side. Because of my birthmark, I do have to watch out for sun exposure, so I did ask if the foundation had any sunscreen in the ingredients. The sweet gal at Whole Foods told me that it didn't, but that the minerals used would help protect my skin in a more natural way.<br />
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2. <b>Mineral Fusion powder:</b> This stuff was great, however, it didn't have it's own applicator included. The first time I tried the makeup, I was in a hotel, far from a local Target or CVS. Luckily, I had my regular compact with me, which had the applicator in it. So, the downer is, while I think the coloring looked good - I don't know how much of it was from my usual makeup choice, or how much was from the Mineral Fusion. I also wasn't sure if they mixed together too much. That being said, while it looked and felt great - I'm not sure how much of it was because of the Mineral Fusion alone. Also, knowing the price of this makeup and how it compares to the price of my makeup from Target, I'm confused why a basic applicator isn't included. I've tried about four or five makeup brands in my life, and this was a first for me. (I'm not doing a star rating for the products, but if I were and it was based off a five star concept...This would take the review down to about 3.5 stars. But I like simplicity, and as someone who travels a lot, I like having things like this together.)</div>
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3. <b>Mineral Fusion blush:</b> Oh, what a great color! I loved the way this looked, and was pleased with this product.</div>
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<br /></div>
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4. <b>Mineral Fusion eyeliner:</b> LOVED this. This was the first time I've ever tried a liquid eyeliner, but I was in-love with it by the first stroke. Granted, I still need a lot of practice using liquid versus what I'm accustomed to, but if I can get the hang of it - I will totally be buying a liquid form again.</div>
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5. <b>Mascara:</b> I liked the mascara. Pro? It looks a lot cleaner than the kind I've used from Target. Less clumps, less mess. Con? I couldn't get it to pop as much I would prefer. It came off onto my lashes on the light side.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm76D3u8Y7ahcaSwXrXw50eer8E2xHnF9-L8QhxYVoyn5AGoBH0OSEMiLgsuUkKlQ1WRxiXSQcFwuWywyEGmlz8_Sdf5oONCfx_QSvR5P9LmfR9iQ8nEYwUIe3mlDRSesOiTTPBqQNO1E/s1600/IMG_8308.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm76D3u8Y7ahcaSwXrXw50eer8E2xHnF9-L8QhxYVoyn5AGoBH0OSEMiLgsuUkKlQ1WRxiXSQcFwuWywyEGmlz8_Sdf5oONCfx_QSvR5P9LmfR9iQ8nEYwUIe3mlDRSesOiTTPBqQNO1E/s400/IMG_8308.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here I am, wearing the new makeup.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
All-in-all, I like how the makeup feels and looks. I also love the concept of wearing all-natural products. All the products were great and I was super impressed. The only two that lacked in some way were the mascara and powder. Had the powder had an applicator? I'm confident it would hit the highest rating.<br />
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Since this is a review, I will disclose full honesty. I'm a 25-year-old adult and only work part-time. While there is great power in the look of the makeup, the feel, and knowing it's natural...I won't be back to purchase it any time soon. I simply cannot afford makeup that averages $17-$35 per product. However, it's not completely off my list of future possible products to consider purchasing. I'll definitely be keeping Whole Foods and their variety of makeup products in mind for the future, when it is within my price range, or on-sale. (Which, if you live in the Central Valley in California - the Fresno store has a sale taking place THIS month!)<br />
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I know many of you have skin conditions, like I have my port wine stain birthmark, so I did inquire about the products for those of you looking to coverup. I very seldom choose to cover my birthmark, and meant to at least try before putting this up. However, the lady who helped me pick out my products told me that the intent of this makeup is not to completely hide skin conditions such as my vascular birthmark. She predicted that it would not achieve that goal, if that was what I wanted to do. She still recommended using Merle Norman, Derma Blend, or other like products if that it the purpose of its use.</div>
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The Travelinchick,</div>
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Crystal<br />
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Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-55439688984293577472017-02-06T09:05:00.002-08:002017-02-06T09:10:59.330-08:00Valentine's Day Giveaway (2017)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbIJ-4Fpq4KgxQUYlogKd6ZidfXElc0bbPK0OsxbBmiX72ZyBU0TllLY4ZhO3ZgVdp6FIF07YSw3-7yHg1mHQiUmRpwpu7HzpuFSoVxj_tJTVE_qu1Zt4ey4pP-LunzrHyOpsYc3TPRFI/s1600/IMG_8144.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbIJ-4Fpq4KgxQUYlogKd6ZidfXElc0bbPK0OsxbBmiX72ZyBU0TllLY4ZhO3ZgVdp6FIF07YSw3-7yHg1mHQiUmRpwpu7HzpuFSoVxj_tJTVE_qu1Zt4ey4pP-LunzrHyOpsYc3TPRFI/s320/IMG_8144.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's almost Valentine's Day, and last year around this time, I did something fun that I really enjoyed <br />
