Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Why I'm not 'Too Ugly for Love' or 'Undateable'

For many, it's a dream come true to hear from a casting agency inquiring if you're interested in a role on their TV show.  I guess it's a dream for me, too.  There are certain talk shows that I would LOVE to hear from and be a guest on.  It's on my God-sized dream board to appear on The Ellen Show and to participate on What Would You Do.

A couple of months ago, I did receive an inquiry from a casting agency for a reality TV show...but it wasn't a quite a dream come true.

To sum it up: A man in the UK saw my YouTube video and emailed me.  He asked if I was still living in the UK as he was looking to feature people on a reality TV show...People with "significant medical conditions" who were "looking for love".

When I inquired about the specific name of the show he was casting for, he avoided my question.  So, I went to Google and did my own research.

The casting agency that reached out to me works for two shows with the description he gave me:  Too Ugly for Love? and The Undateables.

I know a few people in the UK who enjoy the shows; however, a majority of the people from the UK that I've connected with are strongly opposed to them.  Having limited access to the shows,  I only want to focus on the titles...and I'll be honest -  I'm not fond of them.  Maybe the show helps educate others about different conditions by raising awareness.  But I still don't like the titles. There's a lot I could say about the titles of the shows, but that's not why I'm writing this blog entry.

Here's the thing - I'd rather focus on the positive.  I'd rather tell you why my facial birthmark doesn't make me too ugly for love, or undateable.


So here's my list: 10 Reasons my Birthmark doesn't make Me 'Too Ugly for Love' or 'Undateable'

Big Ben
1. I have a unique perspective on life.  This comes from both my unique appearance and my experiences in life.  I know there is more than one way to look at a situation.  From firsthand experience, I know we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover - or a person by how they look.

Live, Love, Laugh - and take selfies with Flounder.
2. I know how to laugh.  I have a sense of humor.  I have to laugh, whether it be at myself or at a situation.  I know I can't take everything too seriously.  When someone asks if I painted my face with face paint, or a child asks if I got my birthmark from "eating a hamburger",  I laugh.  Laughing is such an important part of my life and I try to have a good laugh at least once a day.  Life would be too hard and complicated without those moments of laughter.  Sometimes (depending on what's happening in life) you have to search for those moments, but they're well worth it - and I can't wait to laugh with a significant other.

3. I'd add a bit of color to a man's life. (See what I did there?)  Not only will the purple hue on my face add in some color, but my life is never boring.  There is always a story to tell.

4. My family is amazing.  They've never treated me different because of my facial difference.  They still pushed me to do my best, they still tell me that I can do anything I put my mind to.  They encourage me to reach for the stars.  They've encouraged me to be proud of who I am, as I am.  When I laugh, they laugh.  When I cry, they cry.  They love me and they support me, no matter where I am in the world.

5. I (typically) have a lot of patience.  I get asked a lot of questions and I get stared at often.  It usually takes a lot to push me over the edge.  Sometimes I have to explain my birthmark and condition 20 times a day, sometimes I don't have to explain it a single time...Either way, I don't mind.

6. Life isn't always easy, and I get that.  I'm basically a pro at knowing how to persevere.  (Well, kind of.)  Life is hard.  It's not easy...But I never quit.  I never give up.  I may get knocked down on occasion, but I always get back up.  When the wind gets knocked out of me, I learn to breath again. The staring and the comments?  The medical procedures?  My image going viral?  All these things have had a part in teaching me to persevere with joy.  Life is a journey and we can all learn from both the good and bad times...and although it may take a lot of creativity and juicing practice, there's always a way to make lemonade out of lemons.

In March 2011 Japan experienced a tsunami.
That July I went to Japan to help with disaster relief efforts.
7. My heart is compassionate.  This kind of goes hand-in-hand with having a unique perspective in life.  I know what it's like to struggle, to go through a hardship - both because of my birthmark and general life experiences.  When I see others struggling, my heart breaks.  I'm still working on this skill set and I'm far from being perfect at it, but I always strive to find ways to encourage those around me.

