An Unexpected Response to, "I Love You"

When you listen to the words of 4-year-old Rayna Lopez, you can instantly tell that her brain is older than her given age.  She can count to 100 and can spell a multiple amount of words.  She’s wild and rambunctious, but caring and observant.  Her goofiness comes from her dad, and her creativity is the product of mother.  Rayna has a resume filled with an endless amount of silly faces and she already has a plan for what she wants to do when she grows up.  Claiming on of the noblest of paths, she confidently states, “I just want to make people laugh!”

This 4-year-old has strong opinions of her own…and she’s never shy about letting them be known.  When she found out she was going to be a big sister last year, she instantly wanted a sister – not a brother!  When asking her what would happen if she got a baby brother, she would bluntly state, “We’ll just send him back!!”  With a plan in mind she continues, “We’ll send him back to someone who wants a baby brother.”  (Don’t worry - her wish came true!  She now has a sister, Erica!)

Rayna, unknowingly, has a way of encouraging others – even in life’s most simplistic moments.   Asking her who her best friend is, her ocean-blue eyes light up and meet my gaze by saying, “You!  You’re my best friend!!”  When asked why that is, her answer is the most beautiful of them all, “Because I love you!!”…And what’s not encouraging about that?

In the 4 years I’ve known Rayna, I’ve learned more from her than I ever expected or thought possible.  For example, right before she turned 4-years-old, I leaned over to her and whispered in her eager small ear and told her, “I love you!”  With a shy yet understanding smile, she gently responded, “I know.”

Often when we tell others, “I love you”, we await the typical response of, “I love you too”…Not Rayna’s two worded answer of, “I know.”

Although her response wasn’t the typical reply that is expected, in that moment, those two words meant more to me more than I can fully express.  Hearing her respond with “I know”, I realized by those two words combined together that I must be doing something right.  Not every child in the world knows or realizes they are loved, but by the age of 3, it was clear that Rayna has recognized my love for her early on.  Whether it’s through my actions or words (or both), she gets the full message that she’s a special person in my life.  Just knowing that she knows and understands the love that I have for her means so more than simply hearing the usual reply of, “I love you too.”

Rayna has brought more laughter to my life than any other single person I’ve ever met in my 23 years of living.  She’s a blessing that was brought into my life at the perfect moment.  This brilliant child constantly brings an endless amount of joy through both the good times and the bad.   During a rough time in my life when my heart was completely shattered and broken, causing me to feel as though I’d never be whole again, she healed my heart in remarkable ways in which no one else has ever had the power to do.

Her childlike perception helps see me see the world in a extraordinary, beautiful, yet often forgotten, perspective. She’s an irreplaceable and extraordinary girl and when I grow up…I hope to be just like her.

And although she’s only 4, she’s my best friend – because I love her.  (And I'm not afraid to say it!)

The Travelin' Chick and Rayna's Cousin,
Crystal

Through the Broken Pieces I Shine

Can I just say it's tricky and confusing sometimes to have both a hurt ankle in a cast/boot AND a purplish facial birthmark??

Let me explain.

Currently I'm in a walking boot and have been on and off crutches for a few months.  Last month I was leading a seminar at a youth camp and at some point during camp a junior high student asked me, "What happened to you??"  I told him, "Oh, I just hurt my ankle.  I kind of broke it a little."  The kid looked SO confused...And then I realized he was asking about my face.

For a few moments I totally forgot about my birthmark.

I find the story to be funny, but truthfully: it was a good feeling to realize I had forgotten about it.

A couple of weeks before this took place, someone else asked me the same question.  That time I automatically assumed they were talking about my face, I told them, "Oh, it's just a birthmark."  The person looked at me with, yet another, scrunched up forehead and responded, "No...I mean, what happened to your ankle??"

In the past I often forgot about my birthmark until someone reminded me with their stares or comments, or unless I looked into the mirror and saw it.  I rarely put much thought into my difference until I am put into situations that give me no choice but to think about it.  Even then I'd laugh through many situations, tell the story a few times, possibly blog about it, and then forget.  However, since my picture went viral unintentionally with the text "1 like = beautiful", I have constantly remembered my birthmark.  It has been impossible to forget it during the last 6 months or so.

I don't know why my picture going viral has affected me the way it has, affecting me more than the almost-daily experiences I have in my real life, versus my digital one.  I'm still trying to figure that out.  Maybe it's because for once, I actually and literally saw myself through someone else's eyes through a form of a meme - or, at least, my interpretation of how I thought the meme creator saw me...Not to mention the 20,000+ comments from strangers that I read from around the world.  I'm guessing that seeing myself through 20,000+ eyes in one go added up and impacted me more than I anticipated, even if I pretended that it didn't.  Until this had happened I never realized how different I must truly look to the outside world.

