"I Love You This Big!"

Part of Scotty Mccreery's I Love You This Big

"...I might look a little silly

Standing with my arms stretched open wide.

I love you this big

Eyes have never seen... this big

No-one's ever dreamed... this big

And I'll spend the rest of my life

Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try

I love you this big

I'll love you to the moon and back

I'll love you all the time

Deeper than the ocean

And higher than the pines...

I love you this big

Eyes have never seen... this big

No-one's ever dreamed... this big

And I'll spend the rest of my life

Explaining what words cannot describe but, I'll try

I love you this big...

So much bigger than I ever dreamed my heart ever would

I love you this big..."

Okay. If you look at all the lyrics of this song it is an obvious love song from a guy to a girl. However, in my case it's so much more.

The day of Ashley's burial service this song was playing on the radio. While listening to the song only certain phrases stuck out to me - mostly the ones I quoted above. As the music was being played through my cars speakers I kept hearing, "I love you this big..." thinking about, Ashley, my niece, and my love that I have for her.

Fast forward a month later.

The night before my birthday I was at camp with our teen girls from church. Once the room's seemingly endless chatter and laughter silenced, I found myself in my own little world of thoughts. Often in the silence I think about life and the recent events that have taken place.

This night specifically I kept thinking about Ashley. I kept thinking about how much I miss her and how I wish she was still with us. Thoughts of birthdays came to my mind, as I will never get to buy her a birthday present and/or she will never get to color me a colorful card with colorful crayons when it's my birthday. We will never get to celebrate each other's lives together. Before I fell asleep I couldn't help but think, "I wish we could be together on these special days in some way."

The next morning came around. As I awoke to my alarm clock the very first thing that came to my mind was the song lyric, "I love you this big..." This was stuck in my head for at least an hour.

Some may think this is just a weird coincidence that the song was being played the day we buried her, just to have me wake up to it the morning of my 20th birthday after a night of wishing we could celebrate together. They can think what they may.

In my heart I truly do believe this was a way for my niece to tell me, "Happy birthday, Aunt Crystal! I love you! I love you this big!" As I think about those words I think about Ashley in her new body, bigger then the mere 14 ounces she weighted on earth, stretching her strong and long arms out across Heaven sending her love and good wishes my way.

Hey Ashley - I love you THIS big - and I am NOT afraid to say it!

The Travelin' Chick,

Crystal

Second Year of College? Done.

My second year of college is officially over. In my mind it is currently a huge relief that I made it out alive from this last semester. In my mind I am also amazed at how time seemed to fly by, as this makes it one whole year since I left Nashville. (Well, FWBBC anyway...I didn't leave Nashville until June.)

When seasons end I enjoy looking back at memories that were made and the cool things that happened or that I got to participate in. Usually I do this with school years and summer vacations. (You know you're a college student when...Life is organized around two seasons. School - and Summer.)

This list won't be crazy long as usually the long one is at the end of the summer time, but here is some of the main things that happened or that I tried...Oh - and this may be out of order.

1. I transfered to Fresno City College from FWBBC. Not an easy thing to do. To be honest, it was rough, especially in the beginning. After a year has gone by I do see what God was trying to do in my life this year. Maybe I don't see all that God has done yet or the full purpose of bringing me back. I do, however, see some of the beauty in the complex puzzle of life.
2. My baby cousin was born. Until this sweet little kid came along, I was the baby in the family.
3. Until Spring break I had never changed a diaper before in my life. (Look at #2)
4. I had a job in a photography studio.
5. I found out I'm going to be an AUNT! Yeaaa!
6. My dad got super sick and almost died as he spent about 2 weeks in the hospital...(Seriously. He basically had one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.) I'm so blessed to still have my dad with me today.
7. I took photography classes as well as a class for photoshop.
8. The College and Career class started working with our high schoolers/junior highers at church.
9. Through this semester I've learned how much I LOVE working with the teens. (check out previous number) Before this year, I had no idea. I'm praying that God will guide me in my future to work with the youth, whether I become a Youth Pastor's wife, work at a camp, children's home, work with Truth and Peace or E-TEAM, etc. The possibilities are endless. Regardless of wherever I end up in my life, I know I want to be involved in someway with the youth!
10. After being away for a year and then returning I realized how beautiful California truly is.
11. With the college and career class at church we helped plan a mission trip to Mexico for this upcoming June. We're all super pumped for this trip!!
12. I did NOT injure myself ONCE! YEAHHH! Talk about a record and something to be proud of! ;-)
13. During the semester I found out about Operation Mobilization. I dug for more information and learned a lot about the organization. Now I have been accepted to go with them in January of 2012 to go for about 4 months to London and 10 days in Germany.
14. In January I went to Nashville!
15. We lost our little dog Harley. This was within the last couple of days. I have hope and faith that he'll come home and that we'll find him!
16. With the amazing women in my family we all went and saw Wicked together. We took a limo and ate at the Tokyo Steakhouse in Clovis. What a night!!

That's about it...I think...Those are the big moments I can remember off the top of my head anway..."What now?" you ask? Here is a brief look at my upcoming summer plans:

May 20 (AKA: Tomorrow): Leave for Seattle

May 21-28: Alaskan Cruise!

May 28: Leave for Nashville straight from Seattle!

June 7 (I think): Start Road Trip from Nashville, TN, to Fresno, CA.

June 11 (Or EARLY June 12! Who knows how this will go...): Get home

June 12 (yes, the 12th!): Leave for Mexico!! (We're building a house, doing women and children's ministries!)

June 18: Get home...again.

July 1-13: I'll possibly be in a group headed to Japan to help with disaster relief!!

From there I'll be home...that is until...

July 31: Leave from Camp (I am the camp counselor for our church's teen girls again this year! YEA!!)

August 5: Go home...Once more...

There might be some traveling with my aunt as she goes out of town for work in all of that too. There should also be fundraising for London.

I am ready for an exciting summer and I hope you are ready to buckle your seat belts to come along! Check out my blog often. Who knows what will happen and what will come my way! While I've done a lot of things in my life time I haven't done a lot of what is considered "normal things". That being said, maybe I'll even visit a taco truck sometime while I'm in my hometown. (Yes, Bryan, that was for you!)

Put your reading glasses on and travel the world through my blog.

The Travelin' Chick,

Crystal

PS: For my friends who actually read the blog - I wonder how many pictures my camera will take this summer? Take a guess, and whomever guesses right or the closest to the right amount might get something cool from the adventures…