Wednesday, January 6, 2021

After a Nurse Was Flippant About My Facial Difference

Woman with purple birthmark on her face wears a face mask, looking to her side.
The other day, my phone rang. It was right before Christmas and I noticed my doctor’s office was calling me. Knowing I didn’t have an appointment for a few months, I was confused as to why they were calling.

In October, at this very same doctor's office, I had met with a nurse who I had seen nearly every month during 2020 at my specialist's office. She knew who I was. She even knew my story. But this crisp day in October caught me off guard. 

As she was helping me that day in the office, her forehead quickly began to wrinkle. Pointing to her face, she began to speak. Without a voice of concern, she instead nosily and rudely asked me, "What happened to you?"

Knowing it wasn't my first time there, nor our first discussion about it (not to mention that it is listed on my medical chart), I quickly became annoyed but tried to maintain my patience. This wasn't my first experience of this kind in a doctor's office. It isn't the worst, and it won't be my last.

Caught by surprise, I only replied on the spot with, "It's a birthmark. A port wine stain."

Flippantly the nurse replied, “Oh, that’s right. I guess I forgot.”

After this situation occurred, I went back to this doctor’s office and let my next doctor know about what happened with his coworker. I informed them that they need to know which patient they’re seeing before they walk into a room to properly treat them – and to show basic kindness and professionalism. 

"I'm secure in who I am," I explained to the man who stood before me, "But as an advocate with a facial difference — I can tell you that sadly, that's not everyone's story. I've ready stories about women who are forced to wear makeup to bed by their husband's because their husband's don't want to wake up and 'see that.' A birthmark like mine is so common, it shouldn't of been handled so flippantly because the person behind the the skin matters. Emotions and the stories matter. Every patient matters. It's also a simple thing to just check the medical chart before walking in the room."

For weeks I never knew what occurred after I shared about what happened within those four walls.

Yet, the biggest gift was given to me when my phone rang that December morning.

Answering my phone, it was the very same nurse who saw me that day. The same nurse who had seemed so flippant about my facial difference. 

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hello, is this Crystal?" I heard a female voice ask.

After confirming that it was, she went on.

"It was brought to my attention that I didn't handle our interaction very well last time we saw one another. In fact, I put my foot in my mouth and I chewed on it...And it makes me sick to think about it. I apologize."

She. Apologized.

Out of all the situations I've ever experienced in public, with doctors, nurses, on social media...This doctor is the first to ever apologize. 

"I became a nurse because I care about people, and I have compassion about others. You didn't get me on my best day and I didn't show that to you, and again, I'm sorry."

Within our 15 minutes on the phone, we had a sweet conversation together. It was important to me to readdress some of the issues I told the doctor, because I wasn't here to just "complain." I was hoping to teach and educate. To hope for a difference and to share why this experience mattered to me.

But also? It was more important to show her forgiveness. Grace. I had no desire to sit in bitterness or frustration of this situation, and she needed to know.

"Out of all the situations I've ever been in," I told her, "You're the first to ever apologize. Whether it's in a doctor's office or not. You've gone above and beyond. Thank you."

Before we ended the call, we both ended the conversation by agreeing that we hope to see each other and work together again in the future.

I'm now 29. The last thing I ever expected was a call from this nurse to offer me an apology...And to show a willingness to learn. To understand.

Yet, this was a sweet reminder to expect the unexpected. To remember that kindness is still out there, even when it's not expected.

There is hope.


The Travelin' Chick,

Crystal Hodges




7 comments:

  1. Twitter Promotion is a great way to have this blog seen but if you have videos you can also buy tiktok views and more !

    ReplyDelete
  2. YouTube Promotion seems a great way to have your videos seen but you can also buy slow instagram likes as well for your photos to receive daily traffic.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UFabet is obviously the world boss in online wagering, ufa offering an arrangement of betting choices for players from around the planet. UFabet is an ideal choice for new players as it is maybe the most straightforward site in any case. It's permitted to join and all you require is a charge card to put aside your first portion. With its straightforward and effectively safe interface, anybody can quickly make a record and start getting a charge out of the diverse betting openings open.

    ufabet

    Most web players are content with UFabet as it offers splendid games betting organization at a reasonable rate. It has different games including Baccarat, Blackjack, Craps, Euro football, gaming machines, video poker to say the very least. With a wide extent of wagers on offer, the player can pick according to their solace. You ought to just pick such a betting that you approve of, hold fast to the essential rules, put aside your portion and you are set up to start capitalizing on your gaming experience. With an incomprehensible variety of online club organizations close by, UFabet has something for everyone.

    The ufabet sports betting site allows its customers to pick between a couple of sorts of betting structures. One such betting structure, the Big Idea Bet, pays out at an especially verifiable level of speed. Natural card sharks can value this fascinating betting system with its straightforward payout rates. Moreover, customers can similarly pick between the traditional game play and remarkable games on the ufabet site. This makes ufabet an invigorating spot to go to in case you need to value some enthusiasm on your electronic wagering experience.

    ufabet is another top choice for new web players who are expecting to put aside their first portion in a long time betting webpage. ufabet boasts a gigantic variety first rate betting possibilities, making it straightforward for examiners to make instructed decisions on their bets. In like manner, an unfathomable number of headways are offered to ufabet card sharks each month, which ensures that customers can by and large find empowering courses of action to suit their individual spending plans.

    Various experts acknowledge that ufabet is a champion among other wellspring of online betting information to the extent giving the crucial clues to successful betting. Whether or not you decide not to take an interest in the Betfair sportsbook

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hal yang baik tentang game ini adalah aturannya yang mudah diingat. Itu juga bisa menjadi alasan ribuan orang suka memainkan game ini setiap hari. judi togel omi88 asia

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. สล็อตเว็บตรงไม่ผ่านเอเย่นต์ ไม่มี ขั้นต่ำ การเล่นสล็อตเป็นทางเลือกที่น่าสนใจและปลอดภัยสำหรับผู้เล่น PG โดยที่ไม่ต้องผ่านกลไกทำให้มั่นใจได้ว่าข้อมูลส่วนตัวและการทำธุรกรรมของคุณจะได้รับความปลอดภัย

    ReplyDelete