You see, I've always known I was different - but for the first time I felt different...and it didn't feel very good.  For the first time I felt truly uncomfortable in my own skin, catching myself looking down towards the ground more than I care to admit in response to my temporarily depleted source of confidence.

Forgetting about my facial difference was like a fresh breath of air.  It was nice to forget about my birthmark because that made me realize that I'm finally healing from the whole ordeal and from the painful emotions I've gone through since.  Although 6 months have passed, I can't deny that I'm still affected.

I still hurt, but the pain isn't as sharp as it once was.  I still have things I need to work through, but I've been making progress.  Through this experience, I've questioned many things I've never questioned before - some things that are good to question, others are questions I've never wanted to ask and never thought I would...yet, slowly but surely, I'm finding and discovering much needed answers.  I've been broken, but with the help of friends, family, and God, I'm being put back together again.

Last week I read a quote on Pinterest that is currently on my top 10 of my favorite quotes:

"It's okay to be a glow stick.  Sometimes we need to break before we shine." - Author Unknown

In the midst of this breaking experience I received many encouraging emails and comments.  One that has really stuck with me.  I can't remember who said it to me, but paraphrasing what they said, they basically  told me that it's okay to be broken.  When we're broken, God's light often shows through the cracks even brighter than before, and that's a beautiful thing.

I've been broken.  Let's face it - I was shattered, crying the "ugly cry" more times in 6 months than I had cried in all my life...But you know what??  God is good.  God is a healer.  He has given and shown me a source of strength I never knew I had.  God has even provided more encouragement support than I could have ever anticipated from family, friends, and strangers around the world (seriously, I've been in awe).

God has continuously reminded me of my worth, even when my human perception of that hasn't been clear on what my worth is in those darkest of moments.  He even gave my friend a song for me, helping me see myself through my Father's eyes again when my vision went blurry and I struggled to only see myself through the eyes of thousands of strangers who don't even know me.  (I'm sure that's one of my most played iTune tracks as of yet!)

But on top of all that??  God has also provided opportunities to tell my story and it's evident that He has even more up His sleeve - that this is just the beginning!!  I've had chances to speak at a youth camp (which was one of my God-sized dreams!), write for magazines, and I'm even headed to Chicago in April in hopes of using my story for His glory. He's been able to use my story of brokenness to shine through to others to remind them of their true worth, their true value.

I realize I wrote my initial entry about the incident months ago, and that was basically all I've published here on my blog since late August.  Some of you may be thinking, "It's about time you wrote an update on this situation here on your blog!" During the last several months I tried to write something, but I couldn't.  I can't even tell you how many drafts I started but didn't get past a paragraph, let along a sentence or two.

Truthfully, I actually had many moments where I came extremely close to deleting my blog and all forms of social media I had ever signed up for, but didn't thanks to the encouragement of some mentors.  I also realized that if I were to do that, my main platform in which I could tell my story would be gone.  Not only that, but if I deleted my blog, Facebook, and Twitter, the situation and what happened wouldn't disappear.  I would only be ignoring and hiding from it, and nothing good would ever come from that.

Looking back, I think I just needed some distance from the situation before I publicly tackled it more in-depth, beyond the first entry and other entries that touched on my thankfulness for the support people have offered and given.  I needed distance because I needed to have a better glimpse at the puzzle God was putting together, to see a small glimpse of the beauty He had in store...To see how He would shine through the brokenness.  At this point I know I've only seen a glimpse of the picture He's putting together with the puzzle pieces,  I just have no idea how He plans to put it together or what the full timeline looks like.  And that's okay.

Being broken usually isn't the most desired experience.  It's hard.  It's messy.  It typically involves a lot of pain and tears.  Sometimes, though, when you gain some distance from a situation and when you stay willing to be used (even in the moments when you feel too broken to be used), being broken can be one of the most beautiful experiences with the most beautiful, unexpected, results.

And you know what?  Now that I've gained some distance and have looked down the road, I realize that although I've had many opportunities, in the midst of all the chaos and doubt, I never desired to be in anyone else.  I never thought, "If only I had a 'normal' face, life would be better!!"  I never regretted God's allowance of my unique feature.  I may have gone through some great times of darkness and questioning, but God never let me go there.  I never doubted the way that I was born, I never doubted that this is who I am suppose to be...and that's pretty cool.

The exciting part of it all??  I know I have only seen a glimpse of what God has in store.  Deep down, I know there are more beautiful things to come, but all I really want to do is shine for Him.

Even through the pain, I'm thankful that he has picked me to play a part in this story. I'm thankful for the Light that helps me shine.

The Broken, Yet Brightly Shining, Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

PS: Just to keep you, my readers, on your toes...There are some behind the scenes type of things that have been playing out.  I mean, majorly unexpected things.  I'm hoping this will/can be something that I can write about soon, but I'm going to wait until things are more confirmed.  Please be in prayer for the story that continues to unfold.  Recently I was talking to someone about what may be in development and they told me, "Wow.  Here I was thinking that you were at the end of this story in your life, but really, it sounds like you're possibly in the middle!"  And if it turns out that I am in the middle??  It will be an incredibly beautiful plot twist I can't wait to share with you all.

