Celebrating Life

Usually I'm not big on skipping class.  If you miss one class session, you may miss a whole lot of what you need to know.

However, at the same time - I'm big on celebrating life. (And probably even bigger on the idea after my year of "2011".) This weekend I am going to Disneyland!  Even though it's 4 months later, I am finally going to go to celebrate my 21st birthday!!  I am excited to go out of town to the "happiest place on earth".  I'll be going with my uncle, aunt, 2-year-old cousin, mom, and grandma.

The original plan was to leave tomorrow after two out of my three classes were done so we could go and spend the day at Disneyland on Friday.  However...My mind has been changed.  Instead, I am skipping classes.  The pull of Disneyland and having a good time with family won me over.

At least I'm doing well in my classes...Right?

Disneyland, here I come!

It's like having a birthday all over again. :-)

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

PS: Or how I put on Facebook:

"Tonight I am declaring my tomorrow (Thursday) and Friday an official personal holiday. On this holiday I not only permit, but encourage, myself to skip all classes taking place at college. School work is not allowed to be a part of my life until Monday. I must laugh and smile a lot while having tons of fun this weekend...Making memories in celebration of my 21st birthday - even 4 months after the big day. Maybe I'll even meet my "Prince Charming" while I'm away this weekend. (A girl can dream - right???) ;-)

Disneyland, here we come!!!!!!"

Memories from a Melody

There's a country song on the radio with lyrics that say, "Funny how a melody sounds like a memory".

Since arriving home from the U.K., I find this part of the song to be true.  There are songs I hear on the radio or on my own iPod that take me back to London.  (Although, even without music, there are days when I'm physically in California - but mentally back in London.)  There are songs that remind me of different people and different experiences.  The other night, a worship song we used in London a few times came on the radio.  Tears came to my eyes as I started to think about London and all that I was a part of, what God is doing, and when I started to think of my team and friends.

The other day I was really struggling with being back home.  I know I'm suppose to be home - there is no question about this.

As I was struggling, I decided to pull out my journal and write.  I've been a horrible writer these days by not writing much (as I'm sure as you can tell by how often I have been posting here).  I really want to write more, and hope to break this habit.  So, as I sat there, journal and pen in hand, I made a list.  Actually - I made two lists.

My first list was about "Things I Miss about London".  My second list was, "Things I don't miss about London".  I thought that this would help my mind sort out some of my experiences and how I am now feeling...To process things that had happened and are currently now going on as I adapt to live back at home.

The list of things I miss is WAY longer than the things I don't miss.  Here are a few of the things on that list...

1. Having an unending amount of ways and chances to step out of my comfort zone.
2. Learning a word or two in many different languages.
3. Hearing people's stories from around the world - and what God is doing in their life!
4. Teaching English to my flat-mates and others I worked with!
5. Korean food. ;-)
6. My flat-mates.
7. Leaving post-it notes for my desk buddy!
8. Flat game nights, especially when one of the married couples on our team would join us for dinner and the game time!
9. Sunday mornings with on of my flat-mates.  She and I had the whole morning with just the two of us, being able to chat and catch up on a more personal level.  (We rode the bus together as we went to the same British church.)
10. Swiss Chocolate
11. The tube.
12. The challenge of it all.  (It's a good kind of challenge.  A challenge of adapting, learning, and stepping out of your comfort zone.)
13. The church I worked with on Sunday evenings.
14. Big Ben at night time.
15. Team Devotions!
16. Inside Jokes.  (To bring up a few??  Knock-Knock Jokes, Peanut Butter Kit-Kats, Peanut butter, and mismatched socks.)
17. Making videos and taking photos for my teammates. 
18. British accents.
19. Prayer nights where we all got together to pray for countries around the world and for issues such as human trafficking. 
20. The work we were doing there.
21. The free museums.
22. Being involved with sharing people's experiences, stories, and what God was doing during my time there, with supporters and prayer partners!
23. London's variety of Haagen Das ice cream (best brand EVER).
24. The mannequin in our building that we would occasionally put in someone's room.
25. Learning of British Culture.
26. Old, gorgeous, British churches!
27. Learning British English - verbal and written forms.
28. All the laughter from living in an international community and having a good, tight-knit, group of friends.
29. Introducing international friends to Butterfingers and Corn Bread!  (Thanks the the many  care packages I got from home!)
30. The whole experience.

