It's just a birthmark!

Told ya.  Lots of medical stuff has
been taking place!  

During the last month, in the midst of all the holiday celebrations, I've had a lot of medical stuff going on. No worries - none of it has caught me by surprise. To summarize: in the last month I have had ankle surgery, a wisdom tooth and molar removed, and a laser treatment on my birthmark.

Whenever I am out and about, I just about always expect staring due to my birthmark. I expect weird questions and statements…and sometimes the occasional stupid remarks. The thing is though…When I go to a hospital or a dentist office, I don't really expect many ridiculous stories to unfold - at least not because of something hospital employees say. I guess I go into those buildings thinking that those who work there have a bit of knowledge that maybe the average Joe doesn't have. Maybe they don't know why my face is purple and pink, but I guess I've always assumed that they realize, as they work in their field, that there are many different kinds of people that don't necessarily look, or even act the same as others. I guess I also assume that they have trained themselves or have learned to have a professional filter somewhere between their brain and their vocal cords. But, I suppose that even people who work in the medical offices are also human…and can also give me a story to tell.

All of the stories I am about to tell you are true. And they've occurred within the last few months.

As I was preparing for my ankle surgery, I had to have a few podiatry appointments that included me going for x-rays of my ankle and foot. While waiting to be called back for the x-rays, a young lady (who works for the hospital) came in the waiting room, saw me, and asked, "Oh, are you wearing face paint or something?" I looked at her and said, "No...It's just a birthmark…"

This lady then became super embarrassed and flustered saying, "Oh, well, I just thought that since it's

My fun knee caddy/scooter. I've
even decorated it a little more since
this photo. 

time for Halloween and some people...well...you know...yeah...Sorry about that." Holding back my laughter, with a smile I said, "It's ok - don't worry about it!" She then walked out.

After I was called back for my x-rays, the same (embarrassed) lady ended up assisting the person I was with. The poor lady kept looking at the ground and wouldn't even make eye contact with me. She even asked the x-ray technician if she "really" needed her assistance. I could tell she felt bad. And awkward. I actually began to feel bad for her, but didn't know what to say to help her feel better about the situation...and it really did take all I had not to laugh - so it's probably better that I stayed silent!

Before I had my ankle surgery and before Christmas break began, my mom had me get the flu shot. Although I got the shot - I can't say that there wasn't a lot of protesting on my end…But eventually, I caved. Probably a good thing too, since I work at an elementary school and get germ-filled snot and slobber on me constantly…Just thinking about it makes me shiver.

Turns out, I'm allergic to the flu shot! I had a red and feverish spot on my arm that kept growing, even a few days after receiving the shot. Eventually it became the diameter size of a baseball and mom had me call the nurse hotline for advice. The nurse on the other of the line told me to go to the ER and that I should have called about it sooner.

As I am called form the ER's waiting room to see the triage nurse, the nurse asks me what I'm there for. I responded, "I'm having an allergic reaction or something to the flu shot." Looking at my face and with a monotoned, yet tired voice, she pointed and asked, "Is that the reaction right there??"…What????

I mean, I guess that's a valid question. I don't know. She wasn't the only nurse who had that thought that night. Valid or not…I just laughed in disbelief and a part of me wanted to respond, "Yeah…because we all get our flu shots in the face, right?" But I didn't. I just held onto my laughter until I left the room and I just cracked up once back in the waiting room with my mom.

About a week later I went to an oral surgeon for a pre-op appointment for the surgery to remove the two teeth removed. We introduced ourselves, and with a smile he looked at me and asked, "Oh - you have Sturge-Weber syndrome, don't you??" (Which, honestly…I'm not sure how to explain Sturge-Weber Syndrome. I have it in addition to the birthmark, but it is caused by the birthmark. I haven't learned much about it, but from my understandings…it's basically all the complications that a port-wine stain can cause, like my glaucoma. Except, I have it easy in comparison to a lot of people with the syndrome.) Looking at him amazed, I told him, "Yeah…I do."