Singleness: A Dating Comfort Zone

When you meet one of my really close friends (Melinda) you’ll notice one thing right away: She and I are total opposites.

She loves to dance and has rhythm.  I can't keep beat to save my life, and prefer to listen to music while standing still.

Melinda enjoys cooking, and well…It’s a rarity that you see me in the kitchen without chocolate and sugar, verses chicken and rice. She loves to cook, I love to bake.

Her personality is bubbly and outgoing. Me? I’m usually friendly and am out going in the right situations, but I frequently stay more mellow and in my quiet shell in areas where Melinda socially thrives.

She's Pentecostal.  I'm (Free Will) Baptist.

Our personalities, our wardrobes, our taste in guys…They’re 100% opposite.

Thinking about it, I think only thing I think we really have in common is our music choice and that we both love Jesus. (If you ask her about all this – she’ll pretty much tell you the same thing. We’ve talked about this 1,000 times - no exaggeration.)

Usually it works out in ways where she gets me out of my quiet, shy shell and I help her think of things in a new perspective. We’re opposites, but we often compliment one another really well.

In a recent discussion, though, we realized that we’re opposites in another way.

While not wanting to be redundant, I know I mentioned above that our tastes in guys are different. However, a few days ago we realized that our comfort levels in regards to having a relationship with a guy are different too.

A few months ago Melinda asked me a brutally honest question…a question no one has asked me before, and a question that made me really think hard about the answer. Her question?? She basically asked me, “Do you think you sometimes use your "Five Year 'No Man Plan'" as a way to hide from the possibility of a relationship? Do you think you’re afraid of a relationship, and this no man plan is a comfort zone?”

She even continued by pointing out, “Even when we’re out and you see or meet a cute guy, you point out he is attractive, yet you instantly start talking to me about your no man plan. You explaining that it doesn’t matter that you’re attracted to him – because you have a plan. You say you’re open to the right guy if God brings him, but it’s like you use it as an instant repellent by mentioning it within ear shot around the guy.”

Woah. I hadn’t really thought about this before, and I really had to be honest with her – and myself. (I didn’t even realize that I do this.)

I’ve never been in a relationship before – but not necessarily by choice.  It was never my plan to spend all of my 23 years of my life in total and complete singleness.  Truthfully, I always figured that by this point in my life I would have at least been on a date or two, minimum - and I realize that going 23 years without going on a date or being in a relationship is extremely unusual in our culture.  (People tell me this all the time - even if it's just by their very obviously shocked facial reactions.)

I’ve never had a boyfriend, I’ve never dated, I've never been in a relationship - and realistically I know I really don't have much control on this matter.  Things in life happen in their own time, and my timing for things to happen may not be the same as our culture's norm...and that's okay.

In the past I've had a few crushes.   I’ve even fallen hard for a couple of guys here and there with an attached hope for him to like me back…With the hopes of having a relationship with that guy. It’s just never worked out for different reasons.

Which, side note: It always cracks me up when people ask me why I’ve never had a boyfriend or why I've never been in a relationship, as if this is 100% by choice because having a desire to have a boyfriend means that I should have one automatically...but life is always a bit more complicated than that.

As I thought about her question, I realized that yes, I do think I use my no man plan as an excuse at times. I don’t always do that, but I think I do sometimes use it as a safety net. Sure, I claim I’m open to a possible relationship if the right guy were to pursue me – but how open have I really been to the idea? Probably not as open as I said I would be. (Although, I have to say…it really is easy to stick to a no man plan when there are no eligible, single, Christian men near me, or any eligible Christian guys attempting to pursue me. This creates an easy, no effort necessary, instant no man plan success. Ha…)

My no man plan has done a really good job with its main purpose: Helping me focus on my school work, getting a job, etc. It’s done a good job in helping me stay focused on the fact that I don’t need a man to live or thrive – because really, I don’t. I’m living in the moment, happy with being single, not focusing on the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend – like many girls my age have a tendency to do when single. (If you read the actual blog entry on my plan, then you’ll see it’s full, logical purpose – all of which are valid points.)

However, I think Melinda is right. My plan has become my comfort zone. I know no other way…I don’t know what it’s like to have a date, or a boyfriend. It is completely unknown territory and that scares me. I’ve defined myself by who I am as an independent person – and I have no idea how I would change, how my life would change, if there were another person so close to me.

A part of it, I think, is that although I’ve never had a relationship – I have been hurt in the past. Sometimes I’ve been hurt by a guy or two intentionally, and there has been a time or two that the hurt hasn’t been intentional.