This is less than 1/5 of my list.  A list that could have gone on, and on, and on, and on...

I still think of London at least once a day. Then, there are days when I can't get the city, the work, and my friends out of my mind.  Again, I know I am meant to be home.  However, 6 months of my life was spent in this city with this team...With a team that became very dear to my heart.  I came home changed because of the whole experience.

Although I miss London and my friends, and everything taking place there, I remind myself on a daily bases, "Crystal - you are so blessed.  You are so blessed to have a group of friends and an experience that you miss so much...to have people and memories so dear to your heart!!  Not everyone is so lucky to have the chance to miss so many people and memories to reminisce about."

If you want to keep me in your prayers still, please do!  You can pray for me as I sometimes feel like I'm still readapting and find ways in which I've changed.  You can pray for me as am back in school, hoping to finish college in the next 2-3 years.  Pray for me as I discover God's future plans for my life.  (Which I've recently started to have a little understanding of, but do not want to post publicly, as things can always change.  After all, I still have to finish college in the next few years - and anything can happen between now and receiving my diploma.)

Also, pray for London.  Although I have returned home, I am still in prayer for this city- and I hope you are too.  Pray for the continued work in the city...pray God will use Christians in London to love their neighbours around them, and as they share God's love and Message!

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

What's Next??

I've been home a little over a month now.  I took time to heal from whatever mystery illness I had overseas (from my hospitalization in Norway) and from jet lag.  I gained my energy and strength back and went to youth camp with our church's teen girls as their counselor. (Which is always a highlight of my year!) Right after camp, I did a presentation on my time in London at my home church.

Since returning home I have been asked many times, "So, what is next?  What is after London?"  Well, here is an overview...

Before leaving for London I was still attending college.  I knew when I returned home, I would also have to return to college.  Today I started back in my classes.  I got lucky in the fact that I don't have any classes at all on Mondays or Fridays, and only one night class on Wednesdays.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are pretty much filled with three classes.

The different thing about this semester is...I am excited.  I am excited to go to classes again, to hopefully meet new friends, and just to be back in school.  The last time I was excited about college was around the fall and spring semesters of 2009/2010.  (And this has to do with many different reasons...going to a new school after attending a Christian college, family emergencies and struggles, etc...)

It really does feel good to be back in classes.  A month filled with "nothing to do" is a bit much for me - especially after 6 months of going, going, going!  I think I've been missing interaction with peers, having some kind of challenge in my life, learning, being more productive, etc.

Being in London also gave me a taste of what life can be like once I am done with college.  It gave me the motivation to finish what I started and more of a desire to get my degree.  While going to college is normal, college isn't really "normal" life - unless you are a career student...and I'm ready to be done with this phase in my life.  (Not that I want to wish my life away...That's not what I mean at all.  I've been in college for a few years and am ready to move onto other adventures for God that can be longer term vs short-term, like my time in London.)

On top of college, I also am planning to speak to churches about London and the ministry they helped support.

Some of you may also remember that I had to have ankle surgery before going to London.  Some of you may know, but some of you may not...But I need to have another ankle surgery.  I'm pretty much a candidate of an ankle replacement, but for many reasons, I am avoiding that option at all costs.  Tomorrow I will be having a phone appointment with my doctor to discuss options that I have that will give me the best outcomes...and I am hoping to do this within the next couple of months.  (This may only require one surgery, but it also may require more.)  Funny thing is...I'm also excited about this too.  I suppose most people dread surgeries, but I'm just ready to have a better functioning ankle that I can rely on.  It's been an ongoing issue for a few years and I am ready for it to be dealt with.

As a summary, my main things that are next are:

1. Finish college!
2. Ankle Surgery...
3. Speaking at churches about London...
4. I didn't mention it above - but my parents put their house on the market!  Hopefully it'll sell soon and we can move!

There are a few other things I'm also praying about and strongly considering for my future.  I'm not really sure where God is guiding me, but that's all part of the adventure of life!  Most of what I am praying about would more likely take place once I finish college (or possibly during a summer for one of the things I'm praying about)...We'll see where God leads!

So...What are YOU up to these days??

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

PS: Did I mention that I am also going to Disneyland to celebrate my 21st birthday?? :-D

Beautiful Norway

I've been home for a week now.  I've fallen behind on blogging, and have so much I need to write (at some point, but probably not today).