The oral surgeon got really excited. Seriously. He was like a kid in a candy shop!! I think I made is day by just walking into his office. Before pulling down a book to read about my birthmark and the syndrome, he commented, "I don't know the last time I operated on someone with Sturge-Weber syndrome. Actually, I'm not sure if I ever have…at least with it on the gums. I wonder if you'll bleed more, since it's caused by extra blood vessels. I'm quite curious!"

Even the kiddo (my cousin) likes to take
a joy ride with the scooter/caddy! Who
can blame her?? 

Confused, I asked him how he knew about my birthmark. He told me he not only went to a school to learn about dentistry, but also went to medical school to learn more about the face so he could be better
prepared as an oral surgeon and dentist. I then told him the story of the ER nurse, telling him that I am impressed he knew so much when someone in a hospital setting knew so little. I hadn't expected a dentist to know anything about it…at all…but it really felt good to know that he made an effort to learn and still wanted to learn more.

I didn't go back to have the two teeth removed for a couple of weeks. Once I had them removed, he told me to make an appointment for the next week so he could make sure I'm doing okay and to remove the stitches.

I didn't make it a week. Within two days, I was back in their office. The stitches were driving me CRAZY. Being so far back in my mouth, it would literally feel like I was swallowing a piece of string.

Going back into the office, one of his assistants greeted me and took me back to a room. As I sat in a chair, the lady looked at my face and wide-eyed asked, "Oh my!! Is that from your surgery? Did the doctor do that to you?? You should of called us sooner!!" I then explained that, no, the doctor - her boss - did not do that to me. (Knowing I was having a laser treatment within the next 24 hours, I wanted to say, "You think I look bad now?? You should see me after my laser treatment tomorrow!!")

Unlike the ER nurse, I didn't find this situation to be funny. I actually felt the opposite. It frustrated me and I felt annoyed with the lady. I don't really know what the difference was. Maybe it's because I was still feeling crummy from having two teeth removed, in addition to having my cast as I heal from my ankle surgery. Maybe it's because I am tired of people who work around people in a medical type setting being totally clueless, and not knowing how to be a more classy type of clueless. I don't know. But just like my laughter with the ER nurse, I held in my annoyance with the oral surgeon's assistant.

The oral surgeon then came into the room and started checking things out. As he did so, his employee basically "told on" herself, recalling the conversation and comments she made…laughing while doing so. The oral surgeon's expression said it all - even before his words of apology for the lack of sensitivity of the lady who works for him. His face held a combination of frustration, embarrassment, and disbelief. After he apologized, the lady continued to laugh as she said, "yeah…Sorry about that!"

Yeah. Okay.

When I tell the stories that seem to continue to pile up, my sister always tells me that I need to have fun with people. She tells me I should unleash the sarcastic responses that come to my mind in response to certain questions or comments. Really, if you could see into my mind when situations arise, it can be a fun and hilarious comic strip playing out…but I always hold back. And sometimes my sarcastic responses come to my mind a little delayed.

Although I always expect people to say things, no question or comment is ever 100% the same. Somehow, I am usually caught off guard. I mean, even though the ER nurse's comment and the comment of the lady who works at the oral surgeon's office were both similar…They were not the same. At all…Each catching me by surprise!

Maybe being sarcastic in response isn't the right thing to do. Maybe it is. Or, maybe it doesn't matter…Maybe I should decide if I want to be sarcastic, depending on the person, the age, comment, attitude, etc, etc, as I can usually - and very quickly - weed out who is genuinely curious and kind verses those who are just plain ridiculously rude. I don't know.

My Deaf professors are always sharing their stories of the crazy things people tell them or ask them, along with their quick-witted sarcastic responses they give to people…and I love their stories! I love how fast they with their witty responses and often wish I could be the same way.

Maybe you work in a medical office or dentist's office. Possibly you're a doctor, nurse, or a receptionist with no medical training. If you work in either of these settings and your'e reading my blog, please take at least one thing from what you're reading.