But then I realize that I’ve even been deeply hurt by past close friendships I once valued so deeply with people I once trusted, yet, I have no idea what even happened between me and some of those friends. I’ve tried to find out, but I haven’t gotten any answers. If you know me well – I thrive the best when I have good, deep friendships and cannot stand having broken ones, or ones that seemingly and mysteriously end. Broken or ended friendships hurt me deeper than I can ever explain.

A guy as a boyfriend? He’s more than just a boyfriend. He is first, and foremost, a friend. And I think that alone scares me. Knowing the sting of lost friendships, I can’t imagine the possible pain of a lost close friendship and deeper relationship with a man.

To have a boyfriend, it means being open and transparent – and I know I’m not always very good at that. In the back of my mind, I think I sometimes wonder in regards to specific friendships, “Well, I use to be good friends with so and so. I was honest and transparent with them, but where are they now?? What’s the point if people keep leaving?”

There’s a certain level of myself that wants to keep things to myself, because I fully trust myself. I feel as though I can protect my heart in ways others can’t and in ways that others have let me down.

For example: In my blog entry "Exchanging the Negative for the Positive" I mentioned the lady who gave me unasked for make up advice so I can “hide" my birthmark "better”. I mentioned it frustrated and hurt…But what I didn’t mention? I didn’t mention that when I got into my car, I bawled my eyes out like a baby. Granted, I know some of those tears were from feeling physically awful from my recent gallbladder surgery, and from my disappointment of not going to DC this summer to attend Gallaudet…(In 2014 I was accepted into the college for the Deaf for 6 weeks of summer ASL classes)…but I know that a lot of it was the frustration in feeling like I’m in this constant struggle of wanting society to accept me as me, facial difference and all. A lot of my tears were from a build up of many hurtful comments that people had recently thrown my way. Yet, I left that part of out of my blog…And I even chose to forgo the fact that I had a major crying session in my car when telling the story to Melinda, and even to my mom – and I tell them both just about everything.

Melinda, on the other hand, is comfortable when she has a relationship with a man. She’s comfortable in having another half, a boyfriend. While I find my identity in being an individual while being independent, she frequently finds herself craving to have a relationship, while uncomfortable being single…often wondering when God will bring her “Mr. Right”.

I don’t know all the reasons as to why that’s her comfort zone, and really, it’s not my place to blog about them anyway. We all have our comfort zones, and they’re all different depending on the person. Her comfort zone just happens to be relationships, and mine happens to be in my singleness.

What I do know is that when I see my friend – I see her for her. I see her personality, her dreams and vision, her humor, her life story. I remember all the joy and laughter she’s brought to my life. She’s a woman who loves God with all her heart and always an honest woman who keeps in me check when it’s needed the most. She’s a woman who hopes to marry one day – as long as it’s the right guy. I see her as a person, a person who doesn’t need a guy to define her.

Just like I see Melinda’s value as being her being herself, I know that she sees me for me. She sees a woman who loves to ramble in her blog, who loves to travel, and who has massive God-sized dreams for her life – while loving God throughout all that life brings her. She sees me as a woman who, although she sees me as an individual, she sees someone who deserves true love just as much as any other woman – even if I don’t always feel like I do.

During the summer we had a conversation where we were comparing our differences and Melinda told me, “I think for the summer, you and I need to switch plans. I should take your no man plan – and you should put your no man plan on hold. We should both step out of our comfort zones!” Ha!

Often people ask me in confusion, “Do you even want to get married one day?” I cannot even emphasis how much I would love to marry in my future, and I hope that’s a blessing God includes in his plan for my life. Yet, I don’t want to put too much hope in something that may never happen…and while a relationship is sometime I desire, it’s also something I am scared to have – hence my comfort zone.

Now that I’ve been honest with myself, God, my friend, and now my blog readers – here’s to continuing in my no man plan, but not using it as a safety net, excuse, or form of repellent.

Here’s to being more open, and more willing to embrace any possible future God may have for my life – man included, or not.

You may be in a comfort zone too. Maybe it’s relationship related, or maybe it’s not. Just in case you need to break out of a comfort zone you’re in too – here are a favorite quote that I have found on doing so as a form of encouragement:

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”
- Brian Tracy

“I'm continually trying to make choices that put me against my own comfort zone. As long as you're uncomfortable, it means you're growing.”
-Ashton Kutcher

“The further you get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun.”
- Benedict Cumberbatch

“Coming out of your comfort zone is tough in the beginning, chaotic in the middle, and awesome in the end...because in the end, it shows you a whole new world!! Make an attempt.”
- Manoj Arora

“Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zones. We have to break the rules. And we have to discover the sensuality of fear. We need to face it, challenge it, dance with it.”
- Kyra Davis

You never know what could be if you’re not willing to try, right?

The Travelin Chick,
Crystal

PS: To read another entry I've written on dating and relationships, check out my blog entry Challenges for Singles (In a Couple's World).