Most of you know that before I came home, my mom came to see me in London.  As I ended my time working she came to see where I had been living and to meet those that I've been working, living, and building friendships with during the last six months.  We spent a week touring parts of London, partaking in parts of team life, as well as packing my two suitcases to come home.

My mother and I then had a vacation planned.  However, this vacation?  It did not go as planned!  We ended up going on our own adventure that was completely unexpected.  Long story short...I ended up really sick (I've never been so sick in my life!) and hospitalized in the country of Norway.  (Being hospitalized in Norway...That's something to kick off the bucket list, right??)

From what I could see out of the ambulance, Norway looks like a beautiful country!  I'd actually like to return one day to visit and to see more of the country outside of the hospital walls.  In my hospital room, I did have quite the view though!  The sun didn't go down until nearly midnight.  At one point in the morning, I remember waking up (probably around 4 a.m.), and the sky was literally purple.  I've never seen anything quite like it.  It would have made quite the picture had I not been feeling too lousy to take one!

All my doctors and nurses were really nice.  They were all tall and blonde...and they spoke English really well!  I can't remember how long I was in the hospital...If it was one night or two...But I remember a nurse coming in my room in the early hours to check on me.  I hadn't met this nurse yet, and when she woke me up she said something.  Being half asleep and confused, I couldn't understand her.  My response was, "huh?"  She repeated herself.  Once again, I said, "Huh?"  She then repeated herself again...and then it hit me.  I told her, "Oh, I only speak English!"  I had forgotten I was in another country where English is not their first language.

Apparently hospitals in Oslo (the city we were in) rotate every month on which one takes the foreigners.  Again, they on I ended up was really great and the doctors were wonderful.  (The hospital I was in is actually a Christian hospital.)  Someone asked me, "Were you scared?  Were you scared to be in the hospital, sick, and overseas?"  I told them, "Honestly?  No...I wasn't."  I think I was too tired and feeling too horrible to be scared, but I also somehow knew there wasn't really a reason to be scared.  After all, God was/is in control - even if there was a problem that had required surgery.

Really, any energy I had was spent on wanting to go home.  The funny thing is, I told God, "I just want to go home...California or London!"  After I said that, I thought, "Wait - when did I start considering London home??"  I knew that it had become in some ways, but didn't realize that it had become home even in these kinds of moments.  (Maybe it had to do with the comfort of knowing I had friends who would be there if anything was truly wrong...I'm not sure...But I think that had something to do with it.)

Not only was I not scared because I lacked energy, but I knew that I had family and friends praying for me!  I got messages from friends around the world telling me that they were praying for me.  Messages ranged from California, the Philippines, London, Japan, Tennessee, Spain...The list goes on.  God has blessed me with really great friends, family members, and prayer partners!

For those of you who prayed, thank you so much!  You are a blessing.  I am home now and have just about gotten back to my normal self.  There wasn't anything wrong found that concerns the doctors here in California, or in Norway.

Now I'm working on adapting to my home in California.  If you'd like to continue to pray for me, pray for the adapting process.

Until next time!

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

...And I smiled.

Today was a rainy day in London.  (Go figure.)

We had planned to have a book table and to pass out portions of Gospel literature.  Due to the rain, and because we had a small team today, we decided to spend time in a mall where it was dry.  While in the mall our goal was to talk to people we saw sitting on a bench, or in a store looking at that really cute purse (which, I totally just wrote as "person" instead of "purse"...you know it's late when...).

While in one of the stores I was in the check-out line to purchase a very British and slightly discounted book for my baby cousin.  As I got to the front of the line, I said to the cashier, "Hello!  How are you doing today?  How is your day?"  A few silent seconds went by before she responded to me.  Looking up from the register with a puzzled look on her face, she looked up at me and asked, "Are you talking to me??"

Shocked at her response, I told her, "Of course!  How is your day going?"  She told me, "Oh...It's going okay.  I just started work.  But...Customers never ask how my day is going...I wasn't expecting that."

During the day I didn't get into any "deep conversations" about God.  However, I think that's okay.  As my friend said today, "Sometimes it's just about showing up for duty and being willing to be used for God."  God will take care of the rest if you show up.

Plus, I think days like this are okay.  Sometimes I think it's about showing people God's love by just a simple smile and a question of, "How are you doing today?"  or, "How is your day going so far?"