doing as a blogger.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/02/be-my-valentine-giveaway.html" target="_blank">Just like last year</a>, I want YOU to be my Valentine.<br />
<br />
You might be wondering, "How can I be your Valentine??" Fair question.<br />
<br />
Because Valentine's Day is the 14th of February, I'm going to list 14 items that I love - and I'm going to giveaway an item to TWO of my readers. (Maybe you??)<br />
<br />
<b>Here are the rules to enter the giveaway:</b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><b>"Like" my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick/" target="_blank">Crystal Hodges page</a></b> on Facebook. (If you've already done this - thank you! You can skip to rule #2 and #3.)</li>
<li><b>Write on my Facebook post</b> that links to this blog entry,<b> and tell me which item you'd like to receive</b>. (If you're torn between a few of the items - don't fret. Just list the items you're interested in...If you're picked, I will surprise you with one of them!)</li>
<li><b>Share this blog post</b> with your friends.</li>
</ul>
<br />
On February 10th, 2017 (at 5 pm California time), I'll pick two people. Once I pick the two people, I'll announce their names <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick/" target="_blank">on my Facebook page</a> and I will then private message those selected, requesting their address.<br />
<br />
And in case you're wondering....Yes, I am including my international friends in this giveaway! :-)<br />
<br />
This is one way of thanking you for playing such a huge part in my journey. You've spent your time reading my blog, encouraging, and supporting me. This is the least I can do to thank you for being one of my 'people'.<br />
<br />
Okay...So, what are 14 of my favorite things from the last 12 months?<br />
<ol>
<li>Book: <a href="http://amzn.to/2j6hBE3" target="_blank">Finding Your Voice</a> by Natalie Grant</li>
<li>Flavored Pistachios (Pick a flavor: Chili Lemon, Guacamole, Jalapeño, or Chipotle They're a California specialty!)</li>
<li>Travel Coffee Mug: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jK6Ysm" target="_blank">Camera Lens</a></li>
<li>Movie: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jRy42R" target="_blank">A Brave Heart: The Lizzie Velasquez Story</a> </li>
<li>Game: <a href="http://amzn.to/2j6qKfG" target="_blank">Five Crowns Card Game</a></li>
<li>Book: <a href="http://amzn.to/2ktSxuV" target="_blank">Nothing to Prove: Why We Can Stop Trying So Hard</a> by Jennie Allen</li>
<li><a href="http://amzn.to/2k9SDW4" target="_blank">Bicycle Pizza Cutter</a></li>
<li>Children's Book: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jUPjkf" target="_blank">Adventures with Barefoot Critters</a> by Teagan White</li>
<li>Cookie Cutter: <a href="http://amzn.to/2j6jlgs" target="_blank">I Love You (ASL)</a></li>
<li>CD: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jUIyit" target="_blank">Love Remains</a> by Hilary Scott & The Scott Family</li>
<li>Book: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jUIi3b" target="_blank">Uninvited</a> by Lysa TerKeurst</li>
<li>Movie: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jxLiTK" target="_blank">Pete's Dragon</a></li>
<li>CD: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jUzJ8m" target="_blank">Britt Nicole (Deluxe Edition)</a> by Britt Nicole</li>
<li>Coffee Mug: <a href="http://amzn.to/2jRxBxx" target="_blank">Oh, Snap!</a> </li>
</ol>
<br />
Thanks again for being such great friends and for reading my blog. I'm thankful for you, and I can't wait to celebrate Valentine's Day with you.<br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
CrystalCrystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4477506925987494086.post-35998369909988861292017-01-06T11:03:00.001-08:002017-01-06T15:55:55.625-08:00Recognizing Beauty in the Brokenness: K-LOVE Radio Interview<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_z12aFopkmu3oEdTFFxFaOC4fIP__Ez-qBH-AypUTv7ljLcusV4Xv2uXvw_zG-es5wWYcfctdpTii1upRGK_0WfTX4-eAdBGafTiMZnTocU-Y43sseWzq28nkFaK8F_LoB5af7Xbe0q0/s1600/edited4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_z12aFopkmu3oEdTFFxFaOC4fIP__Ez-qBH-AypUTv7ljLcusV4Xv2uXvw_zG-es5wWYcfctdpTii1upRGK_0WfTX4-eAdBGafTiMZnTocU-Y43sseWzq28nkFaK8F_LoB5af7Xbe0q0/s320/edited4.jpg" width="320" /></a>It's no secret that I'm a big dreamer...A "God-sized dreamer".<br />
<br />
One of my many God-sized dreams was to share my story with K-LOVE Radio...<a href="http://www.klove.com/news/2017/01/06/god-turns-cyberbullying-into-a-platform-for-true-beauty/" target="_blank">And today that dream became a God-sized reality</a>.<br />
<br />
When I first became a <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2014/08/the-face-that-went-viral.html" target="_blank">meme and went viral</a> to over 30 million people - all because of my physical difference (a port wine stain birthmark - and Sturge-Weber Syndrome), I struggled; and I'm sure reading over 30,000 comments from total strangers probably didn't help much.<br />