***Please note, I did ask Melinda if it would be okay to include her in this blog entry. I did not write about her on a such a personal level without her okay, and without her proof reading what I wrote first.***

Even when She doesn't Like Donuts

This picture is from last year, December of 2013, taken
after my ankle surgery.  This is a knee caddy.

(If you saw my recently blog entry, Casts: Just Another Canvas Full of Potential, you know that I've recently reinjured my right ankle.  For the last few weeks I have had limited mobility as I hop along with my new, blue, beautifully decorated accessory on my leg - a cast.)

"Crystal, come with me to my room so we can play!!", Rayna exclaimed cheerfully on Christmas day.   Gliding down the hallways of her house on my fancy, better-than-crutches, knee caddy with my blue cast resting upon the leather seat, I followed my excited 4-year-old little cousin who was ready to play with her newly opened Christmas toys.

Once arriving to her princess/Mickey Mouse themed room she instantly sat on the floor and started to play with her new Lincoln Logs.  I stood there casually, on my one good leg watching her, as I talked with another family member in the room.  And then I ate it.

Before I realized what was happening, my still-bent right knee with my casted leg abruptly hit the (thankfully) carpeted ground.  Confused as to how I could fall while standing perfectly still (I mean, I know I'm accident prone...but even that was a weird one for me!), I looked at my knee caddy and instantly knew there was no way I'd be getting back on it.  There was no way, as the seat was tilted and broken off the base of the scooter.

For the rest of Christmas day, I went back and forth from the living room to Rayna's room by the use of my crutches...All while Rayna continuously asked me throughout our time together, "Crystal, why do you have so many owies?"

She even imitates my passion for
taking silly face pictures.

Today, nearly one week after Christmas, my grandmother sent me a video of my 4-year-old cousin pretending to walk on crutches.  With the help of a child's upside-down broom stick and the support of my grandfather, she dangled her right leg in the air - keeping it from touching the ground.  (I've included the video at the end of the entry, after receiving her mother's permission to post it.)

Replying to my grandmother's text, I asked her what inspired the moment of the video.  She told me, "I think it's 'who' and not what.  Maybe you??"

It was a humorous video to watch, and I had a good laugh...but it was also a good reminder of how observant children are and that they are constantly trying to imitate the actions of those that they look up to.

Rayna is in a BIG Crystal phase right now.  She's always asking when she can see me again and telling all her friends that she loves family dinners because, "I get to see Crystal!" During Christmas dinner she even made a lengthy toast filled with her thankful heart, ending it with, "...I'm just so thankful for this great big universe, but most of all I am thankful forrrrrr CRRRYYYSSTAAALLLL!!"

A few weeks ago my my mother and I went to see Rayna and her parents - Krispy Kreme donuts in hand.  (Which are a valuable delicacy for my city since we don't have a Kripsy Kreme locally.)  Ignoring the donuts, Rayna pulled me towards her parents bed and had me read her one of her favorite books.  At some point I told her, "Hey - there are donuts in the living room...Do you want a donut?  I love donuts.  They are one of my favorite treats."

As we sat to eat our donuts, once back in the living room, Rayna exclaimed, "I just LOVE donuts!"  Her mom, my aunt Felicia, looked at me and said, "Um...What?  No she doesn't.  She doesn't like donuts - she never has.  I think your little cousin is trying to impress you."

I think it's safe to say that she's currently my biggest fan.  Or, at least, one of them.  And she's watching me.  She's eagerly and dilligently listening to my words and to the things I say. She's trying to figure out how to be like me, trying to impress me when she copies my actions and says the things that I say - even when she doesn't like donuts.

As a new year begins I know that many people are reflecting from their year in 2014.  They are setting their New Year's Resolutions. People are striving to find new ways to live a better life in the coming days - and that's great!

As we get ready for our new year by reflecting how we spent the last 12 months and as we plan how to spend the next year, let's not forget the influence we have on others.

Maybe you don't have a 4-year-old cousin watching your every move who begs you to read the classics of The Poky Little Puppy every time you go to her house.  But
maybe you have a 12-year-old nephew, an 18-year-old granddaughter, little sister/brother, or you hold a leadership position in a church or school.

In the middle of our reflection and attempts to have a better new year let's ask ourselves,  "Am I living the kind of life I want my ______ (cousin, child, sibling...insert name here.) to imitate??  Am I choosing actions that I want them to choose?  Am I living a life I want them to live?"...Because their little eyes are watching, their ears are listening, their minds are memorizing, and their actions are copying.  They're ready to tell you that they love donuts, even when they never have...just to impress you.

The children in your life, whether they be your own or not, are looking up to you for guidance.  Even if you don't think you are - you are a role model.  You are someone else's inspiration.  You represent what someone wants to become.