How many people go through the day without receiving a smile?  Without being asked if they are doing okay?  Without a person to show that they care - even just a little bit?

Yes, we should speak about God's love.  There is no question about that!  But days like today?  We didn't speak about God's love, instead, we showed it.  We let our lights shine for His glory.  I may have asked a simple question or given a 5 second smile, but who knows what God can do with a few simple caring words or friendly facial expression.

Today I didn't get into any deep conversations about God...But I showed up for duty, and I smiled.

Who are you showing God's love to today??

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

British English Vs. American English

Recently I had a conversation with a British friend who is part of our group for a month.  As we were talking, I asked her, "Are you fixin' to leave?"  (Yes, I am from California I said "fixin to"...I sometimes surprise myself when I say that phrase.)  Looking at me with a confused facial expression, she said, "I have no idea what you just said.  What does that even mean?"  Then I had to translate my momentary Southern American English to "normal American" English.

A few weeks back I was talking to my mom on Skype.  I told her how I had some left over chips, so I put them in the fridge to eat at a later time.  Confused, she asked, "Why did you put your chips in the fridge?????"  Then I remembered - chips in America are not the same as the chips in England!

What are some other differences between American and British English?  I've started a collection of words and phrases that differ and thought I would post some for you to enjoy yourself!

(Left word will be British, and the right word will be translated into American.)

• Mate - Friend
• Flat - Apartment
• Tea Towel - What you use to dry your dishes
• Nappy - Diaper
• Lift - Elevator
• Jumper - Sweater
• Jim-Jams - Pajamas (I think this one is my all time favorite!)
• Crisps - Chips
• Chips - French Fries
• Candy Floss - Cotton Candy
• Finz - Gold Fish (You have nooo idea how excited I was to find my favorite snack!!)
• Straight Away - Right away (For example, "I need to do my homework straight away/right away!)
• Mobile - Cell Phone
• Mum - Mom
• Rubbish - Trash
• Courgette - Zucchini
• Trolley - Shopping Cart/Buggy
• Queue - Line
• Trousers - Pants
• Pants - Underwear (Often I use the phrase, "Put on your big boy/girl pants and deal with it!"...I guess either translation works with the word "pants", but I work really hard to remember to say trousers instead!)
• Cinema or Film - Movies (Apparently this word is very American.)

Some of those words I've noticed myself adapting to, but also the words, "proper" (Example: "Do you have the proper book for this assignment?")  and "brilliant".  And just like my British friend had to tell me, "I have no idea what you just said"...There are times when the situation is reversed.  Sometimes I look at my British friends with the same confused look with the question of, "What does that even mean?"  Sometimes figuring out what food products are called here are even an adventure (such as the zucchini being called a "courgette").

I hope you've enjoyed your first lesson on British English Vs. American English.  If I remember, I'll try to share more with you another time.  I only wish I could tell you how to pronounce words that America and England have in common.  The only one I can explain easily on my blog and in written form is the word "idea".  Many British people I've heard use this word say, "idear" instead.  A lot of their "er" parts in words also turn into an "a".  For example, "Jumper" would sound more like "Jumpa" ("Did you bring your jumpa?").

Now that you've learned some of their phrases and words, it is time to start practicing your British accent.  Maybe you can do better than me!  Apparently, I am "rubbish" at imitating how the British speak! ;-)

The Travelin' Chick,

Crystal

Anger with God

“I can’t…I can’t love or forgive myself…I just can’t.”

Sitting in a local café in London, I was talking with a lady from Romania (that we will call “Valerie”).  Before I even met her I could tell she was hurting and broken.  By her facial expressions, body language, etc, I could tell that she carried a heavy weight of pain in her life.

Valerie already knew on of my Korean friend whom was also a part of the conversation in the café.  In fact, my Korean friend talked to her all day and I was only able to talk to her for two hours, as I was committed to be at our book table and couldn’t stay the whole time. 

During the two hours I spent with Valerie I couldn’t help but notice how my heart ached for her obvious pain and hopelessness.

If you read my last blog entry, you know that my goal and prayer was to be able to use my testimony while out on the streets meeting people.  Truthfully?   In the first month or two I don’t think I was quite ready to share my story with a complete stranger.  My wounds were still raw and stinging with pain.  In fact, I struggled enough sharing my story with people I had known for month (or longer) without starting to cry.  But now?  Now I was ready.