<br />
Pain overwhelmed my heart, and I had some incredibly dark days. Many days I knew God would create something beautiful from the ugly situation I found myself in. But there were days where I could only focus on the cracks that temporarily shattered my heart.<br />
<br />
Although my heart has done a lot of healing, I still vividly remember the initial struggle. I remember the pain, I remember how my journey took a drastic change two years ago.<br />
<br />
Every time God takes one of my dreams and turns it into reality, I can't help but feel all the emotions...especially the sense of being overwhelmed with his love and purpose for my life.<br />
<br />
The Japanese culture has a special tradition when certain things break...and while many may think this is a stretch - I feel God's response to our broken hearts is similar to their tradition.<br />
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When <a href="http://makezine.com/2015/08/17/kintsugi-japanese-art-recognizing-beauty-broken-things/" target="_blank">items break in Japan</a>, "instead of tossing these pieces in the trash, some craftsmen practice the 500-year-old art of kintsugi, or 'golden joinery', which is a method of restoring a broken piece with a lacquer that is mixed with gold, silver, or platinum."<br />
<br />
They do this to celebrate that items history, its story, its worth. Even though it breaks, they still see it's value, adding even more value to the cracks with gold or silver - while most cultures have a tendency to just throw the broken things out.<br />
<br />
But I feel God reacts in a similar way to our brokenness, if we stay willing and allow him to do so. He recognizes the beauty in our brokenness, and He honors it. While our brokenness and cracks often make us feel worthless and damaged, he can fill in our gaps with a valuable, irreplaceable, beauty - like the Japanese do with the broken items and gold. We feel like our value is gone, but God's saying, "just you wait and see."<br />
<br />
Being cyberbullied and mocked for my appearance was shattering. Yet, there's no way I could have ever imagined all that He had planned for the two years to follow: having a key group of friends surround me and lift me back up, <a href="http://www.thetravelinchick.com/2016/01/god-sized-dreams-sharing-stage-with.html" target="_blank">sharing the stage with Natalie Grant</a>, <a href="http://www.klove.com/news/2017/01/06/god-turns-cyberbullying-into-a-platform-for-true-beauty/" target="_blank">interviewing with K-LOVE</a>, going on the TD Jakes Show (which aired on OWN: Oprah Winfery Network), being interviewed by <a href="http://people.com/bodies/crystal-hodges-port-wine-stain-birthmark/" target="_blank">People Magazine</a>, amongst many other things? Wow...What beauty.<br />
<br />
If you're reading this and find yourself in dark times, fumbling around to find a light switch - know that I am praying for you. I pray you'll hold on tight, and stay willing and ready for God to use you and your story - as He fills your cracks and brokenness with golds and silvers.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikU9_ujFSPI7ogycGTmSb8FwQpUSVuWf1Djva1d9e-IVyn4BoOGqacefVhfA7NoaLO32Ixiewg3NN84rthh-RRQynVygiEyfOQhWBLMtowkQg5JgkxAG8Zei6M8MPgG6-T0F7Da8VEQ0I/s1600/Screen+Shot+2016-12-17+at+12.43.06+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikU9_ujFSPI7ogycGTmSb8FwQpUSVuWf1Djva1d9e-IVyn4BoOGqacefVhfA7NoaLO32Ixiewg3NN84rthh-RRQynVygiEyfOQhWBLMtowkQg5JgkxAG8Zei6M8MPgG6-T0F7Da8VEQ0I/s320/Screen+Shot+2016-12-17+at+12.43.06+AM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
K-LOVE is one of my all-time favorite radio stations that I grew up with, and they're doing some incredible things around the world. I hope that I can work with them in the future, as more doors begin to open. (And trust me - I think 2017 is going to be a BIG year with BIG, beautiful things to come.)<br />
<br />
It's always been my goal to "make a difference with my difference" - and I'm so thankful for the opportunity to do so with K-LOVE.<br />
<br />
Thank you, K-LOVE, for the opportunity, and for creating some beauty with my on-going story.<br />
<br />
Check out the article they've written about my story. Also included is one of my videos, a link to my blog, and my interview with them is listed at the bottom:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.klove.com/news/2017/01/06/god-turns-cyberbullying-into-a-platform-for-true-beauty/" target="_blank">http://www.klove.com/news/2017/01/06/god-turns-cyberbullying-into-a-platform-for-true-beauty/</a><br />
<br />
The Travelin' Chick,<br />
Crystal Hodges<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Follow me on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thetravelin_chick/">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/travelin_chick">Twitter</a>, and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/travelinchick/">Facebook</a>. You can also find me on Snapchat: crystal.hodges</i>Crystal Hodgeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12327800713159423674noreply@blogger.com76