The Travelin' Chick,
Crystal

Casts: Just Another Canvas Full of Potential

Earlier in the year I posted a blog entry, Ankle Surgery...Fun??, which was filled with pictures of my beautifully decorated post-surgery casts.  I figure that it is always important to create some fun in not-so-fun situations, right??  

Well, in November I re-hurt my ankle and am in a cast once again.  Lame, I know.

In my family, however, a cast is now just another form of an empty canvas!  And with it being the Christmas season, my sister (Amanda Howard) had fun decorating another cast!

Just like with my last casts, I let my 4-year-old cousin pick the color.
This year Rayna picked the color blue!

My sister and I knew we wanted to do something Christmas
themed.  So, my sister started by measuring my cast (while I was
sleeping.  Haha.) and she made a wreath!  How cute is this?

I should have planned my pedicure accordingly.
Next time, next time...

...And the painting and decorating began!

The snowman is on the back of my cast.
...Do you want to paint a snowman????

It wouldn't be a Christmas cast without the tree!

To help me get around better I have another knee caddy, which was a huge
hit with the children at the school where I work...especially when my
mother (Rhonda Hodges) helped me by decorating a basket with battery operated lights
and Christmas ornaments! 

In addition, I also have a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
to help "guide my sleight"!!  ;-)

I think it's safe to say that my mother, sister, and I make a great, festive team!

The Travelin' and Temporarily injured Chick,
Crystal

2014 Flashbacks

It's time for another year to come to an end.  As I sit back and reflect on the many memories and moments I was able to experience throughout 2014, I realize what a crazy and adventourous ride it has been.

In 2014 I...

• Spent half the year on crutches.
• Met Lady Antebellum!!
• Finally expressed my interest in becoming a speaker and started a new career - which was a buried 7-year-old dream. 
• Was accepted to attend the University for the Deaf and hard of hearing (Gallaudet) for summer classes.
• Had to decline my acceptance to Gallaudet due to emergency gallbladder surgery.  (Seriously, I sound so accident prone this year.)
• Received a college scholarship for my academic achievements. 
• Took a writing class on how to write memoirs.
• Started going to coffee shops just to read and write.
• Moved up in my job from being a noon time assistant (AKA: yard duty teacher) to a substitute teacher's aid.
• Spent over 3 months subbing long term at one school, working with Deaf and Hard of Hearing students.
• Successfully completed 33 college units.
• Spoke to several classrooms at a local elementary school, hopefully breaking stereotypes before they were built.
• Held a sensitivity training in a local hospital.
• Joined a hospital Patient Family Advisory Council, and was asked to join a second one that will start in 2015.
• Was turned into a super hero AND had a theme song written for/about me!
• Started writing a book...or two.
• Spent time with one of my Operation Mobilization London friends - in person - for the first time since 2012!
• Saw Wicked, the musical, for my fourth time. 
• Had a murder mystery super hero birthday party!
• Celebrated the birth of my baby cousin, Erica!
• Spent a LOT of fun times with my 4-year-old cousin Rayna!  (And became her favorite person.)
• Made sugar cookies for the first time (ASL style).
• Bought more books than I have time to read.
• Was upgraded to first class and economy plus for free.
• Tried cotton candy grapes.  (Yes, that's a real thing.)
• Had my photo unintentionally go viral (to over 30 million strangers).
• Had my story written about in the local newspaper, The Fresno Bee.
• Enjoyed having sleepovers with my little sister, BreAnna!  As well as tackling our summer bucket lists together.
• Received more encouragement from friends and strangers that I am SO thankful for.  They'll never know how much their support and encouragement meant to me throughout the year.
• Did a lot of house sitting and babysitting.
• Went on an Alaskan cruise that caught on fire!!  (Yet, it was the best cruise I've ever been on.)
• Went to Seattle and Portland.
• Spent time with my girls at Sugar Pine Christian Camp during the summer as a week-long counselor.
• Tried a reindeer sandwich.  (Oh, wait...Did I write that out too close to Christmas time?)
• Attended the Free Will Baptist National Convention.
• Spent time with dear friends.
• Had four laser treatments.
• Spoke at a women's retreat (not as the main speaker, but for a 20 minute seminar/testimony time).
• Wrote articles for Randall House Publications (will be published in early 2015) and for the Treasure Magazine (published in the fall of 2014). 
• Made a ton of new friends!
• Laughed a LOT.
• Met Jack Canfield and was encouraged by him when I had the chance to talk with him about my life goals.
• Chased my dreams.
• Learned, matured, and grew a lot.
• Became stronger - and an overcomer.
• Made a gazillion God-sized dreams AND accomplished some of them too!!
• Went to Nashville and created this 3-minute beauty with Brian Ellison and Melissa Cowart:

This year had a LOT of great moments.  Many were planned for, dreamt of, and totally unexpected.  (Many of which were really, really unexpected.)  I am SO excited to see what 2015 has in store for me and my family.  I don't know what's going to happen in the new year, but I do know that I am going to keep dreaming big - and I'm going to keep pursing my dreams.  Who knows what doors God may open??