Everyday I have to go out in public and deal with staring. Nearly everyday I am put into uncomfortable situations caused by the general, awkward public.

I get that you may not know why my face looks the way it does. I get that you may have questions about it. Truthfully, I don't expect you to know a thing about it or to go out and learn about it. But when I walk into a hospital or dentist office? I expect and hope for a decent sense of professionalism from you.

Hospitals or any kind of medical buildings *should* be a safety zone away from nonsense. Realistically, in these settings - nothing should be assumed. I mean, come on! I can't be the only "oddball" you've met.

Expect different people to walk to your doors at anytime!! Sure, those of us who are "different" may get stares and off-the-wall comments from other people in the waiting room, but more than likely - they don't work in a medical setting. Fair or not, I set the bar a little higher for the people who do.

And although it may not be in your job requirements, I hope that you have the previously mentioned filter between your brains and your vocal cords. Think before you speak! Treat me with respect. Treat me how you'd want to be treated if you were in a similar situation. Think through your words, vocal tones, and the looks you give others.

You can ask questions. Just be kind and please think about the way you phrase them.

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

PS: By the way - if any of you near me need a recommendation for a great oral surgeon, let me know! I really enjoyed the guy I was referred too. He was really kind and had a great sense of humor as he signed my cast while I was knocked out during the procedure, and told me he took a ride with my knee caddy I use to get around.

Blind Ignorance

A couple of weeks ago I boarded a plane to head towards Nashville.  During the first plane ride, I slept.  For the second flight, I thought and prayed, "Lord - it's really temping to take another nap.  However, I'd really like to sit next to someone who is deaf.  It'd be great to make a new friend, to have more experience using, and learning, sign language."

Little did I know...God had a bit of humor planned for my day.

A 20-something-year-old man boarded the plane shortly after I did.  I was able to tell straight-away that he was blind, as he used a fold-up stick to walk down the aisle and as a flight attendant helped him find his seat...which was right next to mine.

I thought, "Okay...Not exactly what I meant, but that's okay."

Talking to the man, he shared a little bit about being blind.  From what I gathered, he has been blind all his life.  He told me how people often ask him (once they realize that he's blind) if knows and uses sign language.  He also shared about how awkward people can be about his blindness.

At one point, I said something to the affect of, "It can sometimes be fun being different than what society is use to."  I guess that was the wrong thing to say at first.  Defensively he said, "Different??!?  What do you mean by different?!??"

Oops...I momentarily forgot an important factor - he's blind, and he can't see my face.

Realizing he wasn't able to see my face, I briefly explained that I have a birthmark that covers half of my face.  (To which he said, "That's SO awesome!!!!!!!")  So, I too, have 'fun' stories from people who don't know how to properly react to unique differences.  Little did I know, he was about to become one of those stories himself.

Fascinated by my birthmark, he used his hand and covered his eyes asking, "Is it like an eye mask??"  Then, while covering a cheek, he continued, "Or is it like a two-face?"  I told him, "Umm...I guess it's a two-face."  He then asked, "Oh.  Have people ever called you a 'two-face' before?"  I told him, "Actually, yes.  I was called that once as a child."  His response was, "Really??"  As I reflected back many years, I told him, "Yes.  Honestly, I don't really recall being made fun of much by other children, as I usually struggle with ignorant adults and rude strangers.  However, the one time I remember being made fun of in grade school was being called a two-face in the school cafeteria."  All he could respond to that was, "Oh."  Usually I don't reflect on that memory with people I know, let alone strangers.  He asked, and kept digging, so I shared.

We would discuss different things but he would bring the topic right back to my birthmark.  He would ask, "Do people stare at you all the time?  I bet they do."  I answered, "Yes, they do."

Then the conversation topic changed once again.  I think we went back and forth from "normal" topics to the topic of my birthmark at least four or five times.  By round five, and because of his mean-sounding tone, I was starting to get frustrated and irritated by the man.