8. I am one of a kind.  Birthmark or not, there is only one me.  I'm a California native, but traveler at heart.  I strive for the adventure of a local – seeing what they see, smelling what they smell, and tasting what they taste.  I’ve travelled to 11 different countries (living in two international lands) and am constantly receiving a new stamp in my new, yet beat-up, passport.  Baking is an addiction, but one I use to hopefully bring joy to someone’s day.  (Truffles are my specialty!)  I’m an author, speaker, and photographer.  I’m also bilingual, as I have been studying the visual language of American Sign Language.  (Although, I am trilingual if include sarcasm.  Like I mentioned above, humor is also a constant enjoyment in my life.)  Dreams are what I strive for  - and I don’t dream small.  I dream God-sized dreams, knowing that nothing is impossible and have a bucket list that is never ending.  I've even been pooped on by a dolphin.  No one else is 100% like me.  I'm the only Crystal Hodges in this world that fits my story.  I'm special, I'm unique.

9. When I date or marry - my boyfriend/husband won't be taken for granted.  I get that my birthmark isn't up every guy's alley, and that's okay.  Especially when it includes laser treatments every two months, rude comments, and constant stares.  When I was an infant and young child, my parents were constantly asked if they burned me, their child.  I know that other people close to me are affected by people's harsh comments and gawking.  Whoever I date/marry will probably have similar experiences themselves.  Whoever I marry (if I marry) - I know he's been worth the wait.

10. I'm confident.  I know who I am.  My birthmark doesn't define me.  I can wear makeup, or I can go without it.  I'm more than my physical shell.  I'm proud to be me - birthmark and all.  My journey has been a unique one, that's for sure, but I'm proud of who I have become.  I know I'm not perfect, I know I make mistakes...But I know I'm dateable.  I know I'm beautiful, both inside and out. Although I hope to continue to grow and become a better person, I wouldn't change who I am.  My life has been an adventure, and I know my journey has a lot of amazing things on the way.  


I know that not everyone with a facial birthmark or facial difference will relate to my list.  Not everyone has such an awesome family, not everyone feels confident.  But this is my personal list.  This is how I've been molded throughout my experiences and my life.

After reading this blog entry, and if you're struggling (whether you have a facial difference or not), I hope you are encouraged to make you're own positive list as to why you're beautiful and/or dateable...because you are.  You are one of a kind.  You are a valuable.  You are a unique and beautiful person that is worthy of being loved.  You are especially valuable and worthy enough to love yourself.

Although the titles of the TV shows stung my heart momentarily, it is kind of cool to say that I was contacted by an agency to see if I would be interested in appearing on a TV series.  But more than that?  It shows me that if I can get the attention of an agency in the UK, maybe the talk shows in the USA will one day have the same interest...This experience reminded me that anything is possible.  I was encouraged to continue dreaming big dreams.

I was reminded that even though I am single, I am dateable.  I am beautifully and wonderfully made.

The Beautiful Travelin' Chick,


  1. I have a birthmark! And I loved every word you wrote!

    1. Good evening!! Thank you SO much for stopping by and for your comment. I'm so glad to hear that you were encouraged!

  2. You are everything I am teaching my daughter to be. She is only 6 years into her journey and already has a wonderfully positive outlook on life. Her facial birthmark in no way defines her. She is so much more than what you see and an absolutely amazing little human.

    1. You sound like an amazing parent. Keep up the great work as you raise your daughter!! She sounds amazing. :-)

    2. Yer strong, have sass, a sense of who you are and what you want to achieve. Embrace life; master it... I have had many facial surgeries and the fact is many people are intimidated by what they can't or won't understand. We must find love in our hearts: not just romantic love, but a love transcending human frailty. I hope that yer strength is built on love, and trust. We will get hurt. But if we don't try to find love, then we lose. That I can't accept. Be loving, beautiful, and, yes, patient. Peace...

  3. Love this! What a beautiful person you are- inside and out!

    1. Thank you so much for your comment and encouragement!! YOU are a BLESSING. :-)

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