Happy New Year, my dear friends!  Thanks for spending a part of it with me.

The Travelin' Chick,

Crystal

Beyond Thankful

While I know most people are posting what they're most thankful for on Facebook, last year I enjoyed writing my list here on my blog - including photos to go with my list.  I think I'm going to make it a personal tradition to blog a summarized list every year.

So...What am I thankful for this year??  

The ability to travel.  Everyone knows I can't sit still for long.  This year I travelled to: Alaska, Seattle, Portland, Canada, and Nashville.  It was my first year in a long time to not hop on a plane to go overseas, but that's okay.  I really enjoyed exploring all the sites and these locations had to offer - and had a GREAT time while visiting each of them!

My job.  I love my job, and many people can't say that.  I'm thankful that I was able to move up from being a noontime assistant ("yard duty teacher") to a substitute teacher's aid.  But even in being a substitute teacher's aid, I've been placed at a school long-term...and I love it there.  The staff are incredible, the teacher's are kind, and I have the chance to use my language skill set with American Sign Language.  Every week I'm there, the more personal and language growth I see in my life.  (How does this picture of a post-it note relate to my job?  My job has loads of funny moments.  Loads and loads!!...Including this one, which I wrote on a post-it note for the teacher I was working with at the time.)

My beautiful mother!  This is one lady I'll never stop being thankful for.  Ever.  

She goes to work, takes care of my dad, is my sounding board, coordinates a women's retreat, constantly cracks the corniest of jokes, and she even makes me dinner on nights she knows I'm out late because of school.  She balances a lot, and I'm thankful for the Godly example she has been in my life.  I'm thankful that she's not just my mom, but my friend.

Donuts.  I'm thankful for donuts.  Many of you may not know this, but donuts are my weakness.  While in Portland this summer, I spent over 30 minutes in line waiting for one of the city's hot spots for the sweet pastries...and it was worth it!  For years I have been telling my mom on my birthday, "Please don't get me a cake...I would like some donuts instead."  It may seem silly, but I really am thankful for one of my all-time favorite snacks!

My little sister, BreAnna.  She's the best little sister a girl could ask for.  She keeps me laughing ALL of the time, and I enjoy all of our conversations.   We have the best sleepovers and enjoyed tackling our summer bucket lists together this year. BreAnna has brought more encouragement to my life than I can even explain, and I only hope that I can encourage her as much as she has encouraged me. 

My 4-year-old cousin, Rayna.  This kid keeps me laughing every time I see her.  Last night at dinner she kept telling me that she and I are best friends, and how she just couldn't wait to come to my house for Thanksgiving Day.  This morning when she woke up, apparently she told her daddy that today was a "Crystal day" - so she couldn't play with him.  She could only play with me.  When she arrived, she instantly requested that I sit next to her for lunch, where we had the following conversation:

"Crystal, I love family dinners!" - Rayna

"Yeah?? Me too! Why do you love family dinners?" - Me

"Because I get to see YOU!! And I LOVE spending time with you." - Rayna

My new baby cousin, Erica!!  Rayna is now a big sister!...Isn't she cute??  I'm thankful for every chance I get to have to hold her...Especially since the line to do so is always so long! (Ha!) She's adorable, and quite possibly the squeakiest baby I have ever met.  Who wouldn't be thankful for a chance to snuggle with such an adorable baby??  (Side note: I'm also incredibly thankful for the aunt that gave me these two snuggly and playful cousins to adore!)

The support I've experienced since finding out about my Facebook fiasco of my photo going viral.  Wow.  Talk about a powerful amount of encouragement!!  I know I've not blogged much since my initial entry about the situation, but I promise to write more soon about everything.  I can't deny it - the last few months have been a crazy roller coaster ride, and one that isn't quite finished yet...But WOW.  When I made my first post on Facebook about what happened - and then blogged about it - the support has been off the charts.  During a really hard day, I recently had a friend/mentor tell me something along the lines of, "Look at all the support you have!!  As I watch your blog and Facebook page, you've had more support with this one issue alone than I've ever had in my many years of ministry."  And it's true.  I've had a LOT of support, and I cannot give enough thanks for this as this crazy, unexpected journey unfolds.

Not only am I thankful for the support I've received, I'm also thankful for all the encouragement.  (Although, I do realize that these practically go hand in hand.)  Since the Facebook Fiasco started, I've received message after message from friends and strangers alike.  I heard from many of my 1,550 Facebook friends, plus others I've never met from around the world.  I have heard from people with the same type of birthmark that I have, from people who have a child who has what I have, and from people who didn't know what a Port Wine Stain was until they clicked on my blog, or read the article the Fresno Bee wrote on my story. 