Before I knew it, he was right back to the topic of my birthmark as he told me, "I'd much rather be blind than to have a birthmark on my face any day."  Although I decided against it, I almost told him that my birthmark threatens the vision that I have in my left eye, as I use medication to fight going blind on a daily basis.

I wasn't really sure how to react to his statement.  In that moment, I was grateful he couldn't see my reaction - as I'm sure I probably had the expression of shock and confusion.  Baffled by his comment, the thought came to my mind, "How do you know that you'd rather be blind?  You can't even see my face to know what it looks like." (Thank goodness for the ability of having internal dialogue!)

Soon after that thought, I also caught myself thinking, "I'd much rather have a birthmark covering my face than to be blind."

Moments after that thought crossed my mind, I came to a realization.  People, including myself, are comfortable with what they know.  They are comfortable with what they are use to.  For the blind man, being blind is what he knows.  Having half a purple face would be completely new territory that he doesn't understand with a bit of the unknown.  But for me??  I know what it is like to have half of a purple face.

I understand what circumstances are brought by having this different facial feature.  When it comes to people's stares, comments, health, and how it affects my life overall - I get it...Just like the blind understand their blindness, and the deaf understand what it is like to be deaf.

On the flip side?  The idea of being blind scares me.  Becoming blind is a fear of mine as I love seeing the world and the beauty God has created.  Not to mention, fear of not being able to partake in my love for photography.

Overall, the conversation with the man was really awkward.  His attitude and tone were not friendly and came across as quite rude.  While he couldn't physically stare at me, the way he would ask questions and the fact that he would keep bringing my birthmark up (even though we would completely change topics...multiple times) - I felt as though he was staring at me through his words and his comments.

I'm pretty sure that this was one of the weirdest and most uncomfortable conversations I've ever had.

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

...And I smiled.

Today was a rainy day in London.  (Go figure.)

We had planned to have a book table and to pass out portions of Gospel literature.  Due to the rain, and because we had a small team today, we decided to spend time in a mall where it was dry.  While in the mall our goal was to talk to people we saw sitting on a bench, or in a store looking at that really cute purse (which, I totally just wrote as "person" instead of "purse"...you know it's late when...).

While in one of the stores I was in the check-out line to purchase a very British and slightly discounted book for my baby cousin.  As I got to the front of the line, I said to the cashier, "Hello!  How are you doing today?  How is your day?"  A few silent seconds went by before she responded to me.  Looking up from the register with a puzzled look on her face, she looked up at me and asked, "Are you talking to me??"

Shocked at her response, I told her, "Of course!  How is your day going?"  She told me, "Oh...It's going okay.  I just started work.  But...Customers never ask how my day is going...I wasn't expecting that."

During the day I didn't get into any "deep conversations" about God.  However, I think that's okay.  As my friend said today, "Sometimes it's just about showing up for duty and being willing to be used for God."  God will take care of the rest if you show up.

Plus, I think days like this are okay.  Sometimes I think it's about showing people God's love by just a simple smile and a question of, "How are you doing today?"  or, "How is your day going so far?"

How many people go through the day without receiving a smile?  Without being asked if they are doing okay?  Without a person to show that they care - even just a little bit?

Yes, we should speak about God's love.  There is no question about that!  But days like today?  We didn't speak about God's love, instead, we showed it.  We let our lights shine for His glory.  I may have asked a simple question or given a 5 second smile, but who knows what God can do with a few simple caring words or friendly facial expression.

Today I didn't get into any deep conversations about God...But I showed up for duty, and I smiled.

Who are you showing God's love to today??

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

Grumpy

Where have the last two weeks gone?  It never ceases to amaze me how fast time goes by here in London.

Before I get into some of details of the last two weeks I want to share this story with you.  If your sense of humor is similar to mine in anyway, prepare yourself for a moment of laughter...