While talking with Valerie, God prepared and opened a way for me to share what He has been doing in my life throughout the last year.  (My Korean friend also got to share her testimony as well!)  As she spoke, Valerie said something such as, “I shouldn’t be angry at God.”

I don’t know the cause of her pain nor do I know what past action she is trying to forgive herself.  What I do know, and what I can relate to is anger.  I know what it is to be angry with God.  (I’m human…what can I say?)

Once she finished speaking, I spoke up saying, “I know what it’s like to be angry with God.  This I year went through at least two months where I literally woke up and went to bed angry.  There were days when, while I still believed in God, I really just didn’t even want to talk to Him.”

Giving me a curious look, I continued.   As I told her my story I told her everything in the order that each event took place.  But in summary, I shared with her about the heartaches of 2011.  I shared of my dad’s three illnesses that lead to three hospitalizations, nearly taking his life each time.  Recalling back to my year, I also told her of my niece, Ashley, and how she died while I was in Japan, but was able to hold her for the first and last time before we buried her.  Then I told her of my grandmother’s second round of cancer, as well as other family cancer scares…Not to mention my own ankle injury and surgery, and other family illnesses/emergencies.  If you’ve followed my blog, you know most of my story as I wrote as it all took place.  (Although, my blog doesn't cover my whole story...so if you ever want to know the full edition, feel free to ask.)

After I told her of all the heartaches I went through, I also told her, “I was angry about my life, my situation, and eventually realized that ultimately, I was just angry at God.  I was angry for what seemed like a lack of protection and for Him not healing my baby niece in a way that would let her live.  Once I realized I was angry and admitted to God of my pain and emotions, God was able to start repairing my brokenness, pain, and fears.  But even now, just four months after everything took place, I am still learning from God about this issue.

“I’m learning that I can’t always change the ways of my own heart as much as I attempt to do so…I have to pray for God to change what I can’t change on my own – like my anger I held towards Him, as well some of the bitterness that is still stored in my heart…And sometimes, that’s a daily prayer.   It’s not always a prayer we pray only one time in our lives.  It’s not always that simple.  We have to remember to continually go to Him and rely on Him, not ourselves.   

“No matter how we feel – God knows.  If we’re angry with Him – He knows.  We might as well tell Him and start repairing the cracks in our relationship with Him that our anger and bitterness causes.”

Throughout telling her my story and all that I had to say, she seemed like she was focused.  In the end she asked me many questions. Granted, there is the fact that she’s from Romania.  English isn’t her first language and there were some miscommunications through some of what was said.  (For example: I was telling her of my “baby niece”.  The first time I said that she said, “You’re baby??”  Since I have no children of my own, I quickly explained that it was not my own child but my sister’s.)  

I’m praying that God was able to use my imperfect words and testimony for His glory regardless of communication barriers caused from our two very different languages.

I told Valerie that she could always start by praying to God to help her find a way to love herself and to forgive herself for whatever she has done in her past…To change her heart in a way she can’t change on her own.  She told me that she couldn’t and wouldn't do that.  In reply, I asked, “Can we pray for you?  Can we pray that God will show you a way to forgive and love yourself – even if you can’t?”  She told me that we could.

I told her, “If our Great and Might God can still love you and forgive you, then it’s okay for you to do the same.  You might not be able to forget your past, but that’s okay.  God can help you learn through your story and use to help other people who can relate one day in the future.”

As we ended our conversation (at least, the first two hours that I was apart of...My dear Korean friend stayed with her to talk for a few hours more) I shared with her Jeremiah 29:11, and how it reminds us that God has a plan for our future.  Just before leaving the table, I told her, “I just can’t help but imagine God looking down on you, His child, His daughter, thinking to Himself, ‘My precious Valerie, I love you more than you will ever know, and I have forgiven you.’”  I also told her of how God must ache for His own hurting daughter.  (Knowing how much my heart aches for her, I can't even begin to imagine how God must feel when He sees how much she is hurting.)

If Valerie comes to your mind, please pray for her...

• Pray that she can love and forgive herself.
• Pray for God to change her heart in a way she cannot change on her own.
• Pray that she finds peace and joy through our one and only God.
• Please pray that regardless of my imperfections and our language barrier, that the important parts that God wanted her to hear she not only heard, but also listened to them as well.

The Travelin' Chick,

Crystal