The encouraging messages I have received have been such a blessing, and an unexpected surprise.  While I knew some people would message me, I didn't expect such a high number of emailed support.  Like I mentioned above, this has been a roller coaster ride I need to write about again later, but without the encouragement I have received - I know this journey would have been 100,000x harder than it has been.

On the days when I've allowed myself to become distracted by the discouragement of my situation, I've had so many of you tell me, "I just know God is going to do something great with your story!!  I know it!!"  So thank you.  Thank you for lifting me up when I have struggled and been down. Thank you for following my story, sharing it, emailing me, praying for me, and for encouraging me in all the different ways you have all had a part in.  I know many of you are rooting for the plans and story God has for my life, and I appreciate it!

                        

I've known Denise all my life, but she and I have only moved past the life-time acquaintance phase to a full, good, friendship in the last year and a half...And for this, I am beyond thankful!!   In September of 2013, Denise was the worship leader of a women's retreat my mom coordinates.  During the retreat, I had the chance to get to know her a little bit.  Wanting to get to know her better I later requested to meet for Starbucks.  (Which, it turns out, neither one of us likes coffee!  Ha!)  Since then, Denise has been more than amazing and has gifted me with more encouragement than she'll ever realize and she keeps me laughing with her witty sarcasm.  She has turned me into a superhero, Amethyst, and has written me a beautiful song...A song that I can't imagine being written in any other way.  I never imagined having a song written for/about me - ever - but she did it in the most perfect way, and it's the best gift I've ever received.

Recently I went to Nashville to work on a video project.  Ironically, it is a project I had planned before my picture went viral.  Around June or July I called my friend, Brian, and told him of a video idea I had in mind...A video I've wanted to do for at least a year...and a video in which I wanted tell a part of my story, but also with the ability to use this video to hopefully promote and attract potential speaking opportunities.  

I went to Nashville early in the month of November and I've already seen two cuts of the video.  It looks FANTASTIC.  Brian is incredible at what he does, and it was a joy to work with him and my new friend, Melissa.  Being in front of a camera was a bit awkward for me at times, as I'm use to being behind the camera...but I really enjoyed every moment of this project. 

I'm thankful for the opportunity to take time off work and school so I could travel to Nashville and work on this project.  I'm thankful for cough drops, which were a huge contribution to the creating of this video.   I'm thankful for the patiences of both Melissa and Brian, as well as their encouragement throughout the whole process.  I'm especially thankful to have the chance to work with Christian "video guy" who took the time to pray over the project we were working on, as well as for God to use the video to open more doors to speak to others - whether the door be their computer screens on YouTube, or by me (hopefully) gain more speaking engagements where I can speak and encourage others in-person.

If anyone is looking for a chance to tell their story through video, I highly recommend that you check out his website: www.tekmerion.net  (I've not published my video yet, but I will keep you all updated and share it once I am able.)

My friend Melinda! We are total opposites, which is a beautiful thing...but that's another entry for another day.  (Ha!)  I'm thankful for the many deep conversations that have taken place in my car with this lady, and am thankful for her constant reminders to have faith, to dream big dreams!...That nothing is impossible.

I'm thankful for the ability to dream God-sized dreams, and to be proud to do so!  With God anything is possible - and what's not to be thankful about that?  My dreams are BIG, but my God is even BIGGER.  (I have a whole bulletin board in my room that is dedicated to my God-sized dreams!)

This beautiful lady (Amberly Neese) is one of my mentors, and one of the best speakers I have ever heard.  She's a fantastic speaker, friend, and has one of the biggest gifts of encouragement that I have ever seen.  Earlier in the year I sat down to talk with her, telling her of my God-sized dream to become a public speaker. That same day, and since then, she has taken the time to share her words of wisdom, bits of advice, and encouragement with me.  She was the main speaker at a retreat I did a 20 minute talk at, and I'm so glad that she was there.  With her being my mentor in this area of life, I found it to be more than fitting for her to be there as I spoke to a group of women and hopefully started my speaking career.  I'm thankful for women like her (and Denise) who take the time to really invest in my life like they have done, and for women like them who take the time to really "champion me on" (As in the world of Amberly!) - especially in the last year. 

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Again, this is only a summarized list of the things and people I am thankful for.  If I included everything and everyone, this would easily be the blog that never ends.

Too add to my list, though, I am incredibly thankful for God's strength, guidance, His patience, and protection.  Between random gallbladder surgeries, cruise ships catching on fire, heavy school loads (while working full time), pictures going viral...My life has been crazy busy and adventurous, and I can't imagine living life without my God. 

I don't know what the next year will hold for me, but I'm going to continue to dream my God-sized dreams and dream BIG.  I'm going to continue to be thankful for both the little things, and the big things, on a daily basis.

What are you thankful for??

The Travelin' Chick,

Crystal