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The joys of living in an international community!  In our flat lives seven girls (formerly 8, but my German friend was only here for 7 weeks.)  Only two of us are native English speakers.  Last night we went for a prayer meeting with another group here in England and we got back late last night at half past 11 p.m.  The following basic conversation took place between three of us girls:

English Speaker: I'm tired and grumpy.

Korean: Grumpy?  What does that mean?

Me: Grouchy.  Unhappy.  Or, like when you wake up and haven't had your coffee yet.  Grumpy.

English Speaker: Have you seen "Snow White and the 7 Dwarves?" 

Korean: No...What means 'dwarves'?

English Speakers: Ummm...Dwarves are like little people.

Korean: Oh, like smurfs??!?

English Speaker: No...Not exactly...

Needless to say, I was laughing really hard towards the end of the conversation.  I knew exactly where my English speaking friend was going with the movie, "Snow White and the 7 Dwarves" - and eventually she did get to explain that there were some by the name of Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, etc, etc...Sometimes it's pretty much impossible to keep a straight face during moments like this. 

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During the last two weeks I've been keeping busy with many things.  Our work of having a book table and distributing free Christian literature to people we meet on the streets, with my communications internship, living with 7-10 people (depending on who is here, who isn't...), taking classes, etc, etc...The list is never ending.  While it has been crazy busy I am still learning a lot and soaking everything in to the best of my ability.

Recently as we distributed the free Christian literature, within an hour I had at least 3 or 4 people walk by the table telling me and my friends/coworkers, "You're young! One day when you're my age and you see all the rubbish that goes on in this world, you'll know that there is no God!!"

To be honest, my first reaction (internally) was frustration.  It drives me insane when people look down upon others because of their age...Not to mention before getting to know a person and their story.  When the first person looked down on us for our age I was okay...but after the third and fourth one, that's when the frustration came.  (It also didn't help that it would be said by people who walk by the table without stopping, not giving us a chance to talk with them to learn more about them.)  In my mind I couldn't help but think, "Who's to say we haven't seen 'rubbish' in our own personal lives or in the lives of others?  Why are they judging our lives because of our age?  They don't know us!"

Then I realized, after my frustration calmed down (as I am not perfect by any means!), the sadness that came over my heart for them and their lives.  What had these people been through to make them disregard God?  What's happened in their lives?  What is their story??  What are their struggles and heartaches??

It's really saddening to think about the hopelessness their lives must hold.  Sure, I have heart aches.  I have struggles.  But one thing remains the same through all the different circumstances: I still have hope in God.  It's like what I recently posted on my Facebook account.  Often I'm reminded that it's not about showing people that I'm stronger than anyone else, but just as broken as they are. The difference between myself and some of the people that I meet? In the midst of my brokenness I still have hope in God...and that makes all the difference. And even though I am still healing from brokenness from my year of 2011, and healing can be a painful process in itself, I also remember that God has a purpose for my life and my unique testimony.   What are the people that I meet on a regular base putting their hopes in??  Do they even have hope of any kind???  (And if they do, I cannot imagine how little hope they truly get from something other then God.)

1 Timothy 4:12 also came to my mind:
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

Yes, I might be younger then many of the people that I meet on the street.  Yes, it's true that my story might be different then those that I meet, but I still understand what it's like to go through the rubbish of life through illnesses, death, fear, and anger.  I may be young, but I'm not living in a bubble protected from the storms that life brings. (As, if you read my blog on a regular basis, I don't need to tell you that!)

Instead of letting my frustration take ahold of my mind, next time I hope and pray that the people who say these kind of statements will slow down and talk with us.  I want them to see that we truly care about them and who they are and the struggles that they face.   I want a chance to hear their stories and to share my own in return...To share my testimony and what God has done and been doing in my life...To set an example. 

We always try and set goals before heading out.  Wheither it to be that we pass out a certain amount of literature, to use a certain Bible verse in the day, to get into a good conversation, etc...Sometimes the goals are met, sometimes they are not.  But often, God has something incredible to show each of us who go out for the day regardless of if they were met or not.  My next goal?  To have a chance to get into a good conversation with someone.  I really want want to be able to share my testimony and what God has done in my life and what He continues to do....I want my testimony to be used for His glory, to help make a difference in someone's life for God...I want to connect with someone and to show God's love to them.

