Saturday, May 9, 2015

Ode to Stinky Offspring

About 11 weeks ago I became an aunt to a beautiful blue-eyed, red-headed little girl!!...And what a joy she has been!!  In expectancy of my sweet little niece, Madison, I wrote her mom and dad a poem before she was born...based off of children being stinky and messy.  The title?  Ode to Stinky Offspring.   (It's super classy.)  I guess you could say that writing cheesy poems is one of my best hidden talents.  (Ha!)  

In honor of Mother's Day, and with permission from my sister, Amanda, I wanted to share the poem and an adorable picture of my niece with you.  Maybe you're not a mom, and that's okay!  Maybe you're an aunt, uncle, or a teacher.  Mother or not, if you've had any experience with small children, I think you'll enjoy it too! 


Ode to Stink Offspring
Written by: Crystal Hodges (with a little help from her mom, Rhonda!)

Your baby girl will be made with sugar, spice, and everything nice,
Look at her smile!!
but for you I have some advice.
Little offspring are stinky,
And a bit of her poo may get on your pinky.

But when she goes poo,
make sure you get all that yucky goo.

Diaper duty will make her auntie gag,
For when I cover my mouth, that's your red flag.

Changing that nappy will make me queasy,
Don't make me do it, oh pleazy, pleazy!!

Sometimes her spit-up,
Will be licked up by a pup.

There will also be lots and lots of slobber,
From your precious little daughter.

Grandpa will teach her how to properly poot,
And you'll want to give him the boot!!

Sometimes her poot will leave you crying out, "Oh baby, baby!"
Some air freshener may be needed, maybe, maybe!!

She might even share a soft substance from her little nosey,
Proving you with the cutest little boogie.

Offspring also like to play in mud,
Which might make you go, "Oh crud!"

With all that stinky wrath,
You'll have to learn how to give her a bath.

You'll do alright,
For her grandma will show you the light.

But even with all the weird baby smells,
We'll all be under her precious little spells.

Even if she smells funny,
She'll be as sweet as honey.

She'll have a squishy little bum,
That will be loved by her dad and mum.

I can't wait for my niece to get here,
Even if I have to wipe her stinky little rear.


The Travelin' Chick and Madison's Aunt,

PS: Being an aunt is the best.

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