Soon I'll be sending out my next newsletter.  If you didn't get the last one and you would like to be included on this upcoming one, please send me an email and let me know.  I've only done one so far, but I do go into a little more detail of the work I am doing here through the newsletter verses on my blog postings and Facebook posts.

Oh yeah!  After praying about it and thinking about it for the last few months being away, I've extended my time to work here until June 26th instead of leaving in late May.  This adds one month to my time here.  I feel as though this is where God has called me to be for this period of my life and that I am meant to be here through the additional month.  Please be in prayer for funding to come in quickly and easily.  Where God guides, God provides - and I firmly believe this!

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

"You're SO cute...So adorable!"

Living in an international community is quite interesting and at times very entertaining.  In our one flat alone we have eight girls people from four different countries...And, again, this is just in our one flat.

Being a native English speaker, those who don't use English as their mother tongue often ask me questions such as, "How do you say that?  What does that mean?  Did I say that right?  What is the word for...?"  Since English is my first language I have automatically become an English teacher to aid those who are trying their best to learn all that they can so that they can understand and speak the language better.  (Although, sometimes I jokingly say, "Don't ask me - I'm American!" ---  That's usually my way of admitting that I don't know the answer.  Sometimes that answer even works if it ends up being British English that they are referring to.  In this case, this is also helps me learn my British English words and phrases.)

Dinner time is often a time of laughter.  Why?  This is usually when our funny language lessons take place.  We will talk about our cultures, homes, foods, our cultures.   This would include things like the other night when we taught each other what different sounds animals make in different countries.  For example, Americans say a cow will "moo".  In Korea they say that the cows "Maa".

One day I realized that my Korean friends often used the word "cute".  Actually, it wasn't often.  It was more than often - it was a very frequent!  Everyday they say things like, "You're voice is so cute!  You're so cute!"  Jolly Ranchers and the noodles for American Craft Mac and Cheese?  Yeah, they're cute too.

Noticing they used the word cute a lot (aka: for everything), I decided to teach them a new word so they would have more options in their word choice.  To go along with cute, I taught them the word "adorable".  

The other morning I was really sick and I slept a lot.  At one point, though, when waking up I saw two of the Korean girls standing over my bedside looking at me saying multiple times, "She's so cute...so adorable!"  (At least I know I still look good when I feel my worst??)  I'm starting to think it's time to teach them a third option for more variety.

For the last two weeks (at least) everyday, at least once (if not twice), I am still told, "Your voice is SO cute...SO adorable!"  After leaving here any girl should have wonderful self esteem and confidence.  ;-)

I really enjoy helping them with their English.  Not only are they learning, but I am as well.  When they ask me, "What does that mean?" sometimes I realize, "You know, I've never actually thought about the meaning and why we say that word or phrase..."  This has helped me come to realize that in America, we use some really odd phrases for some things in life!  I've also come to realize how many American idioms and slang I sometimes use.  My British English vocabulary is also expanding.

It's also remarkable to see how hard they are working to learn to speak another language.  I know they have their days of frustration and discouragement, but they leave me impressed everyday.  Here they are, from different countries and languages, speaking a foreign language (my language) all day, seven days a week.  They work so hard.  I cannot even imagine how exhausting that would be to listen and to speak an unfamiliar language all day, everyday, translating everything in their mind to process what is being said.

What American/English phrases do you recommend we teach our international friends?

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

PS: Another phrase we have tried to work on is with the word "deserve".  One girl was telling someone, "You deserve to be my roommate."  We understood what she meant but had to help her find a better English way of phrasing her feelings about her excitement of being roommates together.  Now that is a joke in our flat.  "You deserve to be my partner", or, "you deserve to be my friend."